Our Popcorn Movie Dystopia - SOME MORE NEWS: THE MOVIE

(techno music)

- Hey. - Yeah, yeah.

Katie, what's up with you.

- Um, not much.

I'm a cameo today. That's fun.

Heard there might be some others,

but this just in, we're already rolling Cody

so maybe it's time to do the news?

- Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

The news.

Here's some news.

Well,

there's an election coming up

in which America will decide between a 77 year old white man

who had a hand in crafting and ruling the society

that ended up electing a fascist

and a 74 year old white man who is a fascist

and openly endorsed police executions

and who's so incompetent

that a global pandemic has now killed

at least 220,000 people in America.

Also,

I forgot about the disasters of course.

I'm sorry.

Let's not forget about the continuously increasingly

more obvious increasing of the temperature of the planet

and storms and fires

and why can't there be storms during fires?

That could do it.

Somebody invent that for society which

oh yeah, here's some more news.

The end of the world.

Save the post office.

Ban

money

and that's the news.

Despair and disease and Ted Cruz and fire

et cetera

and

et cetera.

- Cody, do you not have an episode?

- Look, I don't know.

It sucks.

It farts teeth, you know?

Who's even like showering these days?

- Most people. - Well,

how special for them.

Maybe if I had somewhere to be I'd shower

or like another human being in my proximity

and perhaps a nice backdrop,

we don't even have our good backdrop.

Remember when we had like a studio and lights

and working toilets

and a single other person in the room?

- Cody, do I need to fix your toilet?

- Sure, sure. Yeah, I,

no, I'll get a plumber or

learn to plumb.

Let's I don't know watch the

the "Super Mario Brothers" movie

and wait for death

or something death like.

Death adjacent if you will.

Plumbing

adjacent.

You know what, I'm just gonna do that.

You guys can stay here if you want

and like follow along.

I don't care.

- Cody.

Cody, did you cut out?

Cody hey, can you hear me?

Cody?

All right.

I guess I'll just go get wasted.

- Can anyone hear me?

It's me.

It's your Cody.

Listen to me, it's very important.

I do not know if you can hear me.

I don't know if the device still works,

but if you can hear me,

it's extremely important that you warn the Cody

of the past of yester times,

or as my people call it the time of rooney yesterdoodles.

He is going down a dangerous path.

Tell him. Tell him for me.

Leave a comment or like and subscribe

and pass on my warning

so that

something or other.

Some kind of high stakes, right?

For the movie.

We're doing a movie folks.

This is a movie.

And I'm the only character who knows that.

And yeah, so like let's say,

let's say there's high stakes about the future I say.

And cue the music.

And look at this thing I got.

And we have cameos hopefully.

Actually let's write a line for a cameo

and see who we can get.

- Hey Braiden.

Your mom told me you had a big boy day

and you're also a big fan of my work

in "Alvin and the Chipmunks" and she wanted me to tell you

happy poopy.

Congrats on the big proud poopy you made,

and who's a big good pooper now?

Time to poop on David Cross' head

is where you're going to poop.

He won't mind because it'll just add to the poop

that his head already is.

Now that I have your attention Mr. Cross,

I am pleased to be able to express

that I did not find any of your other films or performances

quite enjoyable at all sir.

And in fact, if I were to see you at your face,

I would say to you, "More like David Cross the street

and get hit by a bus."

Good day to you but not really of course,

because how dare you

and that is all I have to say about the matter,

except for I David Cross superior

agreed to appear in the some more news movie.

Cody showed his rules no take backs.

What the fuck?

- So yeah, maybe a little bit of music,

a limited of special effects,

maybe another cameo or two in the mix.

You'll have to watch to find out.

Like and subscribe and save the future

or don't and subscribe and like and enjoy whatever this is

once the static takes me.

(tense music)

He's still watching the "Super Mario Brothers" movie.

I think I'm too late to stop him

from going down the dark path.

Well, guess I'll have to help him along instead

by sending this cool device back through time.

A thing only I can do.

Only once.

And it's never explained

to the point that it sometimes becomes frustrating

that nobody ever suggests somebody does it again.

Anyway, now that I've done that

oh no, the static is back.

Oh good, you're still here.

I thought you'd leave,

but all right you called my bluff.

So I guess we're going to talk about

the 1993 "Super Mario Brothers" movie

that we all know and love.

And maybe try to make it about the news or something Paul.

Can I call you Paul?

Anyway, Paul,

let's talk about this Bob Hoskins classic

and not like

all those other looming and terrible things.

Okay, can you just

can you give me this?

Okay. Consider it a day off.

So here's what the film "Super Mario Brothers",

a film we all know and love, is about.

- [Narrator] A long long time ago,

the earth was ruled by dinosaurs.

They were mean so not a lot of people-

- Okay, that's not helpful actually.

So we got our plumber heroes, Mario Mario and Luigi Mario,

the Mario brothers,

being plumbers in New York.

Getting their plumbing gigs like

scooped from them

because that's how plumbing works

where you call two different plumbers

and have them race to the job.

