Minder 80s TV 1984 SE4 EP6 - If Money Be the Food of Love, Play On

[Music]

what's the name of that place again oh

the winchester it's a drinking club

i don't suppose you thought of that

joker's name yet

no i know it's arthur something or other

and i got the photo

the london isn't sydney it's 30 miles

across and it's got nearly as many

people as the whole of australia and

you're expecting to find one bloke

you're not even sure is here you must be

out of your tiny mind

maybe

[Applause]

here we go

come on then come on

cop they are pulling away what are you

feeling about that you fool well i kind

of gav can i i said last week you need

servicing

we've lost them

you know what carp inheriting you from

sergeant chisholm is not dissimilar to

inheriting death duties

you know you're trouble my son total

ignorance are the times we live in

no historical perspective that's your

problem you know what they say about

history repeating itself shouldn't do it

in company oh very amusing terrance very

drool and here you are turning down

gainful employment and here you are

giving me gba to the eardrum again hello

arthur hello

i'll be looking for you i'm sad to say

you found me oh tell angela well i'll

take the term for the worst i suspect

yeah i know what you mean

i've got a good trade if you're

interested listen if it's as dodgy as

that last cochlear you tried to sell me

oh no nothing like that i don't know how

that got in the police five rickett

wouldn't he i'll phone him up you know

whispering grass what's his name um saw

taylor yeah that's it he's dead

yeah fell off the back of a lorry

no i spoke to him told him that gear had

been got in good faith and he was taken

on liberty with my living apologise did

he ask for me name didn't he can you

imagine

you want to see what got off in it

yeah all right come on it's over here

ain't hard to look at is it

keep her indoors warm and happy in

winter i thought

try it now gov

well i don't know

maybe a bit of dirt in the carburetor

what do you think

i think our two ladies are probably

hoisted after selfridges by now

don't insult me more full for that kind

of doe i could join a barclay hunt

capture my own foxes get the skins made

up and still come out with change leave

your father that coke comes to at least

a couple of grand the right way tell him

will you terry consider yourself told

i don't know you threw your fingers to

the bone you have to put up with all

this egg

eerie stands cushioned against the harsh

realities of unemployment mostly i may

add you to my good officers all right

800 and we've got a trade yeah where was

i i don't know but i wish you were still

there i'm still here i risk my liberty

for that cult offer and you want to

steal it off me look i can buy them

legit at cost for what you are asking

more for now will you please go away

well all right

seven

and that's final yeah dave and we were

only kids at the time but we remember

the yarrow marches right dave gero a sea

of unemployed schlepping their way

hundreds of miles down the airways and

by ways to the smoke there were no

motorways in those days terry no socks

holes in their daisies but cloth caps a

dignified angle in order that they might

demand their democratic right to do an

honest bit of collar will you know sad

days my son but they will be back terry

stand on me

that is what they said but he helps

ella's helps themselves well you must

have his undivided attention maybe six

here tell when are you gonna bring in

them tapes you keep promising me oh

that's right i'm sorry mate no next time

i promise you all right yeah yeah that's

a bit tasty all right

shannon bad eye over is she okay

five uh

and it really saddens me to say it uh

excuse me

mr daley arthur daley arthur is he yeah

this is him here i don't know

i suppose we just sit here gav

waiting to come back

see if they got anything like we did

that yesterday without a result don't

you remember idiot

well this is you with gary mitchell

isn't it yeah that's right look at that

oh well yes yes there is a vague uh

similarity and you are i'm sorry my name

