March 29, 2024

How to Build Trust with People | Simon Sinek Motivation



Published May 13, 2023, 9:20 p.m. by Liam Bradley


How to be a Leader People Will Trust

Crafting a leadership style that engenders trust is not easy. In order to build trust with people, a leader must be competent, have integrity and be caring. Let’s take a closer look at each of these qualities.

Competence

A leader must be competent in order to be trusted. People must believe that the leader knows what they are doing and is capable of achieving the goals they have set. A leader must also be able to communicate their competence to others. This can be done through clear and concise communication, as well as demonstrating expertise in their field.

Integrity

Integrity is important for a leader because it is the foundation of trust. People must believe that the leader is honest and ethical in order to trust them. A leader with integrity is someone who is consistent in their words and actions. They are also someone who is transparent and accountable for their choices.

Caring

A leader must care about their people in order to earn their trust. People must believe that the leader has their best interests at heart. A leader who is caring is someone who is supportive and empathetic. They are also someone who is willing to listen to their people and help them grow.

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how can you help the human race

human species

progress at the end of the day the human

animal is a social animal

and our very survival depends on our

ability

to form communities to form cultures

when we're surrounded by people who

believe what we believe

something remarkable happens

trust emerges

and make no mistake of it trust is a

feeling a distinctly human feeling

you know we we all have friends who are

total scrups and yet we still trust them

right

trust is not a checklist simply doing

everything you say you're going to do

does not does not mean people will

inherently trust you it just means

you're reliable

we need trust

right we need trust when we're

surrounded by people who believe what we

believe and trust starts to emerge and

we trust them and they trust us we're

more willing to take risks

we're more willing to experiment which

requires failure

we're more willing to explore and go

somewhere that no one has ever gone

before with the confidence

that if we fail if we trip over if we

turn our backs that those within our

community those who we trust and who

trust us will look after us while we're

gone will pick us up when we fall over

we'll help us when we're hurt our very

survival

depends on it

we're not good at everything we're not

good by ourselves you know if i send you

out to go fight a saber-toothed tiger by

yourself odds are tiger one u-0

it's not going to go very well

but if you go out as a group

we're pretty damn amazing and the reason

is is because we all have our strengths

and we all have our certain weaknesses

and the goal is not to fix your

weaknesses the goal is to amplify your

strengths and surround yourself with the

people who can do what you can't do

but it's not just based on skills and

and application and experience it's

based on what you believe

it's based on what you believe you see

simply being good at something and

having somebody else being good at what

you're no good at does not mean you will

trust each other

do we want to go to work with people who

understand us who believe what we

believe who have a similar view of the

world that has nothing to do with their

opinions and the differences that we

share that's good that's called

diversity that's called advantages to

problem solving which is we can all look

at the same thing from a different angle

and come up with solutions what i'm

talking about is why should you help

each other in the first place what are

you in pursuit of

now the question is is what creates that

sense of values and beliefs what creates

that sense of trust

right our very human instinct we know

how to find people who believe what we

believe our our survival depends on it

we're biologically gifted with this idea

if i ask you to go out in the street and

find all the people who believe what you

believe you know exactly what to do

you're going to strike up conversations

you're going to start talking to people

and you'll either you'll have a good

feeling about them or you won't either

you'll have chemistry whatever that

means

or you don't sometimes it's quick

sometimes it's slow but we know how to

do it it's called making friends it's

called dating it's called networking we

have the innate ability to do it the

problem is it's not scalable

the problem is you're the only one who

had that gut feeling this is why we

don't research everything we don't need

access to all information

let's say you want to go buy a new

television right

so you do all your research consumer

reports look it all up right i know what

i'm going to buy i know what i'm going

to do i'm getting the lg it's the best

on the market can't wait to get it right

that's that's what you've decided to do

this weekend that friday night you go

over to a friend's house your friend the

gadget guy the guy who has the first of

everything right and you go to his house

and you can't wait to show off and share

with him what you're going to do with

all your research and you say i'm

getting the new lg

and he says nah man get the sony it's so

much better

[Music]