And then they meet Daisy,

an NYU archeology student who never had parents

and that makes Luigi super hard.

He is super hard for orphans.

Then her archeological site gets sabotaged

by the sinister Scapelli Construction,

whose owner, Anthony Scapelli,

has been trying to halt her dig

so that his company can continue their work.

Classic Mario stuff.

But then Daisy gets kidnapped by the villain from "Hackers"

and the guy who stole Ferris Bueller's best friend's

dad's car

and Mario Mario and Luigi Mario soon discover

that Daisy has been dragged into an alternate dimension

where dinosaurs have evolved instead of apes.

And adventure.

You know the film.

You know the plot.

We've all seen the classic award deserving

"Super Mario Brothers" many times.

And how then Mario Mario and Luigi Mario

enter a dystopian version of Manhattan

where the rest of the world has dried into a desert

and citizens live in a sort of oppressive fascist state

as demonstrated when Mojo Nixon

is black baged off the street for playing music in protest.

- Hey guys.

Cheer up.

♪ Aint got no water anywhere ♪

♪ Food's bad, close your hand ♪

♪ Got no resources ♪

♪ Cause of the great big stoopa ♪

♪ All because of the evil King Koopa ♪

- You know the law Toad.

- Hey wait a minute.

You can't arrest the guy for just singing a song.

- Classic Mario folks.

We love it.

We love Mario.

So Mario Mario and Luigi Mario

go to jail for interfering with the arrest

where they are promptly mock executed

before being thrown into a literal cage.

(guns cocking)

- What's that?

Oh my God.

Oh no.

Oh no.

(cameras flash)

- You know that level.

The mock execution level of Mario.

This is when they meet King Koopa,

the ruthless leader played by Dennis Hopper

with the ridiculous haircuts.

- Boys, boys.

Sit down.

How is prison?

- Ah yeah,

look at that germaphobe.

Just

a fascist leader with the hair who hates germs.

That's right, it's him.

We can't escape him.

I tried.

Even in the classic and beloved

"Super Mario Brothers" movie,

this fucking president of a country,

this country somehow,

the villain in the movie

who also happens to be super creepy with the ladies.

- So clean.

Don't fight it.

You know you've always been uncomfortable

in the human world.

I always suspected that you were

- A real Biff Tannen type

who was also specifically based off of Donald Trump,

the villain we all knew about.

Hanging out in a golden apartment

to top his weird tower with his name on it.

He's the only person who does that.

And we all for decades agreed that it was gross and stupid.

And that he's just some rich prick

screwing over the little guy,

the worst parts of America

and people.

Like a guy accused of sexual assault by tens of women

and bragging about how he just grabs women

because he thinks they let him

and who,

according to a sworn deposition by his ex wife,

got botched hair plugs by a doctor recommended

by his then wife

and then pulled chunks of hair from her scalp

and violently forced her to let him have sex with her.

Years later,

she would say that she wouldn't describe it as "rape"

in a legal sense,

but everything she described is what happened.

In his golden lizard tower with his name on it.

- And you know what they say

about little girls, don't you?

- And since he's been threatening to run for office

since the 80s,

writers always considered the bleak possibility

that he'd someday have political power.

Though at the time it was a prediction

they thought was as unlikely as say oh

the Cubs winning the World series in 2015

or failing that just a year later.

You know how a lot of movies and TV from this time

might accidentally predict things in the future?

People used to write about that in like

like list form for the internet.

I wouldn't know anything about that,

but like 10 totally dick slapping bad-ass things

movies got right about the equally dick slapping future.

And they have "Star" and transparent aluminum on there,

or how "Virtuosity" correctly predicted

that Russell Crowe is deeply frightening.

And none of that is necessarily prophetic.

A lot of the inventions are based on sci-fi.

It's a feedback loop where writers and artists

pull from where we are at the time

and use that to optimistically or quite often cynically

predict where we will go from there.

Mostly cynically.

I think the only bright future film of recent

is that "Tomorrowland" movie

that I and you did not see and will never see.

But it's what sci-fi and dystopian fiction do.

They predict and inspire people

and so on and so on and so on

and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on

until we all eventually die

from dragons probably.

Also hopefully.

Or at least the part where we're on fire.

We're all thinking about it, right?

Maybe it's not dragons and only maybe,

but it's something, surely.

It feels like the predictions for movies

that are coming true or all the bleak ones,

the conditions that make it easy

to stick a bunch of drone footage

of the San Francisco skyline

to the "Blade Runner" theme.

And the most obvious authoritarian con man

crank dystopian game show host president imaginable.

A man that movies and TV shows and comic books

have been warning us about for decades.

Because really he's everywhere.

In "Batman Returns",

Christopher Walken plays Max Schreck,

a funny haired businessman with a dumb ass son named Chip.

When the movie came out,

people immediately assumed it was a Trump parody

because Trump was the villain then.

Just like how he's the villain

in the internationally beloved film,

"Super Mario Brothers" movie

and not just as Koopa,

but that Scapelli guy at the beginning too.