is dee rogers we've just literally got

off the plane from australia gary's an

old mate of mine and he said if we were

over here we should look him up

unfortunately i lost his address

but i do remember him mentioning this

club and talking about this really nice

blow called arthur daly it is you isn't

it arthur well now now that you mention

it um miss

d please call me d ah d and i'll call

you arthur that's okay fine listen can i

buy you and your friends a drink

mr nice guy can get it can't you yeah

yes why not i mean it's at least i can

do it mom please einstein let me get

this one oh it's okay love you'll get

your choice believe me

what's happening uh gin and orange

thanks

i'll take a lager coming up

um i'm terry oh how do you do terry

g'day for or i go elsewhere can't you

see we got company

listen if you don't mind me saying if uh

all the ladies are like you down under i

think i'll immigrate tomorrow

tommy charming oh yes

that's a good group you got this board

wait hello greg good to know my name's

morris yeah we call him mournful i'll

let you work out why how do you do

morris oh not so good as a matter of

fact i'll keep trying you know i mean

yeah i know a couple of aussie birds

terrific oysters shout out come and have

your drinks

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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excuse me dear yeah do you wish to

purchase that dress

oh i'm not sure i was just checking the

color i'm afraid i'll have to take it

back inside the shop you've set off the

alarm

oh i'm sorry it's this dear we've got

them on all the garments it gets removed

once the garment is purchased of course

ah

hey you you don't think i was trying to

steal the dress do you not a tool dear

you want to know were you

yeah i knew him well

great drinking mates gary and me

um but i must say i didn't expect him to

come back here no

why's that

uh

well um he seemed very anxious to get

away yeah to australia specifically uh

yeah well he liked the idea of all that

sunshine and freedom you know what i

mean oh right yeah dude what are we

gonna do about the taxi

uh

would it be all right to send it away

and park our luggage in here just while

we talk no trouble at all dave's a

diamond

uh oh english money oh terry will sought

that for you i did he's very good at uh

that yeah

sort of thing

greg will help you won't you

yeah sure i'll give you a hand

you really are a nice fella

gary was right about you

one might know in life my dear is if you

cannot do someone a good turn do not do

them a bad one you put that weight here

that's a lovely philosophy a little

something i picked up along the way

arthur have you any idea where i might

find gary well i'm not exactly unknown

in this town my dear and if he's around

i'm sure we can work something out so

that we can find him for you would you

i'd be really grateful

[Music]

uh yeah well i am a very busy man

i mean do have to earn the daily crust

after daily crust

ah get a living i understand

that important is it it is to me

you see well actually gary and i weren't

just good friends

as a matter of fact we love each other

very much

we were to be married but

well let's just say circumstances parted

us and

well anyway things are different now

but i thought you and um greg oh no he's

just an old friend having to be on the

plane he's over here meeting his brother

oh

arthur i'd be perfectly willing to cover

any costs that you might incur

if you wouldn't be insulted by that

insulted no no no of course not my dear

no no just just overheads you know no i

wouldn't be insulted and how could i not

help such a pretty lady as yourself now

me and my man terry will do the best we

can

oh

something out of my dear i guess i'm a

bit chilly

what in this eat

not used to your climate i guess

don't go away my dear

[Music]

score is all you're getting and you're

taking liberties

three and i'm doing you a favor

arthur i want you to know how depressed

that makes me feel red is cashing your

claw right now

and i want your assurance that it is

bankrupt stock

what

[Music]

