Published May 13, 2023, 9:20 p.m. by Liam Bradley
Crafting a leadership style that engenders trust is not easy. In order to build trust with people, a leader must be competent, have integrity and be caring. Let’s take a closer look at each of these qualities.
A leader must be competent in order to be trusted. People must believe that the leader knows what they are doing and is capable of achieving the goals they have set. A leader must also be able to communicate their competence to others. This can be done through clear and concise communication, as well as demonstrating expertise in their field.
Integrity is important for a leader because it is the foundation of trust. People must believe that the leader is honest and ethical in order to trust them. A leader with integrity is someone who is consistent in their words and actions. They are also someone who is transparent and accountable for their choices.
A leader must care about their people in order to earn their trust. People must believe that the leader has their best interests at heart. A leader who is caring is someone who is supportive and empathetic. They are also someone who is willing to listen to their people and help them grow.
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how can you help the human race
human species
progress at the end of the day the human
animal is a social animal
and our very survival depends on our
ability
to form communities to form cultures
when we're surrounded by people who
believe what we believe
something remarkable happens
trust emerges
and make no mistake of it trust is a
feeling a distinctly human feeling
you know we we all have friends who are
total scrups and yet we still trust them
right
trust is not a checklist simply doing
everything you say you're going to do
does not does not mean people will
inherently trust you it just means
you're reliable
we need trust
right we need trust when we're
surrounded by people who believe what we
believe and trust starts to emerge and
we trust them and they trust us we're
more willing to take risks
we're more willing to experiment which
requires failure
we're more willing to explore and go
somewhere that no one has ever gone
before with the confidence
that if we fail if we trip over if we
turn our backs that those within our
community those who we trust and who
trust us will look after us while we're
gone will pick us up when we fall over
we'll help us when we're hurt our very
survival
depends on it
we're not good at everything we're not
good by ourselves you know if i send you
out to go fight a saber-toothed tiger by
yourself odds are tiger one u-0
it's not going to go very well
but if you go out as a group
we're pretty damn amazing and the reason
is is because we all have our strengths
and we all have our certain weaknesses
and the goal is not to fix your
weaknesses the goal is to amplify your
strengths and surround yourself with the
people who can do what you can't do
but it's not just based on skills and
and application and experience it's
based on what you believe
it's based on what you believe you see
simply being good at something and
having somebody else being good at what
you're no good at does not mean you will
trust each other
do we want to go to work with people who
understand us who believe what we
believe who have a similar view of the
world that has nothing to do with their
opinions and the differences that we
share that's good that's called
diversity that's called advantages to
problem solving which is we can all look
at the same thing from a different angle
and come up with solutions what i'm
talking about is why should you help
each other in the first place what are
you in pursuit of
now the question is is what creates that
sense of values and beliefs what creates
that sense of trust
right our very human instinct we know
how to find people who believe what we
believe our our survival depends on it
we're biologically gifted with this idea
if i ask you to go out in the street and
find all the people who believe what you
believe you know exactly what to do
you're going to strike up conversations
you're going to start talking to people
and you'll either you'll have a good
feeling about them or you won't either
you'll have chemistry whatever that
means
or you don't sometimes it's quick
sometimes it's slow but we know how to
do it it's called making friends it's
called dating it's called networking we
have the innate ability to do it the
problem is it's not scalable
the problem is you're the only one who
had that gut feeling this is why we
don't research everything we don't need
access to all information
let's say you want to go buy a new
television right
so you do all your research consumer
reports look it all up right i know what
i'm going to buy i know what i'm going
to do i'm getting the lg it's the best
on the market can't wait to get it right
that's that's what you've decided to do
this weekend that friday night you go
over to a friend's house your friend the
gadget guy the guy who has the first of
everything right and you go to his house
and you can't wait to show off and share
with him what you're going to do with
all your research and you say i'm
getting the new lg
and he says nah man get the sony it's so
much better
[Music]
in that one instant
either
he's completely turned all of your
research on its head and you're going to
have to go back and do all the research
again is he right should i trust him
should i believe him or you just bought
a sony
all that marketing all that research
out out the tubes down the drain it
doesn't matter because the person that
you trust the person from within your
community
told you that you should get the sony
and you trust him he knows more than you
he must be right i trust him i don't
have to know everything
again you're walking down the street you
accidentally bump shoulders with
somebody and they say where are you
going you so i'm going to best buy get
the new lg they go don't get the new lg
i know everything about this stuff get
the sony crackpot right you're going to
ignore the person we don't trust
everyone we trust people from within our
community but you have to know what to
look for
every single piece of communication we
make sorry every single piece of every
decision we make in our lives is a piece
of communication
every decision we make in our lives as
individuals or as organizations
is a piece of communication it's our way
of saying something about who we are and
what we believe
this is why authenticity matters
this is why you have to say and do the
things you actually believe
because the things you say and do are
symbols
of who you are