He's both villains in the "Super Mario Brothers" movie.

That's just how we saw him.

In 1989, the same year the first "Batman" came out,

DC Comics published an unauthorized biography of Lex Luther.

The cartoon villain.

In 1989.

And this was the cover.

Because look, it's like that real life villain

that we all know

and agreed as a society

that they were indeed a bad person.

Since the 80s, Donald Trump.

You can't escape him.

You try to wind down with like "Gremlins 2", as we all do,

and bam!

There's Daniel Clamp,

the evil real estate developer,

who was 100% based on Trump.

Is he in "Bill & Ted"?

Paul, did he ruin "Bill & Ted"?

I don't

I don't think so.

So thank God for that.

But man,

this knowledge

really soils some classics.

Remember "Time Cop"?

Classic, amazing film "Time Cop".

I'm fairly certain the villain there's like Trump-like,

I'm gonna check real quick.

No. Don't watch the "Time Cop".

Oh.

"Time Cop".

All right.

So yeah, bigly Trump stuff in that film.

"Time Cop's" villain is Senator McComb played by Ron Silver,

who is attempting to use the film's time machine

to better his political career.

McComb alters time by meeting his younger self

and becomes the front runner candidate

for president of the United Timecop States of Time Cop.

But he's not very good Paul.

And Jean-Claude stops him with splits

and some hardcore softcore sex scenes

that can only be found on PornHub.

And naturally, McComb ends up getting his past self

thrown into his future self

thus morphing him into congeal demon cum.

(McComb screams)

As theorized by Einstein.

Classic time-travel.

And while McComb doesn't look like Trump or anything,

and you might feel like you're safe,

he's not nearly as on the nose as King Koopa,

he does say a lot of hair-raising lines.

- Elections are won with television.

You don't need the press,

you don't need endorsements,

you don't even need the truth,

you need money.

So tell me

how much is it going to cost to buy the network time I need?

- Hey, stop eating nuts during a movie scene Ron.

So McComb is established as an anti-immigration rich guy

who doesn't need the mainstream media

to help him win the election.

Also,

- The country's going down the drain

because of the special interests.

We need someone in the white house who is so rich,

doesn't have to listen to anybody.

- [Woman] What's that?

- The senator was having a fundraiser.

- When I'm in office,

it's going to be like the 80s again.

- Gonna to be like the 80s again.

We just need a guy so rich that he can't be bought.

We just got to stop these

what'd he say?

- A number of these reforms

that I will outline tonight

will be opposed by some of our nation's most powerful

special interests.

- Yes. Thank you.

Very interesting "Time Cop".

Anything else?

- [Announcer] The white supremacist party

has qualified for matching funds,

sparking many groups who petitioned for the abolition

of the matching funds practice.

- Oh yeah perfect.

Perfect film

about a total fantasy world where white supremacists

embed themselves in politics

and the president is a rich anti-immigration sleaze.

But hey, it's like they always say.

- Maybe he'll calm down after the election.

- "Time cop".

A now incredibly depressing film.

Thank you world, I really needed that sack tap of tragedy.

What is this?

Some sort of news?

Nah, that ain't news.

It's just stupid trash.

It looks unimportant,

but I'm still gonna leave it here.

Lean it on the side of the computer.

Like a mounted rifle that may be of use later

but that I doubt will be.

So it's interesting

though not fascinating,

that in this "Time Cop" future,

everything is a tad bit more fascist,

much like Super Mario.

You know how in that Koopa police state,

Mario Mario and Luigi Mario

assault several police officers,

steal a cop car

and go on to lead an anti-fascist resistance

against the oppressive empire

eventually assassinating the leader

after infiltrating his skyscraper

also known as goddamn Koopa Tower?

Jesus.

(explosion)

Classic Super Mario stuff.

Stealing cop cars,

starting fires.

Mario labeled a terrorist in an authoritarian state.

Man I hope you watched it when I did,

if it's available,

which it is not.

It is not in high demand.

It's not very good.

We love it.

It's great, or it's fine.

It's whatever.

It's a popcorn movie with a hidden dystopian message in it.

And that's probably because it was made

by the creators of "Max Headroom"

before the studio got an outside writer

to rewrite the script

sometimes on the day of shooting.

Now if you don't know because you're not cool,

Max Headroom was a fake talking head character

that hosted a music video show

and a short lived talk show,

a movie,

various media appearances.

And at one point advertised new Coke, America's real choice.

Ironically,

Max was a sort of parable

for the rejection of soulless corporate media,

despite also kind of being that.

Anyway, Headroom had that cyber punk cool 80s MTV aesthetic

shared by a Bill and or a Ted adventure

or kind of aped in "MegaRace",

a game you just remembered existed.

You're welcome.

His origin is that of a reporter

for the sinister Network 23,

who discovers that their new subliminal advertising

is literally exploding people,

but the boardroom decides

this is an acceptable risk

on account of the fact that it only affects undesirables.

- My God.

- Look here, the only people who are that inactive

are pensioners, the sick or the unemployed.