oh yeah of course well

well if it wasn't for fat i've got to

pay my analyst you're what

he reckons i'm suffering from depression

i'll tell you arthur it makes me doleful

i don't know you do it

stands you're in for three and within

minutes you knocked it out for five

perfectly normal business transaction

profit and loss that's what it's all

about and it she's happy i'm happy of

course marvel's a bit dull forward when

isn't he doleful oh you and greg get

into my car my dear i'm just giving my

man terry here esp oh are you trying to

make me look a burger what what i'll cut

the my man crap all right no no no just

a little gambit terry don't worry about

that i have learned something that will

be of great interest to you the giza who

is with her is not in the least

romantically involved with her huh

well do i off sustains a bit of an iron

iron leave it out man looks like the

center forward for the all blacks well

they ain't exactly limp wristed i'll

give you that but they're not all

screaming queens are they

i don't miss their tasteless terrence no

i think we've captured the little lady

what you mean captured or should i say

enraptured by sheer good fortune her as

that is the lady needs help looking for

an old mutual friend and we are in a

position to render her assistance in

that direction

i could render herself

is that character for real well at 500

pounds for coat like this he's

complaining oh come off adida bloke's a

con artist who needs him greg

he's the best chance i have to find my

darling gary and to do that

i'm willing to spend quite a bit

now the thing i don't get is why i saw

it like that would get pally with an

out-and-out villain like gary mitchell

in the first place i mean the only

reason he emigrated was because there

was a warrant out for him right right is

she straight and she oh she is terrorist

she is i found that out while you were

chatting to dave at the bar

so why gary mitchell well it seems he

set up business out there all kosher and

legit she worked for him for a time

that's how he became friends

well anything's possible

i've been saving the best bit

if you don't like hotels wants a place

of our own nice nudge

yeah yeah

yeah but what about the big boner all

black apparently he's gonna be staying

with his brother

all right who's

than you think my son i rented her your

flat

[Applause]

[Music]

course you don't mind do you terry

there is one little problem like where

am i going to rest my weary well you can

keep round at your grounds you're never

at home anyway are you cool thanks a lot

pal i didn't think i mean i don't want

to close i can hardly expect terry to

clear out of his flat just so i can

nonsense my dear why pay lunatic hotel

prices no no a nice little pie detail or

should i say pie to terry

not a few bus stops from the throbbing

heart of the metropolis but 80 quid a

week it's a gift stand on me

the whole ground floor

that's the lot well you know it's kind

of a shame it's not big enough for both

of us

well actually i was thinking about that

it is really in it i mean it's only got

one bedroom but it's a big old sofa

you're sure i mean you don't mind i

don't know i don't mind you know if you

don't mind no

are we uh we anywhere near park royal

park royal yeah that's where my brother

lives

hi i'm one for all right girls i hope

you've had a good day mine's been a

right downer

of course the boys are bachelor so

tidiness is not exactly a strong point

as you can see

around here but i can vouch for the fact

that he is personally clean in himself

personally clean will you just this is

the master bedroom all right hardly

elegant but uh cozy cozy

i really appreciate this arthur least i

can do my dear we british still have a

duty to protect and assist our colonial

cousins from around the globe

you know let me show you the carsey over

the bathroom right yeah

matt could do with a trip to the

cleaners terry so one day that's

changing those sheets

now these are about the right mark

i can shift these all day for 30 or 40

quid a lamp to proper people instead of

liberty takers like offer daily

who's arthur daley don't ask me

just run through gov be fixed for

what's this then

well according to ronnie aldridge that

little duo of aussie hoisters have been

trying to trade their ill-gotten gains

to persons on this manner right that's

what it's hercules and what has that

little collection of anti-social misfits

got in common then

uh

well they're all local faces we know or

suspect of handling stolen property

precisely and those three grimwood

barber and daley frequent the winchester

club is that not so yeah that's right

they do gov who else is a member and

occasional visitor to the said

establishment

oh yeah of course ronnie aldridge

ronald austin aldridge small-time thief

and informer and given our manpower

problem who better to keep an eye on mrs

grimwood barber and daley should the

opportunity arise ah i see gov

i suppose partial sight is better than

none

do have another word in his shell-like

now

right well i'll drop greg off at his

brother's and terry will start making

enquiries as the galley's whereabouts

while you get settled down in the flat

my dear oh i thought if it's okay

perhaps i could go along with terry

why not why not no harm in having

someone minding you perhaps you could

show d1 or two of our historic landmarks

terry show her where her ancestors

hailed from

clink prison's closed didn't it no i'm

sorry love no it's a little joke maybe

it's not

oh arthur do you know where i can hire a

car anything i'll do

i just you know can't be completely

dependent on you and terry hire a car

yeah um well as a matter of fact don't

you point that finger

anything no no i sent you guys you're

about to say

what if she is anticipating staying for

an indefinite period it will be far

cheaper to buy a nice reliable little

runabout

it just so happens i know where i can

obtain the sort of vehicle she would

appreciate i bet you do

you ought to be arrested freddie two and

a half for this museum piece well they

sell offer they don't build them like

this anymore no they wouldn't dare

m.o.t tax for another couple of months

please freddie i'm a trader not a punter

i don't want to hear all that dear rodeo

look at all that pudding on themselves

i'll give you 70. 70. yep

[Music]

