Gutfeld: Who invited these idiots?

FOREVER AND GREG GUTFELD, HE'S

NEXT.

♪♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪♪

>> Greg: ALL RIGHT.

STOP IT YOU SEXY PEOPLE.

HAPPY AMERICA, EVERYONE.

IT'S TUESDAY SO YOU KNOW WHAT

THAT MEANS.

♪

>> ASSEMBLE TOGETHER IN ONE

PLACE THE GREATEST SEGMENT IN

CABLE TELEVISION.

TRANS TUESDAY.

>> HEY WAIT A MINUTE I'M NOT

TUESDAY I'M SATURDAY.

>> Greg: WELCOME TO TRANS

TUESDAY.

I'M YOUR HOST ANGELA LANSBURY.

>> Tyrus: HOW DARE YOU.

>> Greg: I DID IT FOR YOU ITHANK

YOU.

>> Greg: TONIGHT'S TOPIC JAWS

DROPPED AFTER A TOP GETS POPPED.

AFTER MEETING WITH PRESIDENT

BIDEN AT A PRIDE EVENT ON

SATURDAY A TRANSGENDER

INFLUENCER BARED HER BREASTS ON

THE SOUTH LAWN.

>> HI, MR. PRESIDENT.

>> HOW ARE YOU.

>> IT IS AN HONOR TRANS RIGHTS

ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.

♪♪

♪♪

>> ARE WE TOPLESS AT THE WHITE

HOUSE?

>> Greg: I KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT

BE THINKING.

WHAT A BUNCH OF BOOBS.

SERIOUSLY WHO INVITES THESE

IDIOTS.

COME ON WHITE HOUSE, HAVEN'T YOU

LEARNED A THING FROM BUD LIGHT.

THE ONLY THING INFLUENCERS

INFLUENCE IS UNIVERSAL HATE

TOWARDS INFLUENCERS.

INFLUENCERS ARE TO CREDIBILITY

WHAT CANCER IS TO YOUR BALLS.

I KNOW.

ALSO, HOW THE HELL DID WE GET

HERE WHERE I PERSON EVEN THINKS

THIS IS APPROPRIATE AT THE WHITE

HOUSE.

EVEN HUNTER SAID, PLEASE, A

LITTLE DECORUM.

THE FACT IS, EVERYTHING GONE

WRONG THESE DAYS IS BASED ON NOT

MATCHING THE APPROPRIATE

ACTIVITY TO THE APPROPRIATE

VENUE.

I'D ASK WHO WAS IN CHARGE OVER

THERE BUT BIDEN PROBABLY DOESN'T

EVEN KNOW.

WHEN ASKED ABOUT MONTOYA BEARING

HER CHEST, BIDEN SAID, I THOUGHT

THAT WAS GERALD NADLER LEAVING

THE SENATE STEAM ROOM.

>> Tyrus: OH, WE GOING TO HELL

FOR THAT.

>> Greg: THAT WAS MEAN.

>> Tyrus: OH, MAN.

>> Greg: THIS IS A FITTING STORY

TODAY BECAUSE LAST WEEK I GOT

INTO A TIFF WITH A FRIEND OF

MINE ON TRANS ISSUES.

HE CLAIMED IT'S ONLY AN ISSUE IN

THE MEDIA BUT EVERYWHERE ELSE

IT'S NOTHING.

YOU KNOW HE'S RIGHT.

WE ARE PUTTING A LOT OF EMPHASIS

ON SOMETHING THAT HAS LITTLE

CONTACT WITH THE REAL WORLD.

WE DON'T SEE THIS AT ALL SO HE

SAYS IT DOESN'T MATTER.

BUT I SAY IT DOES BECAUSE THE

LAST TIME I CHECKED THE MEDIA

REACHES MILLIONS AND HAS AN

EFFECT ON HOW THE WORLD THINKS

AND LOTS OF STUFF I IDENTIFY

EARLY ON STARTED OUT AS FRINGE.

AI, BAIL REFORM, WOKENESS,

FENTANYL, TAYLOR SWIFT.