- Probably nothing relevant from the past or present

about corporations hiding information from the public

that they are killing people.

But anyway,

when the reporter tries to leak this information,

he is incapacitated

and his consciousness is put into a computer,

inadvertently turning into the host of a rebel news station

all while making a pretty accurate prediction

about Deepfakes and the internet in general.

- Soon I'll be able to reconstruct anybody on a screen,

even you Mr. Mala.

So accurately that even your own mum would know it was you.

This is the future.

People translate it as data.

- Max, while funny, was a sinister character

turning from friendly TV face

to the darkness of society on a dime.

♪ Sometimes they wish that they were still children ♪

♪ Little gifts from God, oh children ♪

♪ Please don't think I'm hard about children ♪

♪ Because I'm not the kind who'd ever say kill them ♪

♪ I don't know anyone who would think to kill them ♪

Though originally produced in Britain,

Max was specifically written to be an American.

Hyper-masculine, Aryan, rude news dude,

not the good kind of news dude,

a satire of the worst of media personalities.

And just one more thing the regular news

became a self-parody of.

- Well just tell them to move!

- Fuck it!

Do it live!

- I bring this all up just because

that's why the children's movie "Super Mario Brothers"

is like this.

They nailed it

and then came up with Koopa,

another Aryan American rude and rich jerk,

which just so happened to make him

exactly like Donald Trump.

A copy of a copy of a satire of evil behavior

with a mother that looks suspiciously like

Koopa's wife/servant in the film

in a world that's clearly doing a climate change.

- A few miserable streets

and endless desert.

- And so they've resorted to a fascist police state

filled with "Koopa Can't Lose" posters

and a lizard eat lizard culture

where everyone is armed and angry.

And the film knows all of this

and people regularly call it out.

- This is a violation of civil liberties.

- I'm a ruthless dictator.

- Oppressor of the proletariat.

- It's pretty real man.

This film has a surprising amount to say about fascism,

our crises,

our culture,

our future,

at least enough to feel the 20 minute episode

I plan on this video being.

It even has a fungus that in the film

is treated like a pandemic.

- The fungus is choking the city.

- It kind of burns that this kid's movie from the 90s

aimed at depicting the most cartoonish

and obvious forms of evil

is depressingly relevant to today's America.

Like remember that clip of Mojo Nixon

getting arrested for playing music?

It may have seemed like a really on the nose

over-exaggeration of a fascist police state, right?

And then you remember

that something like this literally just happened

when the police stormed a peaceful violin vigil

for Elijah McClain.

(violin music)

Classic Mario stuff.

Great movie.

Everyone loves that Mario brothers movie

with all the fascism and 9/11 imagery.

"Mario", "Time Cop",

it's all the same apparently.

I should

I should probably watch more movies

because what else is there to do honestly?

We're just waiting for death anyhow.

Let's pop in some bullshit while we do that.

Wait. Stop little Cody.

What is that?

It is I,

you from the future.

Who are you?

I've just identified myself as you from the future.

Just a moment ago.

Yeah. Nice lie Paul.

How do I know you're really me?

I'm clearly you.

Like a you, but all gray and stuff.

Really obviously just you.

I don't know.

Okay, let's reset.

Listen, I guess it doesn't matter who I am,

even though I'm clearly you

and it's weird you're not getting that,

but whoever I am,

I'm here to warn you about grave mistakes

of your past and future.

You are going down a dangerous road little me.

But never fear,

I have provided you with the means to change

your and my past.

You mean this little chode of a device I found?

Yes. That's the one.

That little chode.

I'll need you to follow my exact instructions.

If you plug it into your USB drive,

the device will communicate with your modem,

taking the hardware

and compressing it into a single digital form.

That form will then travel at great speeds

towards the space time barrier,

bending matter and jumping backwards in time.

Enabling you to communicate with your past self.

I call it Facetime.

TM.

CR.

See, the device works with multi verses

so you can change your past freely

without damaging the timeline.

As opposed to the Bootstrap or Predestination,

or as we scientists call it

the Bill & Ted paradox scenario where history is inevitable.

Right now, I have it set to Time Cop on the side here.

That means we can only go back in time.

And every time I go back,

it creates a new universe

and then moves our consciousnesses

over to it

junking the previous universe.

It's why I can't remember us having this conversation

from 2020,

because I'm technically creating your brand new timeline

just this moment.

I birthed you.

Like a God would.

Exciting stuff. Thanks.

I made a picture if you'd like to see it.

No, I'm good.

Well anyhoos, I also have a Bill & Ted setting

on the side here,

if you want to use it,

but it's very dangerous to switch over

while you're time-traveling

because it will collapse into a Predestination timeline

where all the multi-verses happen at once.

Very dangerous.

And important for you to know.

I'm sure it won't come up,

but I need you to have heard that.

Yeah yeah yeah.

I remember junk it's cool.

It is cool.

In my time,

two years from yours,

it's basic science.

You don't have to talk so much.

Anyway I'm not-

Two years?

