SML Movie: Catch Me If You Ken!

so guys what do you want to do today oh

dude I'm hungry yeah I could use some

nummy in my tummy well Chef Phoebe

should be done cooking dinner soon all

right guys

watch your mouth that's chicken

Jambalaya I don't see any chicken oh

that's what the nutter butters are for

you substituted nutter butters for

chicken well then shut up just eat just

eat God stop being choicy why is there a

can lid in there yeah we're not eating

this I'll eat it for five bucks Joseph

I'm not gonna pay you to get food

poisoning how about guys how about we

just drive to McDonald's but we're not

old enough to drive yeah we don't have a

license dude do we know anyone with a

license well Ken has a driver's license

well he doesn't have a driver's license

he's a dog dude he's not a dog Joseph of

course he has a driver's license how

else could it be a race car driver well

then show us a driver's license yeah

okay let me get it out of his wallet

boom read it weep Chumps oh yeah dude

that's definitely fake yeah it looks

fake Cody it's not fake it's very real

why is Ken so orange oh he had a sunburn

that day yeah I told him not to get his

driver's license photo done when he had

a sunburn but he didn't listen he just

had to drive his last name is Carson yep

and one day I'm gonna be Cody Carson and

look he's even an organ donor he can't

be

what if GI Joe needs to they just have a

plastic kidney Cody shut up wait wait it

says right here Ken was born in 1961.

that means Ken is over 60 years old yeah

but ages but a number but you're under

18 so that's wrong no no it's not wrong

because he's a he's a doll no no he's

not a dog well if he was a doll Cody it

wouldn't be weird if he was made in 1961

that's fine but if he was born in 1961

then then he's a predator no he's not a

predator he he has Benjamin Button

disease so he's basically 17. dude if he

wasn't plastic I'd be calling the cops

right now well look guys he has a

driver's license okay can he drive can

he drive did chick Thunder Hicks sign

with dynaco yes he did and Lightning

McQueen signed with rusties I watched

cars last night just a little bit of

Pixar trivia for you can Ken drive us

McDonald's no what's the point of

okay drive us well because he can't

drive at night because he has

astigmatism what what do you mean his

eyes are bad yeah he has bad eyes okay

look when God gives you washboard abs

and a perfect ass and a giant Wang he

has to take away something so Kim can't

drive to McDonald's what if we duct tape

him to the steering wheel and then you

drive the car and it looks like Ken's

driving it and we have someone with a

license at least in the car I don't know

look look Ken look just you and Ken

follow me look okay Cody I duct tape Ken

to the steering wheel so if we get

pulled over to say Ken was driving but I

don't want Ken to get in trouble well

then don't get pulled over but I don't

even really know how to drive I can't

even see over the steering wheel all you

do is press the gas pedal and then move

the steering wheel back and forth this

seems like a bad idea I want to go to

McDonald's okay put it in drive I guess

oh man Simmons I hate the night shift

I'm so tired I think I'm gonna take a

nap just wake me up if any crimes happen

all right mate I'm gonna test out the

equipment make sure it's working

properly I'm gonna start with the Lots

Simmons you turn the siren on yeah I'm

just testing out the lights to see if

they work but stop staring at the lights

it's bad for your eyes you know what

else is bad for your eyes a pencil yeah

yeah I guess that would be bad for your

eyes any sharp object is bad for your

eyes and bricks are bad for your teeth

well yeah you shouldn't chew on bricks

oh Simmons did you see that car he was

flying he wasn't flying he was driving

no I meant he was going fast come on

we're gonna get him

[Applause]