in that one instant

either

he's completely turned all of your

research on its head and you're going to

have to go back and do all the research

again is he right should i trust him

should i believe him or you just bought

a sony

all that marketing all that research

out out the tubes down the drain it

doesn't matter because the person that

you trust the person from within your

community

told you that you should get the sony

and you trust him he knows more than you

he must be right i trust him i don't

have to know everything

again you're walking down the street you

accidentally bump shoulders with

somebody and they say where are you

going you so i'm going to best buy get

the new lg they go don't get the new lg

i know everything about this stuff get

the sony crackpot right you're going to

ignore the person we don't trust

everyone we trust people from within our

community but you have to know what to

look for

every single piece of communication we

make sorry every single piece of every

decision we make in our lives is a piece

of communication

every decision we make in our lives as

individuals or as organizations

is a piece of communication it's our way

of saying something about who we are and

what we believe

this is why authenticity matters

this is why you have to say and do the

things you actually believe

because the things you say and do are

symbols

of who you are

and we look for those symbols so we can

find people who believe what we believe

our very survival depends on it so if

you're putting out false symbols you

will attract people to those symbols but

you won't be able to form trust with

them

if you go to one of your friends and you

say to one of your friends

how would you like me to dress

so that you'll like me better

how would you want me to address you how

do you want me to speak

so that you'll like me more

right your friends are going to look at

you and be like

what are you talking about come on come

on come on what should i wear so that

you'll find me more appealing and how

would you like me to speak to you so

that you'll like me more and your

friends are going to tell you

just be yourself

that's why i like you i don't just be

yourself

now think about what we do in industry

what do we do we do market research and

we go and we ask the customers what kind

of things the way we what style should

we speak to you how should we decorate

ourselves what kind of things are you

drawn to so that we can do those things

you'll like us more it's just as

ridiculous

it's just as ridiculous organizations

should say and do the things they

actually believe and they will attract

people who believe what they believe or

they can choose to lie and at the

slightest hint

that they might be lying cynicism sets

in and people start saying i'm not sure

i can trust these guys because there's

not a lot of consistency in all the

things they say and do which means they

can't have a very strong belief set or

they're lying to me

and we call them inauthentic the entire

process of asking other people who we

should be is inauthentic that's

hilarious to me

all these positioning studies we do are

inherent we're going to do a study to

find out from people so we can be more

authentic that's hilarious

say and do what you actually believe and

the symbols you put out there the things

you say and the things you do those red

hats

are ways that people can find you people

put harley davidson logos on their body

to say something about who they are

corporate logo

ain't no proctor and gambles tattooed on

anybody's arm

because harley means something they

stand for something people put that

tattoo on there not to tell you that

they own a motorcycle they put that

tattoo there to tell you something about

themselves

you ever see anybody with a with a mac

laptop put a sticker over that beautiful

shining apple ain't never gonna happen

then how will you know who i am

do you ever see anybody with a pc break

out the windex to clean out their

computer

mac people

have you ever seen a dirty mac

doesn't exist

does not exist why because it's who i am

these are symbols we use the companies

that are crystal clear in what they

believe

and they're disciplined in how they do

it they're consistent in what they do

and everything they say and everything

they do serves as a symbol of the set of

values and beliefs we use those symbols

to say something about who we are

we surround ourselves with the people

and the products and the brands that say

something about who we are

and when we can find the people who

believe what we believe we're weirdly

drawn to them

because our very survival

depends on it

we need it

and so the more you can give of yourself

the more you can give of what you

believe the more you can

discipline with discipline say and

do the things you actually believe

strange things start to happen

we go to work every day and we sit at

our computers and we sit at our desks

and we solve problems by sending emails

get up and go talk to somebody

it's called human interaction

and it's a beautiful beautiful thing if

we're willing to give to the person next

to us it's amazing what they'll be

willing to give to us

right and again our very survival

depends on this

we need to trust each other and we're

more willing to trust somebody who's

willing to help us

i hate the whole self-help industry

right how can you be happy what are the

five steps you can follow to be a

millionaire what are the seven steps

that you need to get the career that you

want you know me me me me me me me me

what about helping the guy next to you

what are the five steps that you can do

to help the person next to you lose some

weight what are the seven steps that you

can follow to help the person next you

find the job that they want

do you know how we get fulfillment

you can be happy because you did things

at work you can be proud because you did

things at work you can be excited

because you had a big success at work

did you know how you feel fulfilled at

work

when you do something for someone else

it's the only way we get that feeling

it's the only way we get that feeling

you know why the statistics say that

over 90 percent of people don't feel

fulfilled by the work they do it's not

because of the job it's not because of

the pay it's not because of the benefits

is because we don't help each other

anymore we sit in our cubes and we work

and anything that we turn to anybody is

because we need something we need to get

something

and yet we don't put ourselves out there

simply for no other reason than to help

somebody else you know what generosity

is generosity is doing something for

someone else expecting nothing in return

at no point ever

i did something for him why won't he

help me

it's not an equation

it's designed to help you feel good and

mother nature has given us this feeling

when we do something for someone else to

encourage us to do it because when we

are in groups when we are surrounded by

people who believe what we believe

trust emerges

and our very survival and progress

goes up

i did a little experiment with um

um

with a homeless person

not like on them it's not like

electrodes

with them

voluntarily um helped me um

because the whole idea of giving

right

you've

you've all walked down the street and

you've all seen someone begging and you

either have or haven't

thrown a few pennies in their cup

when you do