Anyway, you enjoy dicking that device

but I got a show to do,

and you're kind of sucking the air out of the room.

It's not called "Some Old News with oldie Johnston".

Don't you understand?

You could be like Ron Silver.

Like in the pictures?

You mean it?

Nope. Christ!

Like go back in time and tell yourself stuff.

Like what I'm doing now.

I'm calling you to adventure through time

though

it seems like you're going to refuse that call.

Enough of your wild ideas old man.

What even would I use it for?

To give my past self a time device like you?

No, I think I've got more to say on "Super Mario Brothers"

and "Time Cop",

because I have a lot of thoughts.

Oh.

It's just

it's infuriating

that we're living in the absolute worst timeline

imagined by screenwriters.

Stuck inside with all the smoke and virus we can eat.

Ain't it like a bummer?

It feels surreal and also

fuck!

Look at this place.

Is this is fucking Apocalypse Bunker News?

Do you even remember what it looked like

when I started this show?

It's been uhhhhhh...

rough.

Remember when I used to joke about me going over the edge?

Well here I am, lord of the edge.

I don't even have my goddamn nice backdrop.

I should have left it at home before the pandemic.

Wish I could go back

I got it.

I'll use the time device

that useless old gross stranger gave to me.

My name is Cody.

I mean it's like ring ring adventure on line one.

Yes, I will accept all charges.

Thank you very much.

Okay, so I'm just going to take I guess what

and I'll just one of these.

Wait! I have some very specific instructions for you

or else you'll kill everyone.

(machine whirring)

Yes, I am so into Googling

this upcoming "Gods of Egypt" film

and listening to Psy or something

because it's 2015 is the point

and I am very excited about "Gods of Egypt".

(doorbell rings)

What the heck-oh-gee is Zoom?

Why is it on my computer?

No, Cody stop.

Don't eat that sandwich.

I'm not eating a sandwich.

Okay, well

stay away from any sandwiches for a while.

Trust me. I'm from the future.

I'm you from the future.

Are you turning into a werewolf?

Just shut up. Shut the fuck up for once in your life

you absolute fucking air suck.

Shut your harping maw and focus your sponge brain

on what I have to say.

Listen, in 2016,

Donald Trump will be elected president of the United States.

And it'll be just a very weird bummer.

A real wait, what?

Boo-hoo wah-wah for everyone.

Even people who think they're happy about it.

And there will be a pandemic that he'll completely whiff.

And then no one will be able to go outside

for a really long time.

So I need you to get a pen and write something down for me.

Okay stain right down,

dear much better Cody of February 2020,

Corona virus will get worse

and as you know,

the president, not so good.

So don't forget to bring home your good video backdrop

from the studio.

You get all that?

Yeah.

What do I do with this?

Keep it on the fridge or something.

Use your fucking brain man.

Okay, thanks.

See you never.

Oh also invest in Tesla.

He's gone. Oh, well

come on, eat me raw time travel.

No!

What?

It worked.

That gleaming fuck face finally did something right.

Oh I couldn't stop it.

I couldn't stop it.

(Oldie Cody screams)

Ow! Owie! Ow! Owie!

Oh shit.

That old man died.

I'm starting to suspect

that it might've been me from the future.

That's

that's probably bad.

I don't understand.

All I did was get my old backdrop back.

I did it for him, for us.

And this is how he thanks me by not existing?

I mean, come on.

Who's the asshole here, huh?

It looks great.

I wonder if there's other things I can fix.

(machine whirring)

I'm back slut brain.

Why are you so mean to me?

Listen, shut up.

I have another idea, all right?

Remember how I said that Trump is president

and everything is bad right now?

Yeah, it was a rather shocking detail

you just kind of breezed past.

Well I need you to shut up

and stop Trump from winning the election

by just tweeting as hard as you can about it.

Tweet like there's no goddamn tomorrow.

Can you do that?

Hold on.

If he's as bad as you say he is

as bad as Trump would obviously be

because he's you know,

well, I mean, why can't the Democrats just impeach him?

Cody.

I really need you to not ask shitty questions right now.

Hey, how does this new "Star Wars" movies turn out?

I'm so excited to see how that ends.

We can't

this can't be about "Star Wars".

I'm sorry.

I have a lot to say about that

and I'd love to but okay,

so here are my top 10 issues with

no, I can't. I'm sorry.

Did you hear what I said about the tweeting about Trump?

Yeah. He becomes the president of a country,

this country.

How does that even happen?

This is like an "Idiocracy" thing.

Did we just get dumber?

I mean, well

in "Idiocracy" they actually listened to the expert

about the water shortage.

So I guess

we're worse than that,

but also not really because that movie

has a weird eugenics vibe in it

that laments rich smarties not being able to breed

while the poor dumb dumbs pop them out.

But it is kind of like "Idiocracy" in that

if you ignore the opening narration and the conclusion,

the problem wasn't actually about low intelligence,

but their cruelty and boredom.

- [TV] Next on the violence channel,

an all new "Ow! My balls!"