all right they pulled over look I'm

really tired I'm just gonna give him a

warning and let them go so I can go back

to my nap wait a minute before you go

aren't carrots good for your eyes I mean

that's what I've heard yeah so I can

poke myself in the eye with a carrot and

be all right no no they're not for

poking yourself in the eye symptoms for

eating well then if I eat them then it

means they're good for my mouth I'll let

you figure that out while I'm gone

what's wrong Cody I'm having a panic

attack I don't want to go to jail what

if they make me be the top that's too

much pressure I can't last that long

Cody let me get in the driver's seat and

I'll do all the talking you're gonna

screw this up no Cody trust me I know

how to talk to Cops okay excuse me sir

can I see your driver's license here you

go officer thank you

that's not you this is the guy on the

steering wheel oh he appears to be duct

taped to the steering wheel what what oh

I'm not going after him I am too tired

for this

what are you doing not going to jail

that's what I'm doing I gave him a fake

eye

McDonald's here we come no no McDonald's

take us home

our McDonald's you know I love my

nuggies dude guys we just ran from the

cops and we got away this is not my

first time running from it and we're

never gonna get caught yes we will

because they have Ken's driver's license

it's fake anyway dude yeah it's not even

real it is real another gonna come

looking for him Cody just shut up and

eat your Elemental Happy Meal I've never

even seen Elemental you guys want to go

watch it well if we're gonna go watch it

we have to go watch it now because it's

only in theaters what are you talking

about it means you can only watch it in

theaters and when it leaves theaters

they're gonna delete the file from

history dude they're never gonna release

it on DVD and they're never gonna put on

a streaming service that would be

ridiculous well no it's Pixar's plan see

they want people to run to the theaters

and watch it now and then they're going

to delete the file no no I think what

they mean is it's only in theaters for

now well then why doesn't it say only in

theaters for now why isn't it say only

in theaters for now DVD later streaming

later they can't fit all that on the box

it is plenty of space on that box dude

yeah they could have fit it right here

well look do you guys want to go see it

or not yeah let's go see it let's go

dude well guess what we can't because we

spent all of our money on McDonald's

well wait a minute wait we have Ken's

real name now so we can apply for our

credit card and Ken's name oh dude he's

perfect for this let's do it no no no no

we don't want to ruin Ken's credit he's

a perfect credit score well that means

we can get a higher credit limit and

also we can apply for loans in Ken's

name more money dude yes let's go apply

for a loans and get made no no no

all right Cody we got a credit card in

Ken's name in the 20 000 personal loan

with an 8.6 interest rate and it's a

balloon loan so the interest rate Rises

every year and they give us free

balloons but that's financially

irresponsible and you're not gonna get

any balloons well look who do we have a

credit card and twenty thousand dollars

all thanks to Ken's information guys

this is a crime because Ken Ken can't he

he can't he's well he's a doll no no

he's he's human it's just this is

identity theft because you can't take

out a loan in Ken's name well he told us

we could do it but he's cool with it

didn't no he didn't he was me the whole

time and he didn't say that well Cody

with this twenty thousand dollars we can

go see Elemental we could buy Elemental

dude yeah we could the whole theater

guys you're gonna have to pay that money

back eventually you can't have to pay

that money back but we should still

return the money look Cody no one's

going gonna stop us

the police might that who says that's

the police that might just be Pixar

asking us to go see Elemental Pixar's

not gonna go door to door asking you to

see their movie oh yes they are Cody

Pixar have you seen their last few

movies they're in their flop era hello

hey there I'm looking for a Ken Carson I

tried to pull him over earlier and he

sped off I've never seen that guy before

wait weren't you in the car with him

when he sped off oh yeah that guy he

kidnapped me and my friends and then he

dropped us off at McDonald's and then

went to Mexico what okay well would you

be willing to testify to that in court I

don't know maybe okay so you don't know

where he would be maybe Mexico but he's

definitely not on my couch upstairs okay

I'm gonna go check your couch well you

don't have a warrant so you can't come

in

um uh this house smells like weed so I'm

gonna have to come in because I have

probable cause it doesn't smell like

weed oh and also his his address is

right here on the driver's license and

that's your house so I'm coming in Cody

Cody you put my address as Ken's address

on his driver's license oh no I didn't

do that the DMV did that oh excuse me

anybody seen a Ken Carson

no oh you lying bastard he's right there

okay Mr Carson put your hands up thank

you now you're under arrest for fleeing

the police wait where did you kids get

all that money uh Lemonade Stand what

are you putting in the lemonade that you

get in that kind of money uh crack

you're putting crack in your lemonade

well no but people say it's so good it

might as well be cracked okay so they're

cracking the lemonade or not no okay

then where did you get the money okay so

look we found out that Ken has a

driver's license even though he's a doll

so he applied for a bunch of loans and

credit cards in his name because we

wanted money wait wait you applied for

loans and credit cards in his name

that's fraud well no he told us to do it

and he has no plans on paying it back so

we're gonna keep the money and he needs

to get in trouble yep yep you're

absolutely right that is his fault okay

Mr Carson you're under arrest come on

oh

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hold up I am

I am and today we'll be hearing the case

of Kenneth Carson Kenneth you have been