WE PURSUED THE LAB LEAK THEORIES

WHILE OTHERS JUST TOOK A LEAK ON

IT.

SO IS TRANS AN OBSESSION OR A

DELUSION?

AND HOW CAN YOU ASSESS IT IF THE

STATISTICS SUCK.

YOU CAN'T TELL IF THEY OR THEM

REFERS TO ONE PERSON OR A MOB.

BUT THAT'S OKAY WE DON'T HAVE

THE STATS AND YOU SHOULDN'T ASK

BECAUSE THAT'S BAD TASTE.

ACTIVISTS TALK ABOUT TRANS KIDS

LIKE IT'S RAMPANT BUT DOES

ANYONE ASK FOR THE NUMBERS DO

THEY IMPROVE AFTER HORMONES OR

GET WORSE.

BECAUSE PLASTIC SURGERY AND

DRUGS AREN'T THE KEY TO

HAPPINESS JUST ASK MICKEY ROARK.

LIKE AL ACTIVISTS IT'S RELATED

TO THEIR SIZE AND TRANS IS

EVERYWHERE.

HERE'S A SAMPLE FROM YESTERDAY'S

NEWS, HALF OF A BRITISH LADY'S

FISHING TEAM WALKS OFF AFTER

TRANS ALLOWED TO JOIN.

THE MOST SURPRISING THING ABOUT

THAT STORY IS THAT THERE ARE

FEMALE FISHING TEAMS.

OF COURSE THESE TRANS FISHER HAS

AN ADVANTAGE, IT TAKES A HUGE

ROD TO CATCH SOMETHING LIKE

THAT.

OH, THE GROANS ARE JUST MUSIC TO

MY EARS.

ENGLAND'S HEALTH SERVICE WON'T

GIVE PUBITY BLOCKERS TO KIDS

ANYMORE AT CLINICS.

TOO BAD THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN

BEFORE ONE DIRECTION GOT

TOGETHER.

AFTER A TRANSGENDER CYCLIST

AUSTIN PHILLIPS WON A RACE OVER

THE WEEKEND BEATING OUT THE

CLOSEST FEMALE RACER BY FOUR

MINUTES TENNIS LEGEND MARTINA

NAVRATILOVA TWEETED, WHAT A

JOKE.

AND I AGREE WITH HER.

AND SHE ONCE CALLED ME AN

UNFUNNY ASS WIPE.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

>> Tyrus: OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER.

>> Greg: YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT.

IT'S LIKE THE BEST MOMENT OF MY

LIFE.

>> Tyrus: POINT OF PRIDE.

>> Greg: YES, IT IS A POINT OF

PRIDE.

GROWING MAJORITY OF THE U.S. IS

AGAINST TRANS ATHLETES COMPETING

OUTSIDE THEIR BIRTH GENDER AND

TWO-THIRDS SAY THEY BELIEVE

THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS.

34% DISAGREE BUT THEY WOULDN'T

KNOW A ME IS IN IF YOU

INTRODUCED THEM TO JOE

SCARBOROUGH.

NOW SOME STORIES ARE JUST PLAIN

DULL UNTIL YOU ADD THAT MAGIC

INGREDIENT TRANS.

FOR EXAMPLE A TEACHER'S CLOTHING

DISRUPTS CLASSROOMS IN CANADA.

HERE'S THE TEACHER.

YOU SEE A DULL STORY BECOMES

SPECTACULAR THANKS TRANS.

IT'S MY FEEL ON GUTFELD WHAT THE

LIBS IS NORRIS WHAT WE HAVE TO

LOOK AT BECAUSE WHAT THEY IGNORE

IS THE DELUSION LIKE A PENIS ON

WHAT THEY CONSIDER A WOMAN.

IT'S NOT JUST TRANS THEY LOVED

TALKING ABOUT CRIMINAL JUSTICE

REFORM UNTIL IT BECAME CRIMINAL

PARTY TIME.

THEY CALLED RACIST UNTIL THERE

WAS NO ONE LEFT TO CALL RACIST.

THEY LOVED DRAG AND THEN ENDED

UP IN EVERY KIDS LIBRARIES.