- Look it's complicated

and you're not worth explaining it to.

All you need to know is that Twitter and Trump

have basically made everyone both dumber and meaner.

You know what movie that kind of reminds me of?

Is it the "Super Mario Brothers" movie.

The "Super Mario Brothers" movie

and how they have that machine right?

It de-evolves people

causing them to blindly follow the fascist regime

or turn into a fungus,

stuff like that.

But it's really the cruelty that matters

more than the intelligence.

Even when de-evolved, Mojo Nixon's goomba,

he just wants to help.

The fungus still trying to help.

But when other fascist followers

are evolved with the same machine,

they just end up asking questions

and being nice to each other.

Finding holes and the regime's illogic.

Right. It's saying that blind cruelty

can be fixed with providing information and community,

but going the other way with it,

people are still worth saving.

Unless they de-evolve into a T-Rex like Koopa did,

then they're just dicks I guess.

It's not a perfect analogy or is it?

Also remember how the two lackeys in this scenario

also happened to be Koopa's cousins?

As in family members

that he is getting positions of power to?

You wouldn't know but that's very Trump.

He gives positions to his family,

friends, supporters,

people like Steve Mnunchin who,

despite conservatives claiming to hate Hollywood elites

is one of those things.

Who?

You will find out.

It's just kind of funny how a lot of these right wing folks

yell at Hollywood while also aspiring to be a part of it.

Like Trump gets over $100,000 a year

from SAG pension checks.

And of course there's people like Ben Shapiro

and his failed TV pilot.

Who?

I want your life so bad.

Doesn't matter.

Well kind of matters.

But one thing that is very much like "Idiocracy"

is the showman aspect to Trump.

Our WWE president.

He was a reality TV host

and his real base is like the audience of a game show.

Like in "The Running Man",

how the president actually has an agent.

- He's still at large.

- Yeah. Well, they'll get him for me.

Cadres can have it both ways.

They want ratings, I can get 10 points for his biceps alone.

Hello.

Yeah, this is Kellian.

Get me the justice department entertainment division.

No hold that.

Operator,

get me the president's agent.

- Yes, how outlandish for the president

to have a talent agent

they once said.

A game show host and his elderly supporters

cheering on with cruel glee at protests

and journalists being met with police aggression.

Fox News celebrating protesters getting hit by cars,

boomer Twitter,

everything James Woods says.

Not to mention the protest over food and a lack of it

is something we might see on the horizon

as food banks are now being overwhelmed

and also climate change.

And the guy leading the horror is a reality TV star

obsessed with ratings

while people literally die on his watch.

A thing that is kind of happening now,

but with less aerobic dancing,

but not much less.

- It's just an idea that you say,

okay let's assume this is happening.

Let's assume there's an economic disaster in a future time,

let's say 2013 or 19 or whenever it happened

and the networks are competing

against each other for ratings,

the government is involved and they are actually

paying the networks

in order to keep the people away from the streets,

from rioting and keep them glued to the TV set.

And everyone is hooked together.

Government, network and dictatorship and economic disaster.

- These movies looked at whatever the worst of their era was

and thought,

"Wouldn't it be a bummer if our future cultivated

the darkest ideology of today?"

And then produced something vaguely Trumpian,

because, and I really can't stress this enough,

a lot of the villains of this time

were based around specifically Donald Trump specifically.

Why are you talking to me like you've already told me that?

But yeah, even "Sesame Street" had a Muppet character

named Donald Grump,

who's regularly appeared on the show since the late 1980s.

His plot line being that he was a greedy slum lord

who tries to take over Oscar The Grouch's trashcan

and replace it with Grump Tower.

- This is Grump Tower,

the first Grouch apartment building in the world.

Isn't it Tony?

- No, he traded his trashcan spot for this hunk of junk.

- That's right.

And I can't tell you how happy I am about it.

I mean, just look,

I've got Grouches living all around me here.

Hey Ronald,

this is Ronald Grump.

He is my neighbor and the Grouch who built this place.

- Crap.

- Of course, because they knew.

They all knew.

Yeah. They knew that if you needed to teach children

the baseline version of why greed is bad,

all you have to do is show them Donald Trump.

Everybody knew it was a joke.

We all know about Trump,

the cartoonishly evil guy.

Let's get Joe Pesci to play him.

(Elmo talking indistinctly)

(audience laughs)

Big laugh as Trump spits on Elmo,

which in fairness we all kind of want to do, right?

I mean look at him.

Mediocre felt trash,

but of course it's just a parody folks.

The real Donald Trump would never spit on a child.

(Trump talking indistinctly)

Oh no there he is.

Spitting on a child extra

in the outtakes to the "Little Rascals" movie.

Did you catch that?

Let's watch it again, it is amazing.

(Trump talking indistinctly)

That's not a scene from the movie that he's acting out.

It's an outtake where,

after he was supposed to eat popcorn during the scene,

well, then, in an outtake, he spat it out.

And if you look down at what he spat it on, it's a child.

See the bit in the scene was that he, a billionaire,

was stealing a nearby woman's popcorn.