and we look for those symbols so we can
find people who believe what we believe
our very survival depends on it so if
you're putting out false symbols you
will attract people to those symbols but
you won't be able to form trust with
them
if you go to one of your friends and you
say to one of your friends
how would you like me to dress
so that you'll like me better
how would you want me to address you how
do you want me to speak
so that you'll like me more
right your friends are going to look at
you and be like
what are you talking about come on come
on come on what should i wear so that
you'll find me more appealing and how
would you like me to speak to you so
that you'll like me more and your
friends are going to tell you
just be yourself
that's why i like you i don't just be
yourself
now think about what we do in industry
what do we do we do market research and
we go and we ask the customers what kind
of things the way we what style should
we speak to you how should we decorate
ourselves what kind of things are you
drawn to so that we can do those things
you'll like us more it's just as
ridiculous
it's just as ridiculous organizations
should say and do the things they
actually believe and they will attract
people who believe what they believe or
they can choose to lie and at the
slightest hint
that they might be lying cynicism sets
in and people start saying i'm not sure
i can trust these guys because there's
not a lot of consistency in all the
things they say and do which means they
can't have a very strong belief set or
they're lying to me
and we call them inauthentic the entire
process of asking other people who we
should be is inauthentic that's
hilarious to me
all these positioning studies we do are
inherent we're going to do a study to
find out from people so we can be more
authentic that's hilarious
say and do what you actually believe and
the symbols you put out there the things
you say and the things you do those red
hats
are ways that people can find you people
put harley davidson logos on their body
to say something about who they are
corporate logo
ain't no proctor and gambles tattooed on
anybody's arm
because harley means something they
stand for something people put that
tattoo on there not to tell you that
they own a motorcycle they put that
tattoo there to tell you something about
themselves
you ever see anybody with a with a mac
laptop put a sticker over that beautiful
shining apple ain't never gonna happen
then how will you know who i am
do you ever see anybody with a pc break
out the windex to clean out their
computer
mac people
have you ever seen a dirty mac
doesn't exist
does not exist why because it's who i am
these are symbols we use the companies
that are crystal clear in what they
believe
and they're disciplined in how they do
it they're consistent in what they do
and everything they say and everything
they do serves as a symbol of the set of
values and beliefs we use those symbols
to say something about who we are
we surround ourselves with the people
and the products and the brands that say
something about who we are
and when we can find the people who
believe what we believe we're weirdly
drawn to them
because our very survival
depends on it
we need it
and so the more you can give of yourself
the more you can give of what you
believe the more you can
discipline with discipline say and
do the things you actually believe
strange things start to happen
we go to work every day and we sit at
our computers and we sit at our desks
and we solve problems by sending emails
get up and go talk to somebody
it's called human interaction
and it's a beautiful beautiful thing if
we're willing to give to the person next
to us it's amazing what they'll be
willing to give to us
right and again our very survival
depends on this
we need to trust each other and we're
more willing to trust somebody who's
willing to help us
i hate the whole self-help industry
right how can you be happy what are the
five steps you can follow to be a
millionaire what are the seven steps
that you need to get the career that you
want you know me me me me me me me me
what about helping the guy next to you
what are the five steps that you can do
to help the person next to you lose some
weight what are the seven steps that you
can follow to help the person next you
find the job that they want
do you know how we get fulfillment
you can be happy because you did things
at work you can be proud because you did
things at work you can be excited
because you had a big success at work
did you know how you feel fulfilled at
work
when you do something for someone else
it's the only way we get that feeling
it's the only way we get that feeling
you know why the statistics say that
over 90 percent of people don't feel
fulfilled by the work they do it's not
because of the job it's not because of
the pay it's not because of the benefits
is because we don't help each other
anymore we sit in our cubes and we work
and anything that we turn to anybody is
because we need something we need to get
something
and yet we don't put ourselves out there
simply for no other reason than to help
somebody else you know what generosity
is generosity is doing something for
someone else expecting nothing in return
at no point ever
i did something for him why won't he
help me
it's not an equation
it's designed to help you feel good and
mother nature has given us this feeling
when we do something for someone else to
encourage us to do it because when we
are in groups when we are surrounded by
people who believe what we believe
trust emerges
and our very survival and progress
goes up
i did a little experiment with um
um
with a homeless person
not like on them it's not like
electrodes
with them
voluntarily um helped me um
because the whole idea of giving
right
you've
you've all walked down the street and
you've all seen someone begging and you
either have or haven't
thrown a few pennies in their cup
when you do
you feel good
you bought that feeling
that is a legitimate commercial
transaction you know commercial
transactions are defined as the exchange
of consideration there was an exchange
of consideration here you gave money
you got the feeling of goodwill you paid
for that feeling if you didn't give
money you either feel nothing
or you feel bad
you can't feel good by not giving
all right you paid for that feeling so
now the question is how is that person
encouraging us to give
the joke is they act like every
corporation in the world they talk about
themselves
me me me me me me right like they sit
there with their little outdoor
advertising
little sign
right
and it says i'm homeless i'm hungry i