IN EVERY PHENOMENON IT TAKES

ROOT AND ALMOST ALWAYS, ALWAYS

GOES TOO FAR.

FOR YEARS WE WASHED DELUSIONS

BECOME STORIES FOR POLITICAL

BENEFIT.

RUSSIAN CONCLUSION, RIOTS AND

LOOTING AS MOSTLY PEACEFUL.

COVID SPREAD BY BATS.

PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE

THINGS UNTIL THEY HAVE TO.

AND WHEN IT REACHES THE WHITE

HOUSE, I'D SAY THEY AREN'T

GIVING US MUCH CHOICE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> PERIOD!

>> Greg: LET'S WELCOME TONIGHT'S

GUESTS.

THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON HE BUYS

A BOTTLE OF CONDITIONER,

COMEDIAN AND COHOST OF THE JIM

NORTON AND SAM ROBERTS SHOW, JIM

NORTON!

CAUSE SDMUS NOTHING HURTS LIKE

THE TRUTH AND NOBODY TRUTHS LIKE

THE HURTS.

FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR WASHINGTON

TIMES OPINION EDITOR CHARLIE

HURT!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE].

>> Greg: SHE CAN BE SARCASTIC IN

FOUR DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, FOX

NEWS CONTRIBUTOR KAT TIMPF!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Greg: AND WHEN THEY HAND HIM

A RESTAURANT MENU, HE HANDS IT

BACK AND SAYS YES.

MY MASSIVE SIDE KICK AND THE NWA

WORLD HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION,

TYRUS!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Greg: JIM, WHENEVER WE COVER

THIS STORY WE ALWAYS FIND OUT

THE UGLY TRUTH BEHIND ALL OF

THEM AND YOU PINPOINTED IT

PERFECTLY, IT ALWAYS INVOLVES

NOT TRANS BUT AN INFLUENCER.

>> Jim: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Greg: INFLUENCERS ARE THE

ROOT OF ALL EVIL.

>> Jim: YEAH, THEY'RE ANNOYING

SO WHATEVER THEY'RE REPRESENTING

YOU FIND ANNOYING BECAUSE IT'S

AN INFLUENCER DOING IT.

>> Greg: YES.

>> Jim: I UNDERSTAND IT'S A

LITTLE TASTELESS TO SHOW YOUR

BREASTS, BUT IT'S FUNNY, THE

COUNTRY JUST HATES EACH OTHER.

THAT'S THE BIG -- A LOT OF

PEOPLE WHO ARE UPSET ABOUT

BREASTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE HAD

NO PROBLEM WITH THE QANON SHAMAN

IN THE CAPITOL BUILDING.

>> Greg: HE HAD A GREAT CHEST.

>> Jim: HE DID, AND GREAT LEGS,

TOO.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND HOW YOU FEEL

ABOUT INSTITUTIONS ARE THEY

SACRED OR OKAY TO ACT A CERTAIN

WAY.

>> Greg: GOOD POINT.

>> Jim: PEOPLE WERE UPSET IT

WASN'T APPROPRIATE BUT IT WASN'T

LIKE SHE WAS SWINGING HER PENIS

IN THE ROSE GARDEN.

>> Greg: BUT SHE WAS FONDLING

AND I THINK YOU CROSS A LINE

WHEN YOU FONDLE.

>> Jim: YEAH, IT BECOMES

TERRIFIC.

EVERY DAY IS TRANS TUESDAY.

>> Greg: YOU DON'T EVEN CALL IT

TRANS TUESDAY.

>> Jim: I WOULD LIKE TO COMPLAIN

BUT HEY IT'S RIGHT IN MY FACE.

>> Greg: CHARLIE, WHAT DID YOU

MAKE OF THIS INCREDIBLE DISPLAY

OF MAMMOR.

>> Tyrus: S

>> Charlie: YOU MAKE A GOOD

POINT I COVERED THE WHITE HOUSE

AND WE NEVER HAD THIS STORY.

THE SOUTH LAWN WAS NEVER TURNED

INTO A STRIP CLUB WHICH WAS

PROBABLY A GOOD THING.