make it a one and it's yours

not a gift freddy not a gift but

acceptable

you get your letter take it over to

terry's place can you sure be a bit

difficult today though he's over at the

auctions first thing in the morning all

right yeah fine leave it outside with

the papers and all that right we'll do

it please freddie

[Music]

oh freddy

you knew gary mitchell didn't you used

to graft all that firm out of fulham

yeah

done a bunk to australia about five

stretch ago isn't he at least that's

what i've earned well you heard right

well apparently he's back here now you

haven't seen sighting or sound of him

have you yeah

hang on a minute

i was having a drink in a prince of

wales the other day with bobby finch he

mentioned something about him

what was it now

fingers were all a bit elephants at the

time

no but i'm sure his name was stuck up

though why don't you have a word with

bobby yeah i will right first thing in

the morning okay yeah sure yeah right

ah i tried that been all over

i hadn't seen him or anything until

should i thought we'd have wanted a gun

back in the old ipo game when he was out

of here won he that's right yeah

he was the governor impersonating the

old bill let's face it

oh thanks keith see you around mate okay

oh i thought you knew i mean that is i i

thought that arthur would have told you

no no i didn't no

poor old gary

he was never happy there i don't know my

parents hated him for some reason

then one day we had this really terrible

fight and

the next thing i knew he'd sold his

business and come back to england

said if i really wanted him i'd

come and find him

so here i am

yeah you are

it's been really great today terry you

know showing me the sights and

everything i really appreciate it

listen uh

i suppose you don't fancy a nice quiet

drink in an old english pub eh now

what's your name up there my daughter

now look dee where the hell do you come

from

australia

bleeding australia oh gold we had an

australian pianist here the other night

not a lot of good but they're pretty big

down under joe

i had to go and see the doctor the other

day he said i haven't seen you for two

years i said i know i've been ill

social security you know what i mean he

said that your nose is swollen i said

i've got seen this trouble he said no no

sinus no i said i was out with a boxer's

wife is she there's a little song here

now

now there's a little song coming up here

now it's called leave it out john

everybody in the chorus

she was young and she was free

she took a shine to me

succumbing to my stunning natural charms

and i was cool as i could be

and i very casually

choke her in my chance for mental arms

what makes you think that

the power

as she slapped my face and very loudly

said everybody now

leave it out john

leave

if

[Music]

oh

you know what i mean gary told me a lot

of stories about it

funny

such a good side was funny

and inadvertently

i let her know exactly how i feel

everybody leaving and john

leave it

it's been so nice out today so leave it

up

[Music]