Because he's a bad person.

You get it?

Then in an outtake,

when the scene was over,

he went ahead and spat on a child.

He spat on a child.

Spat right on a child.

The guy that apparently will be the future president?

(Trump talking indistinctly)

Yeah man. That's why you got to tweet.

Don't forget to tweet.

It's on you now.

I swear I will tweet as hard as I can.

Rock hard.

You fucking better.

Now get going your little scamp.

I can take it from here.

Go play Bloodborne or whatever you losers do in 2015.

Maybe I'll go to the bank.

Yeah don't forget to wear a mask.

What?

Just wear a fucking mask, okay?

Sure.

Love you.

Love you too.

Oh, wait also by stock in Tesla.

Damn, he's gone. Whatever.

So that "Little Rascals" clip

is the second half of the joke by the way.

Which I guess is called a punchline.

The joke that Donald Trump is a villain,

that we were all making in the 80s and 90s,

was a joke that Trump was in on.

He's a wrestling heel, like literally one.

I mean, technically he was the face but come on,

it's part of why his supporters like him.

Their ruthless, troll President.

Not really getting stuff done, but like

telling it like it is.

Pissing people off.

Grabbin' them pussies.

We love it.

It's part of that whole resentment towards experts

and the elite,

the weird fantasy

that Trump is like the Bugs Bunny to the Left's Elmer Fudd.

If Bugs Bunny was actually Montana Max.

Because he's not any of those things.

He's the humorless version of a comedian.

The dumb guy's smart guy.

He had a cameo, along with fucking Anthony Scaramucci,

in the Wall Street sequel.

A film about

greed.

- Hey,

is this the one and only Gordon Gecko?

- Hey Donald.

What are you talking about? You're the one and only.

- So now I've got competition.

It's a great place to get a haircut.

- I love this place.

Been coming here since the 80s.

- Well, the 80s are no longer Gordo.

The world is a tough place.

- Oh right. And I forgot to mention

he's a terrible terrible actor.

Not that that really matters.

And also the scene was cut

and also Donald Trump made ridiculous demands

on exactly which angles and lighting

he was to be filmed with.

So I guess we just watched the

him looking good version.

Also he forces filmmakers to put them in their movies

if they film on his property,

which is probably why he shows up in "Home Alone 2".

Because again, he sucks.

Although it's important to be fair and balanced TM c.r.

So it's time to check in with our "Met Trump

on the Set of Home Alone 2" correspondent,

the star of "Home Alone 1",

MacCaulay Culkin.

- Hey is this the guy who keeps on sending me

the fake Cameo requests?

How did you get this number? Was it Skeeter?

Did Skeeter give you this number?

I don't know why I answered this.

Look, this is harassment,

and I'm gonna have to call the cops-

- Yep, thanks. Anyway, he's the villain.

Trump is literally the orange man who is bad,

from the TV.

That's his thing.

He had a reality TV show that ran for 15 seasons

where his bit was to cold-heartedly fire people

from their jobs

and then we made him the President

of a country.

Our country.

Where making sure people have jobs

is something he would then be in charge of.

So when people talk about Trump Derangement Syndrome

as like a thing Liberals have,

what they're usually describing

is a generation of people raised with the common knowledge

that Donald Trump is a bad man,

who should not be trusted.

And then that generation watched their friends and family

happily elect him,

either as a welcome destructive force

or as a guy they liked and agreed with.

It's like

you know that Mitchell and Webb sketch that became a meme

where the obvious Nazi bad guy with the skull on his hat

is all like "Are we the baddies?"

Look it up, it's a great bit.

And it keeps coming up for a reason.

Because while, sure, Hollywood is left leaning,

but it wasn't always that way.

And since they ultimately just love money,

the stories they've told are very basic morality tales.

Nazis are bad,

a wolf in sheep's clothing,

sleds,

good versus evil,

man versus wild,

detective and genetically enhanced talking dinosaur

versus mad scientist

and so on.

And in these morality tales,

the villains are very often authoritarian,

anger-driven, spiteful, petty, rude,

dimwitted, dishonest, the obviously greedy people in power.

The lowest of hanging fruit for writers

to quickly convey that a person or persons is bad.

To be defeated.

Which, as I already pointed out too many times by now,

was quite often literally just a version of Donald Trump.

Obvious grifter, our living Banksy painting of a president.

It's not complicated unless you make it.

So how do the people defending Trump not get that?

How do they not have a Mitchell and Webb moment

where they look at all the obvious signs

and face the fact that they just might be the baddies?

They do it one of two fun ways.

The first is to label these very basic morality tales

as "propaganda" from the Left.

Sesame Street, for example, has been around for 50 years.

And in all that time has taught kids very basic morality,

one of which being diversity and civil rights.

The sets are literally based off of Harlem

and the show conceived to have a multicultural cast.

And for most of that 50 years

we just accepted that as non-partisan values.

Barbara Bush would show up to read stories,

as did her daughter-in-law,

as did her war criminal husband.