ACTUALLY, WHEN I FIRST SAW THE

PICTURES, I THOUGHT IT WAS A

DEVELOPMENT IN THE STORY OF

HUNTER'S LAPTOP.

AND SO I WAS LIKE, OH, THIS WILL

BE INTERESTING.

YOU KNOW YOU RAISE OBVIOUSLY A

GREAT POINT, AND I WORRY ABOUT

THIS SOMETIMES BECAUSE WE TALK

SO MUCH ABOUT IT, WHETHER OR NOT

IT'S REAL OR IT'S NOT.

BUT WHETHER IT'S MANUFACTURED OR

WHETHER WE TALK ABOUT IT TOO

MUCH IN THE MEDIA, AT THE END OF

THE DAY A LOT OF PEOPLE AREN'T

IN ON THE JOKE.

AND, YOU KNOW, JUST ASK RILEY

GAINES, ASK ANY OF THESE WOMEN

WHOSE SPORTS HAVE BEEN RUINED BY

PEOPLE WHO ARE, YOU KNOW, WHO

DON'T THINK IT'S A JOKE AND THEY

TAKE IT TOO FAR AND THEY

REMEMBERING WHAT PEOPLE HAVE

SPENT THEIR ENTIRE LIVES DEVOTED

TO PERFECTING.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT THERE WAS A

WOMEN'S FISHING TEAM, FOR

EXAMPLE.

>> Greg: I KNOW.

>> Charlie: BUT I ALSO DIDN'T

KNOW UNTIL YOU EXPLAINED IT

RIGHT THERE THAT THERE WAS AN

INHERENT ADVANTAGE THAT MEN HAVE

OVER FEMALES.

>> Greg: I GUESS IT'S LIKE GRIP

STRENGTH OR SOMETHING LIKE?

>> Charlie: I JUST KNOW THAT

ANYTIME I'VE EVER TAKEN A WOMAN

FISHING SHE ALWAYS OUTDOES ME SO

IT'S KIND OF HUMILIATING.

>> Jim: THE ADVANTAGE THE MAN

HAS IS YOU CAN PEE OFF THE BOAT.

>> Charlie: THIS IS TRUE.

>> Greg: ALTHOUGH I'VE SEEN --

NEVER MIND.

DO YOU KNOW THE WHITE HOUSE

LATER CONDEMNED THIS INCIDENT SO

IT'S CLEAR IT'S NOT ALLOWED ON

THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN BUT IT'S

OKAY IN OUR NATION'S MIDDLE

SCHOOLS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

NO, I'D KIDDING.

KAT I HAVE SOME REALLY FUN TAPE

THIS IS THE INFLUENCER TALKING

ABOUT WHY SHE DID IT.

SHALL I PLAY IT FOR YOU AND YOU

CAN RESPOND?

>> Greg: PLEASE DO.

>> I HAD ZERO INTENTION OF

TRYING TO BE VULGAR OR BE

PROFANE IN ANY WAY.

I WAS SIMPLY LIVING IN JOY,

LIVING MY TRUTH AND EXISTING IN

MY BODY.

HAPPY PRIDE, FREE THE NIPPLE.

>> Greg: ALL RIGHT, KAT, I DON'T

LIKE ANYBODY WHO EVER SAYS

LIVING IN MY TRUTH

>> Kat: WELL, IT'S CLASSIC

INFLUENCER.

>> Greg: YES, IT IS

>> Kat: IT IS.

WHAT THEY DO IS THEY SHOW OFF

THEIR BODIES AND THEY INCLUDE

SOME, YOU KNOW, INSPIRATIONAL

WORD SALAD REASON FOR WHY THEY

DID SO.

WHETHER IT'S THIS OR IT'S LIKE,

YOU KNOW, A GIRL HOLDING HER ASS

CHEEKS UP WITH HER HANDS.

A FEW YEARS AGO I NEVER MANAGED

I WOULD BE ABLE TO STAND IN MY

POWER LIKE THIS.