got 12 kids i'm a veteran god blessed
they got it all in there trying to
appeal to somebody the religious vote
the veteran vote you know the child
sympathizer surround yourself with lots
of pets go for that one too
right
all in an attempt to get something from
someone
takers
not givers right all about me well what
do corporations do
we've added more ram we've added more
rom we've added more speed this one's
number one we're the biggest we're the
best we've been around since 1969. we're
better than them we're faster than them
we're more efficient than that one me me
me me me me me me me
and so even if we buy their product
guess what yeah i won't really feel much
so i did this little experiment i found
um
a nice homeless lady on the streets of
new york who's willing to help out and i
learned that with her sign which was
pretty typical i'm homeless i'm hungry
she makes between 20 and 30 dollars a
day
uh for you know for a day's worth of
work eight to ten hours of sitting there
selling goodwill eight to ten hours
she'll make twenty to thirty dollars
thirty dollars is considered a good day
i changed her sign
and the new sign
made her forty dollars in two hours
and then she left
[Music]
it's one of the reasons she's homeless
is because she's decided that she only
needs 20 to 30
a day to live if she stayed she would
have made 150
the point is she made 40 bucks in two
hours what the signs say
the sign said
if you only give once a month
please think of me next time
it has nothing to do with the taker it
has everything to do with the giver
and what are the objections people give
when they don't
give
i can't give to everyone
how do i know that they really need it
and so i address both those concerns i
know you can't give to everyone so if
you only give once a month my cause is
legitimate
i will still be here when you're ready
to give
40 bucks two hours make it about them
not about you
the fact of the matter is 100
of customers
are people
and 100 of clients
are people and 100 of employees
are people
i don't care how good your product is i
don't care how good your marketing is i
don't care how good your design is if
you don't understand people you don't
understand business
we are social animals when you go out on
the street in an area where you don't
belong where you're not amongst people
who believe what you believe and you see
somebody with the same badge as you and
you haven't met them yet you're gonna go
hey
why
they're just as much of a stranger as
any other person on the street but
because they have that little symbol
that says that
i believe what you believe
i'm a little bit like you
we can form a bond very quickly and
instantly
you do
you do
it's called human beings
do you ever watch um
[Music]
the deadliest catch
on the discovery channel
i was looking through the channels one
night and deadliest catch came on and on
this episode
just random
um
they were in a huge storm
now for those of you who don't know
deadliest catch
they take these crab fishing boats out
in the bering sea which is like
terrible
and they put cameras on them and we
watch
right
the reason that's i guess significant is
because these crab fishermen have i
think one of the top five deadliest jobs
in the world you know i don't know what
the exact number is but dozens of
fishermen die every year
doing doing this
we apparently find that entertaining
which it actually is
so they have cameras only on five or six
of the ships even though there are many
many ships that go out fishing every
season and they don't really come into
proximity with each other because you
know the ocean's huge and they usually
sabotage each other and give each other
false information because they're all
competitors they're all looking to get
the crabs and you know make sure that
they find them somebody else doesn't and
yeah it's business right it's just
business it's okay we all do the same
thing at our own companies
and in this one episode this big huge
storm was so violent that they had to
bring all the pots which are the big
cages that they catch the crabs and
they'd bring all the pots back on the
boat
uh and wait out the storm and just by
dumb luck one of the boats that had
cameras on it
was in proximity of a boat that didn't
have cameras on it and so they filmed
they had secured all their pots on the
deck and so they started filming the
other boat
and they filmed a guy climbing on the
outside of the cage securing
the pots
and all of a sudden a huge wave
hits the side of the boat
and the guy's not there anymore
and the people on the boat with the
cameras start screaming man overboard
man overboard man overboard and they
turn their boat
towards
where they think he might be
he's a stranger they don't know him they
don't know the crew members of the other
boat and yet they react
and they turn towards him
and they find him in the drink
and
for those of you who don't understand
how dangerous this is if the water is so
cold that if you're in the water for i
think that it's a minute or a minute 30
hypothermia will set and then you die
and
they come upon him
and he's screaming don't let me die
don't let me die
and they pull him on board
not out of the woods yet they strip off
his clothes because it's wet and cold
and they wrap blankets around him to
prevent hypothermia from setting in
and he survives
and it's overwhelming
and
the captain comes down
and this is going on i mean you can go
watch it on tv the camera comes the
captain comes down and he hugs this
stranger
this young man his competitor he hugs
this guy as if he's his own son
i
i lost it
everybody is crying
and you realize what happened here was a
human interaction
and the reason they risk their own lives
to help this other person even though
they spend every other day trying to get
ahead and sabotage is because at the end
of the day they're all crab fishermen
and they know something about each other
and they know something about the risk
that they all take to do this
and when push comes to shove
they will put themselves out there to
help each other for no other reason
than they get it
they're one of the same
i will promise you
that every single member of that crew
that day
went home with a feeling of fulfillment
i promise you that every single person
on that crew that day
felt more good in their hearts and in
their jobs than the richest days they've
ever pulled in
my question is is what are you doing to
help the person next to you
don't you want to wake up and go to work
for the only reason that you can do
something good for someone else
wouldn't you want them to do that for
you
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