you feel good

you bought that feeling

that is a legitimate commercial

transaction you know commercial

transactions are defined as the exchange

of consideration there was an exchange

of consideration here you gave money

you got the feeling of goodwill you paid

for that feeling if you didn't give

money you either feel nothing

or you feel bad

you can't feel good by not giving

all right you paid for that feeling so

now the question is how is that person

encouraging us to give

the joke is they act like every

corporation in the world they talk about

themselves

me me me me me me right like they sit

there with their little outdoor

advertising

little sign

right

and it says i'm homeless i'm hungry i

got 12 kids i'm a veteran god blessed

they got it all in there trying to

appeal to somebody the religious vote

the veteran vote you know the child

sympathizer surround yourself with lots

of pets go for that one too

right

all in an attempt to get something from

someone

takers

not givers right all about me well what

do corporations do

we've added more ram we've added more

rom we've added more speed this one's

number one we're the biggest we're the

best we've been around since 1969. we're

better than them we're faster than them

we're more efficient than that one me me

me me me me me me me

and so even if we buy their product

guess what yeah i won't really feel much

so i did this little experiment i found

um

a nice homeless lady on the streets of

new york who's willing to help out and i

learned that with her sign which was

pretty typical i'm homeless i'm hungry

she makes between 20 and 30 dollars a

day

uh for you know for a day's worth of

work eight to ten hours of sitting there

selling goodwill eight to ten hours

she'll make twenty to thirty dollars

thirty dollars is considered a good day

i changed her sign

and the new sign

made her forty dollars in two hours

and then she left

[Music]

it's one of the reasons she's homeless

is because she's decided that she only

needs 20 to 30

a day to live if she stayed she would

have made 150

the point is she made 40 bucks in two

hours what the signs say

the sign said

if you only give once a month

please think of me next time

it has nothing to do with the taker it

has everything to do with the giver

and what are the objections people give

when they don't

give

i can't give to everyone

how do i know that they really need it

and so i address both those concerns i

know you can't give to everyone so if

you only give once a month my cause is

legitimate

i will still be here when you're ready

to give

40 bucks two hours make it about them

not about you

the fact of the matter is 100

of customers

are people

and 100 of clients

are people and 100 of employees

are people

i don't care how good your product is i

don't care how good your marketing is i

don't care how good your design is if

you don't understand people you don't

understand business

we are social animals when you go out on

the street in an area where you don't

belong where you're not amongst people

who believe what you believe and you see

somebody with the same badge as you and

you haven't met them yet you're gonna go

hey

why

they're just as much of a stranger as

any other person on the street but

because they have that little symbol

that says that

i believe what you believe

i'm a little bit like you

we can form a bond very quickly and

instantly

you do

you do

it's called human beings

do you ever watch um

[Music]

the deadliest catch

on the discovery channel

i was looking through the channels one

night and deadliest catch came on and on

this episode

just random

um

they were in a huge storm

now for those of you who don't know

deadliest catch

they take these crab fishing boats out

in the bering sea which is like

terrible

and they put cameras on them and we

watch

right

the reason that's i guess significant is

because these crab fishermen have i

think one of the top five deadliest jobs

in the world you know i don't know what

the exact number is but dozens of

fishermen die every year

doing doing this

we apparently find that entertaining

which it actually is

so they have cameras only on five or six

of the ships even though there are many

many ships that go out fishing every

season and they don't really come into

proximity with each other because you

know the ocean's huge and they usually

sabotage each other and give each other

false information because they're all

competitors they're all looking to get

the crabs and you know make sure that

they find them somebody else doesn't and

yeah it's business right it's just

business it's okay we all do the same

thing at our own companies

and in this one episode this big huge

storm was so violent that they had to

bring all the pots which are the big

cages that they catch the crabs and

they'd bring all the pots back on the

boat

uh and wait out the storm and just by

dumb luck one of the boats that had

cameras on it

was in proximity of a boat that didn't

have cameras on it and so they filmed

they had secured all their pots on the

deck and so they started filming the

other boat

and they filmed a guy climbing on the

outside of the cage securing

the pots

and all of a sudden a huge wave

hits the side of the boat

and the guy's not there anymore

and the people on the boat with the

cameras start screaming man overboard

man overboard man overboard and they

turn their boat

towards

where they think he might be

he's a stranger they don't know him they

don't know the crew members of the other

boat and yet they react

and they turn towards him

and they find him in the drink

and

for those of you who don't understand

how dangerous this is if the water is so

cold that if you're in the water for i

think that it's a minute or a minute 30

hypothermia will set and then you die

and

they come upon him

and he's screaming don't let me die

don't let me die

and they pull him on board

not out of the woods yet they strip off

his clothes because it's wet and cold

and they wrap blankets around him to

prevent hypothermia from setting in

and he survives

and it's overwhelming

and

the captain comes down

and this is going on i mean you can go

watch it on tv the camera comes the

captain comes down and he hugs this

stranger

this young man his competitor he hugs

this guy as if he's his own son

i

i lost it

everybody is crying

and you realize what happened here was a

human interaction

and the reason they risk their own lives

to help this other person even though

they spend every other day trying to get

ahead and sabotage is because at the end

of the day they're all crab fishermen

and they know something about each other

and they know something about the risk

that they all take to do this

and when push comes to shove

they will put themselves out there to

help each other for no other reason

than they get it

they're one of the same

i will promise you

that every single member of that crew

that day

went home with a feeling of fulfillment

i promise you that every single person

on that crew that day

felt more good in their hearts and in

their jobs than the richest days they've

ever pulled in

my question is is what are you doing to

help the person next to you

don't you want to wake up and go to work

for the only reason that you can do

something good for someone else

wouldn't you want them to do that for

you

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