you weren't webbed up with gary mitchell

terry that sounds as if you don't like

it

i'm the jealous

it's not funny

hey narva usual please dave large one

terry hasn't rung or been in has he no

arthur how's it going

ronnie

haven't seen you around here for a bit

can you ever find a bit round here not a

little uh sojourn in one of our

majesty's hotels i hope no touchwood

you staying lucky are you luck has

nothing to do with it my son it's this

you always was a bit slippery after

cheers then

well you still haven't told us what

you're doing over here oh just a little

bit of business to take care of you know

help out a friend hmm

well no one can say you weren't the best

minder we have back home

is that all

no comment

you uh do you ladies have somebody

watching your backs over here oh we

don't really need it

well you know the shops are a doddle

yeah we've got a guy who gives us a

pretty fair deal on practically anything

we get

sounds like a pretty good setup

it's a dragon's birthday next week so

i've got to make a gesture a little

present keep this sweet know what i mean

what how about packing the firelighters

now what you got in mind ronnie well i

thought a bit of clobber i was coke

preps or a bit of tom if it ain't too

pricey just wondered if you might have

anything going no i got nothing like

that in stock

how about pogo stick

keep a fit help her work off her

aggression no i don't think so arthur i

don't know why i bought the bloody

things user must have caught me on the

op

one thing she's been asking me for is a

fur coat oh

if you've been here at lunch time i

could have done you a bit of good yeah i

had a fox furred a basil brush would

change his act four but i knocked it out

of this aussie bird didn't i

oh is he bad yeah you know antipod

what's it australian lady

and what a soul

[Music]

the only problem is you might get a

feeling of pain if someone hits you over

the edge to get at it right

you know i'm really bushed

let's go down terribly if i just went

back to the flat i mean with all the

traveling the sightseeing and uh no food

i'm really how many weeks yeah

[Music]

i don't blame you tell i knew you

wouldn't go to australia well on a moped

oh there's loads of room in here

fantastic

listen terry uh

are you sure about this i mean

hospitality is one thing but letting

someone you only just met no don't be

daft i said it was all right tonight

anyway you never know if we don't find

gary my luck might change

you are sweet

don't call me that

about gary terry yeah uh

look i realize it probably sounds a bit

silly but

well if you and arthur do find him would

you mind telling me first

yeah if you want yeah you promise

yeah why

it's only a silly thing it's just that

well you know i want to surprise him

can you understand that

no

yeah i don't understand

you

england's answer to you efna leaving a

bird like that to snuggle down on her

own you must be slipping my son don't

give me all that you knew she and

mitchell were more than just good

friends uh she did say something about

an infatuation but um she's come over to

married a geezer she told me she told

you and all oh funny i must have

misunderstood bleeding hilarious in it

anyway first we've got to find him yeah

presuming he's around and that could

take a bit of time long enough for you

to maneuver yourself into her affections

yeah and long enough for you to rip her

off for a few more quid

terence i must say this i feel deeply

wounded when you make aspirations like

that

and anyway unlike you i have made some

progress in that direction well when i

was doing the deal with freddie the fly

for the tasty little motor for d and he

reckons bobby finch might know something

well finch he's got the prince of wales

yeah very saying well let's get down to

it what's the ari tomorrow i do

want to give yourself a chance don't you

they're not too keen then afraid not

love

but uh i can't really blame them

considering

however they might be able to help out

with that other item hmm

something

and what about using that place i mean i

thought that's what you intended to do

when you moved in there

i don't think we'll have any trouble

with those other two characters

made you promise yeah well i can

understand that can't you hmm all right

sound long time no see how's it going

what's it got to do with you

yeah well i'll be off now arthur i'll uh

be popping in so uh if anything comes up

nice mother right or whatever yeah

see around it

what's all that about

you ain't trading with that ponce are

you

ronnie

he's all right

i yeah from a few proper people that

he's a wrong too friendly with plodd

really

i didn't know that you ain't told him

any of your business have you

me no no no no no no you know me terry

never divulge more than is necessary

that's all right yeah

[Music]