AND IT'S LIKE, YOU WANT TO SHOW

OFF YOUR ASS BECAUSE IT LOOKS

GOOD.

SHE WANTS TO SHOW OFF HER BOOBS

BECAUSE THEY LOOK G SO I FEEL

LIKE I WOULD HAVE -- I FEEL LIKE

PEOPLE SHOULD JUST ADMIT THAT,

ANY INFLUENCER SHOULD JUST ADMIT

THAT.

AND ALSO OBVIOUSLY MOST PEOPLE

WHO ARE GAY OR TRANS ARE NOT

LIKE THIS THEY'RE JUST LIVING

THEIR LIVES AND THEY'RE COMPLEX

PEOPLE WHO WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW

THINGS ABOUT THEM OTHER THAN

THEIR SEXUAL OR GENDER IDENTITY.

THIS IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF

THAT BUT IT CERTAINLY IS

REPRESENTTIVE OF AN INFLUENCER.

>> Greg: YES, IT IS TRUE.

TYRUS.

>> Tyrus: THE GOOD NEWS IS

FINALLY SOMEBODY WANTS TO GO TO

THE WHITE HOUSE BECAUSE THERE

WASN'T A LONG LINE TO GET IN

THERE.

IT WASN'T A LOT OF DATES FILLED

SO THEY CAN HAVE IT.

>> Greg: YES.

>> Tyrus: THE DOWN SIDE IS AND

TO KAT'S POINT, MY ISSUE IS,

IT'S THE OVERSEXUALIZATION OF

EVERYTHING AND IT JUST SENDS A

HORRIBLE MESSAGE.

AND THEY'RE INFLUENCING THE

WRONG [BLEEP].

BECAUSE, FOR EXAMPLE, IF I HAVE

A STRAIGHT CHILD AND A GAY CHILD

IN MY HOUSEHOLD, THEY HAVE THE

SAME RULES.

MY GAY CHILD'S NOT GOING TO

LEARN ABOUT SEX ANY QUICKER OR

FASTER THAN MY STRAIGHT CHILD

IS, OKAY?

SAME RULES, SAME DATING HABITS

NO ONE ALLOWED UPSTAIRS NO BOYS

IN THE ROOM NO GIRLS IN THE ROOM

OR WHATEVER THEIR DEAL IS.

WHEN SOMEBODY'S NOT FAMILIAR

WITH THE LIFE STYLE OR DOESN'T

KNOW SOMEBODY WHO'S TRANSGENDER

OR KNOW SOMEBODY WHO'S GAY OR

STRAIGHT AND THIS IS WHAT THEY

SEE ON NATIONAL TV EVERY NIGHT

IT INFLUENCES THEM TO THINK A

CERTAIN WAY, THEY THINK ALL GAY

MEN ACT THIS WAY ALL

TRANSGENDERS ACT THIS WAYEN A

IT'S SHAMEFUL.

IT'S LIKE IF EVERY TIME I CAME

ON THIS TV I ROBBED YOU OR HAD A

PIECE RIGHT HERE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY CUZ AFTER A

WHILE IT IS ALIKE WOW MAN

BROTHERS ARE HORRIBLE BECAUS

THAT'S ALL I SEE.

I DON'T CARRY MYSELF THAT WAY.

MIGHT BE FUN TO ROB YOU AND I

DON'T DO IT.

THE POINT IS THAT'S A STEREO

TYPE.

THEY ARE PLAYING OFF THE

STEREOTYPES, SHE GOT THE

ATTENTION THE APOLOGY'S GARBAGE

AND SHE WOULD DO IT AGAIN.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO THE

WHITE HOUSE YOU'RE REPRESENTING

YOUR GROUP.

IF I WAS GOING TO WHITE HOUSE I

WOULD WEAR A SUIT EVEN THOUGH

YOU KNOW I'M THE LAST GUY TO

WEAR A SUIT BUT I'M REPRESENTING

MY FAMILY MYSELF AND MY NAME.

WITH ALL YOUR PRIDE TRY A LITTLE

DECORUM.

>> Greg: THERE YOU GO.

I THINK WE COVERED THIS