on quarter crimes really lately speeding

evading the police resisting

arrested bank fraud etc

etc Kenneth how do you explain yourself

you wipe that smug smile off your face

Mister you are showing No Remorse for

your actions oh sorry you're honor he

actually just got Botox in his face

that's why he can't stop smiling but

trust me he is very remorseful for the

actions he didn't do oh my name is

Kenneth I'm so remorseful for breaking

the law do I look remorseful no how do

you plead Kenneth

well

are you going to say something you have

to plead guilty not guilty my bad the

fifth something not guilty he said not

guilty your honor hmm interesting well

let me tell you where you're wrong and

why you are guilty because you handed

your driver's license to the police just

before you sped away in your car like

Fred Flintstone kicking his little feet

unless of course you're saying that

wasn't you driving the car oh please say

that I would love for you to say that

because then I could [ __ ] you every day

of the week and twice on Sunday so

please I dare you to say that no it

wasn't me driving the car oh I am so

glad you sent that because I have one

more piece of Evidence Officer guy show

him the body cam footage of you pulling

him over go ahead if everyone would look

at the screen please you can clearly see

Kenneth is driving the car he's even

duct taped to the steering wheel and

there are kids in the car so he's also

endangering children so you can probably

add some charges for that oh so close

but so [ __ ] guilty guilty guilty

you see you can't fake body cam footage

and that's clearly you driving the car

oh no I don't even have to ask you about

the bank fraud because if you would lie

about the car you'd obviously lie about

the bank fraud so once a liar always a

liar get there now usually I would give

you four years in prison but because you

lied to my face I am giving you 34 years

in prison that's right an extra 30 years

for lying I don't like liars take him

away bailiff don't like it 34 years

sorry kid he's coming with me yeah

what's wrong Cody did you get your

wiener stuck in your zipper again it

also can get 34 years in prison and it's

all because of you guys hold on hold on

is it really because of us do yeah at

some point Candace take responsibility

for his own actions well this is all

your idea no Ken was the one who got

duct taped in the steering wheel and

sped off and he was also the one to get

these loans on his name but you guys did

all that yeah and Kim could have stopped

us yep he has a voice unless he's a doll

dude no he's not at all he's just shy

see so Ken could have spoke up and he

chose not to God damn it Ken needs to

learn to stick up for himself yeah so me

and Joseph decided to split the 20 grand

10 000 each and we're gonna give you the

credit card I should get all of it

because this is all your fault and also

I need the money to pay for Ken's

commissary he's gonna need to buy a lot

of Preparation H for the ass pound he's

gonna take and Swiss Rolls again loves

his Swiss Rolls so how about you go

visit Ken in prison and find out if he

even needs the money okay he'll go see

if he's a top or a bottom all right

let's take the 20 grand and hide it

hey Ken how's prison your cellmate's not

going too rough on you Izzy Hey kid me

and you Ground Three tonight

your face on the ground

oh he's making you be the bottom lucky

oh Ken I just wish I could reach through

these bars and grab you it's not fair

it's just not fair

you escaped come on quick hey you owe me

round three guys they just broken out of

jail why would you do that Cody now

you're gonna get in trouble well he just

kind of fell through the bars and I just

grabbed him look hopefully nobody will

even notice he's missing okay and makes

lights out no more Weenies and butts at

least not with the lights on but officer

no butts or weenies in those butts I

can't put my weenie in the butt cause my

butt gone what happened to your butt hey

there wait you're telling me your

cellmate escaped where'd he go no I

gotta find him so guys what happened to

that twenty thousand dollars because we

should probably give it back to the bank

uh what happened well you see we gave

that twenty thousand dollars away well

there was these two blind kids going

door to door trying to raise money for

New Eyes yeah and it was ten thousand

dollars per eye yeah so we only had

twenty thousand so that means only one

kid got new eyes so we made them play

Rock Paper Scissors to see who got new

eyes how did they know who won well we

told them and it was a draw three times

in a row three times so they decided to

get one eye each you know an eye for an

eye that's not really relevant here but

okay yeah so we gave the twenty thousand

dollars so they both could get one eye

don't you think that's worth it well as

long as it went to a good cause you're

under arrest for helping a fugitive and

you're under arrest for being a fugitive

what's going on officer well Mr Cody

here help Mr Carson escape from jail so

now that both go into the slammer do I

at least get can't sell mate no you're

going to an all-woman's prison Junior

help me is there anything we can do

officer I don't know I'm just so pissed

off because my wife racked up twenty

thousand dollars a credit card debt so I

really need twenty thousand dollars I

would do just about anything for twenty

thousand dollars I'd probably let these

two go for twenty thousand dollars

dude do we give him the money no

we might have twenty thousand dollars

wait but what about the blind kids we

made it up but you made that up yeah

because me and Joseph wanted to buy a

soft serve ice cream machine bro

chocolate vanilla strawberry

Cosmopolitan Cody because it

Cosmopolitan guys help me

give him the money Joseph and here have

the money wow that's really nice of you

guys so I guess because you did that I

can let these two go well I have a

question for you so is this weird so Ken

was born in 1961 and he's dating a minor

okay well I can't just let that slide

get run

catch him if you can

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