let me understand this ronnie you say

that arthur sold a fur coat to this

australian bird that's right mr rydequat

told me so himself well say what he'd

hardly likely to be selling bank gear to

someone who's thieved it would he no no

that's true

and since we have already got these

suspect australian hoisters under

surveillance

what is the point of this ludicrous

information i just figured the aussie

connection you know

arthur's also got a remoter

what is so unusual about that daily

deals in motors well if you go in oyster

motor zandy in it

thing is ronnie the two ladies in

question already have a car

yeah that's true aldridge

you are a [ __ ] of mind-boggling

ineptitude i don't know why i'll let you

rain

you talk to him i'll go and wait in the

car and if you feel a compunction to hit

him

try to do it so as not to leave any

marks

400 for that i know it's ridiculously

underpriced for a period piece like that

and what with the demand and everything

but there you go you see being in the

trade does have his advantages

you're unbelievable

thank you

oh that's great arthur really great i

love all things just as well in it yeah

note the uh early plastic dashboard my

dear and the genuine leatherette

upholstery fabula get in get in try it

out besides comfort is a guaranteed

feature of course

yeah but isn't it too much

far too much

oh listen arthur uh do i have to get a

get it insured or anything you know

before i can drive it all taken care of

my dear i have a friend who has a nice

line in cover notes third party fire and

theft are criminally low fee and if you

just look on the seat you'll see my own

small personal contribution so that you

do not get lost in the capital of the

mother country

you're great arthur

mr wonderful wonderful i'll tell you my

dear come along bye-bye

come on i mean you must have striped her

over a monkey already but she says it's

mr wonderful it's gross gross no no

terence it's the natural forces of

supply and demand if the punter is

pleased with a price he pays it would be

perverse to place a parcel for peanuts

pillock pardon

pass

precisely

i'll manage to get it for one night i'll

take the 200 mars for your trouble it's

no skin off our nose yeah

well i'm not too happy about it i can

tell you

so where are they now

out looking for gary where do they think

you are doing some more sightseeing

shopping on mine where are we meant to

meet these girlfriends yours anyway my

son popped down by a canal

i've got it written down did you uh tell

him about me then i didn't have any

option did i but don't worry they're as

good as going okay

what do you reckon

is this it don't you think it's ace

it's a bit of a rust bucket day

dave's story saw him so he said where

just down the road what boozer spieler

club what oh just punch him in the

street seems gary's open the wine bar

there huh at least that's what he told

dave it's going to be fine by gary

mitchell apart from anything else he'd

never get a license that's what i said b

told dave he's got his brother fronting

for him brother did we had a brother i

knew he got a sister somewhere

i don't know maybe said bravo

why

it makes a change from impersonating

police doesn't

oh that balled up that's him

you're right it is terry

you know he's definitely him come on

oh no no hang about what

i made a promise didn't i well it

doesn't stop us talking to the man asked

after old times how things are going

does he do all that at the wedding

reception can't you hmm

who's got the umpteen

hey girls

steve rogers

lisa sandra

is uh is that it

yeah

[Applause]

[Music]

so

come on terry we've got four visits to

make

arthur

is it true

is it true have you found gary uh david

the club said that you'd it is true my

dear we have

oh that's fantastic

where is he westbourne grove westbourne

grove yeah it's happening in a wine bar

a wine bar apparently look i've got the

address here terrific

absolutely terrific

you didn't talk to him then no no my

dear barely mind your request and the

fact that my word is my bond we did not

i know you think i'm being sillier not

at all my dear have we not all at some

time or another been touched by love's

little mystery and romance oh you're a

real thought arthur at all you too terry

oh my pleasure

will you two be around later only you

know if i see gary and everything's okay

you know perhaps we can all have a drink

together yeah i'm busy for the rest of

the day but perhaps later at the club

all right sure great thank you ah both

of you being a privilege my dear

wonderful prophet eh

coat looks nice didn't it

as soon as the hat

don't see many of them about anymore do

you guys

the car or the blonde

he's in the loo won't be long yeah right

we're ready then we'll be soon might as

well live together

looks like they're having a day off

oh yeah

we'll uh maybe see you later girls yeah

maybe

don't forget greg not our place no sweat

have a nice day be lucky thank you bye

maybe some people don't know how to flap

in the house maybe well come on then and

let's see if we can stay with them this

time shall we

good job we call round before bobby it's

got to be better than paying brewery

price isn't it yeah but arrowland if you

can i'm expecting our rep rounder yeah

lively terry lively man's in hurry why

aren't you amber fewer easy wood that my

condition would allow

oh

it's nice to be in a moat that actually

goes for a change

[Applause]

wouldn't it be better to move the arc

over longer a bit

oh i don't think it can be done

hang on a minute i'll have another look

at the plans

well

g'day gary

hello d

naughty i'll do this never mind

you bastard

did you really think you could get away

with written me off oh wait a minute

love

the crystals dee i want what's mine you

bastard

now i think you'd better come along with

us

come on dude this is getting bloody with

shifted bomb

all right all right don't get excited

you're not the two lows terry and we're

dropping for a well-earned drink of

winchester good thank you

i'll tell you what can we stop off at my

flat i'll pick up those tapes i promise

dave yeah yeah i could do with a leak

okay sport you take a seat right there i

don't mind okay

oh christ what is it arthur and terry

we can have a nice little surprise at

that without margaret or someone sure

i do

what you do

what's this a little joke

this is no joke it's for real

oh my god

i'm sorry about this terry

we weren't expecting you back so soon

arthur what have you done to me gary me

nothing she told me you two were madly

in love i don't understand neither do i

well it's quite simple really you see

this little worm this uh friend of yours

has ripped me off for what i consider to

be at least of 50 000 of your good old

british sterling

i've come to collect

is this true gary

i missed understanding tell

misunderstanding crap

look we're working this scam together

right partners for nearly two years

then we get this really big score and

this bastard skips the country with my

share well it wasn't just the weather

getting warm down there you know

hold on are you telling me that you were

at it with him you got it what the ipo

game

woman detective sergeant rogers

detective inspector mitchell two of

sydney's finest

i have to say this my dear i made a

serious misjudgment of character about

you yes i'm sorry arthur but i'm sure

even you will understand that being

taken for a lot of money isn't a very

nice thing to do to someone i'm deeply

shocked nice girl god never mind all

that what are we going to do yeah well

before you start i'm good i have very

silly stay right where you are father

no no no hold on listen this is my gaffe

right

now i don't want all this garbage in

there i'll get enough aggro from the old

bill without getting involved in other

people's wars so you can just stick that

thing where you like it most and piss

off all of you go on we're not going

anywhere we're gonna stay right here

till we get this little bit of business

sorted out okay sport

i don't think you've got a bottle spoke

mournful been ages how's your luck don't

ask yourself can't complain can't

complain drink

did you know alcohol was a depressant

you do surprise me

dave

where you came usual yeah

don't suppose you'd be interested in a

tasty leather jacket for your old lady

would you funny you should say that

you're all right

i'll never be right again terry my

nervous system has undergone the most

terrible trauma

oh that's water you're all right

all right all right we know you're

serious what now

well that depends somewhat on the

detective inspector here

i ain't got it [ __ ] straight i've

stepped mostly in the wine but i've not

that place wouldn't be worth a quarter

of what we had even if property prices

are expensive in this city

and you running a wine bar well that's a

joke for a start i won't be running it

silent oh no no

what you might call me retirement

investment i want my share you bastard

the wine bar no not the bloody wine bite

i'm serious gary you better believe it

believe it believe it believe it oh my

god

look we must be able to work this out

now now arthur and i

we've been made to look right mugs in

this little turnout right so just do us

a favor what's it all about it's about

four hundred thousand dollars worth of

jewelry which we acquired and he

retained four

000 that was the insurance value

as well you know offer anything like

what you'd get for rookie tom

how do you manage that same old game too

find out who's got a few quid and we're

at it

or someone who tucks the odd valuables

out of the tax man's site steaming as

the old bill with a moody search warrant

and confiscate his evidence

funny thing just come through in the

word gov

a man in westbourne grove was kidnapped

at gunpoint what is funny about that

well it seems it was kidnapped by a

woman and a man with australian accents

and

well the thing is i didn't connect it

immediately but when you left me talking

to ronnie he said the australian bird

arthur sold the fur coat to he's staying

at terra mccann's flat

i can't quite work out all the

intriguing combinations we have here

cart

but i intend to another thing makes him

even more puzzling um

ronnie aldridge just rang me and he says

it's mournful maurice who's dealing with

the hoisters

sid

let me have a mobile out the front soon

as you can

you pay her gary it's the only sensible

thing to do

he's right you know

because apart from

ned kelly's intentions here

i don't see that you've got any choice

mate

because if you don't pay the lovely lady

i personally are gonna pay you to get my

meaning

all right so

but you all what don't come to know 50

grand darling in the first place they

always top up the insurance value and

that stuff was only worth what roughly

200 grand

tell her what you expect you ever wear

for that arthur

me well how would i know come on oh well

yeah i have brushed shoulders with

people in bars who have discussed such

matters of across like you're not making

out a statement to the old belt oh 60

odd grand top whack

40 which have already stuck into the

wine bar and that is fact

yes all right i'll take the 20 grand you

still got

well there's been a few incidental

expenses along the way

all i've got in red is is 15 grand

tucked under the floorboards

what i do want it coming on you ghost

take them to it no

you go and get it terry

gary and arthur can stay here

insurance so you return i'm sorry

princess you're not on terry

we all go together and i don't care

where we go and then i'll go and collect

it so what's the difference

the difference mastermind is you and

this australian iron kidnapped him at

gunpoint in broad daylight right and the

car that you swagged him off in which is

a dot on a car to be noticed he's parked

outside my flat with half the old bill

in london looking for it now we all go

well you can stay here and explain it to

them yourselves

make sense dee

the girls won't go a lot on it but

we could use their place

you know it really depresses me knocking

out quality gear like this for half of

what it's worth

morris you're a real joy to work with do

you know that

there's kind of you

[Music]

all right i'll do that take a look

around in there

he's right 15 grand

i still only got the bastards word for

it that this is all that's left

so what you're going to do stan argue

about it or get out while you're in

front

there's definitely signs she's been

staying there guv yeah

she's definitely not there now though is

she

which leaves us with one possibility

well it's been nice meeting you fellas

not as rewarding as i'd hoped but nice

yeah but what about the motor and all

the stuff that uh terry's flat sell it

arthur

well you're so good at that

and terry

i am sorry about the circumstances

if things have been different who knows

you might well have got lucky

now she tells me

see you around fellas

good day

you know we're going to heathrow mate

i think we've got a puncture gun yeah

that's not all

we had one earlier anna spares up the

creek

wow wonderful

well thanks anyway tell

and you'll both definitely get a drink

out of it that's the promise stuff it

oh until i understand

but you must come around at the opening

night me wine bar yeah yeah

i'm thinking they're calling it gems by

the way

we're out of a sucker for standing by

tonight see ya go on on your bike

what have you done certain expenses were

incurred you know

listen you this thing ain't over with

yet if it does all come on top i want to

be as uninvolved as possible you got

that

hold up

three wheels on your wagon

[Applause]

i don't feel at all well terry

get me another car round here will you

incredible you are incredible

did you really expect me to swallow that

little fairy tale i can't understand

what you mean mr icon

i understand sergeant chisholm has

nightmares about you daley

real ones well that is not going to

happen to me

you sold the lady in question the car

with which she abducted that bloody

mystery man it was an honest transaction

mr rykot one of my legitimate trades

isn't it buying and selling motors there

isn't a law against that is there there

is against flogging bent coats now that

is a gross cannon mr rycott you have no

evidence at all i sold a fur coat to

anyone none you have been listening to

malicious gossip and rumors slanderous

charges may have to be late

yeah shut up come on what

he had to let us go didn't we yeah no

choice

i think we had the right result

considering now what you're forgetting

terry is we were both genuine innocent

parties in this unfortunate incident

so we had to tell a few porkies to avoid

all the aggravation what you might call

natural justice

it's mournful

it's a very sad day for me arthur very

sad indeed never mind about that

mournful come on you're nicked i'm being

fitted off

send for my brief i'm innocent

you uh don't think mournful will declare

yeah mourful nah he's one of your own

aren't he

hey hey

you don't think uh well

morsi matilda

i do hope so

so do i

come on let's go have a nice cup of tea

[Music]