But now this is apparently dangerous propaganda,

according to one very smart boy.

And you gotta think what these goons would be tweeting out

back when Mister Rogers used his show

to take a stand against segregated pools.

What a dark world they must live in

when Big Bird is seen as the political enemy.

It just

it must be isolating.

For someone like Ted Cruz,

supporter of the sex-pest president

and hater of masked vigilantes who do property damage

and combat the police

to suddenly feel betrayed by "The Princess Bride",

a movie that was always about a sex-pest leader

taken down by a masked vigilante.

Where does he think he fits in with that story?

It's enough to make a person kind of resentful.

Libs owned popular culture,

and so they really wanna own the libs.

Trump's good to a lot of them, because of spite.

He's payback.

The other and more hilarious method of denial

of what art is about,

is to either pretend to or actually misunderstand

what these films are trying to say.

And then insist that these films and stories are actually

about the things they dislike.

- The story

I'm not gonna bury the lead on this one

because I think it's hilarious.

Unmarked vehicles pull up,

feds jump out and then walk up to Antifa

and just snatch him up gone.

And you know what?

It's funny to think,

because I'm thinking about like when I was a kid,

like when I was younger watching "V for Vendetta"

or any of these movies,

you'd imagine that anybody carrying out

these governmental black baggings for the bad guys.

- [Man] That's a good point.

- No, not here.

- Oh yeah. Do it, Tim.

See, the trick is simple if you're stupid.

You simply look at the villain of a movie,

blank out literally everything that comes out of their mouth

and then conclude that they are exactly like

whatever type of person you don't like in real life.

- The example I always give on this is that

you watch "The Avengers" right?

"The Avengers" movies watch on them.

So, Thanos basically was Bernie.

Thanos was a socialist.

He thought, all right,

there's finite resources in the universe,

but what did he have to do to keep the whole thing going?

He was gonna have to kill half of the living creatures

in the universe.

And that's why socialists kill so many people.

- I believe that less suffering is better

and that I am willing to-

- I will tell you something you won't like to hear though.

- I'm willing to share if that's the outcome.

- But I'll tell you something you're not gonna wanna hear.

And I admit it's

I'll call it dickish.

Utilitarianism is most typically the villain in most movies.

- I don't care.

- Yeah. So, for instance

like Thanos was utilitarian

and Captain America was deontological.

So Thanos willing to reduce the suffering by killing

hundreds of trillions versus the

thousands of trillions, which would be living better off.

It's like comic book movies.

- So, a few things here.

First of all, Thanos isn't like anyone.

Not on the left or the right.

He's an eco-terrorist with a magic glove

that killed half the universe.

Eco-socialists have very specific

and easily Googleable policies that don't include genocide.

And Utilitarians believe in making decisions

that minimize harm for the greater good,

which also isn't genocide.

Also

- Utilitarianism is typically the villain in most movies.

- Wow yes,

all those utilitarian villains in superhero films

such as with Marvel, the six evil businessmen

trying to steal technology,

several monster gods trying to assimilate the universe,

a handful of people trying to get revenge,

and one demonic Nazi.

Doomsday, Steppenwolf, the God of War, Ares.

Clearly all evil utilitarians,

just making decisions off of maximizing good things

and limiting bad things.

A reduction of harm,

that's what I think of when I look at the fucking Riddler.

Good fucking god how do these people watch movies?

Is it like a fugue state

where every villainous character

dissolves into a Ben Garrison drawing of AOC?

What Seussian contraptions lead from their sensory cavities

to the reasoning part of their rattling, hamster brains?

Is there some kind of magic wand

that will make me forget they ever existed?

Kinda makes you wonder what the older "Robo"

and "TimeCop" watching generation

think the message of these films are.

The people who probably voted for Trump,

or are literally Donald Trump,

who in 1997 described "Bloodsport" as

"An incredible, fantastic movie."

Do they see Doogie Howser in his Nazi uniform

and think "Oh how stylish!

What a fun action romp I'm having!"

It just must be a real bummer

to make films like "RoboCop" or "Starship Troopers"

or "Total Recall" and then watch the messages

go completely over their heads Paul Verhoeven,

who I've been talking directly to this entire time.

Also my past self I guess earlier.

I don't know, it's stupid.

Also, neat fact for Paul,

Trump has actually gone on record saying that "Citizen Kane"

is his favorite film

and

I kinda feel like he might be watching that

a little differently than us?

But also, he's probably lying

and just watches "Bloodsport" and "Hard Target" a lot

and like, come on Don, just say that.

It's probably your best and only good quality

and you shouldn't hide it.

At least then nobody can pretend you don't mean it

when you suggest we nuke the hurricane,

a thing you definitely wanted to do.

Can you hear me?

I said can you hear-

Sorry, folks.

It looks like we're having technical difficulties.

Cody.

Hey, dipshit Cody.

Who are you sir?

Why have you taken over my computer?

It's you from the future.

What's that young man?

I'm you from the future!

Look, I can't hear you.

I'm going to put on another movie.

Motherfucker do not shut me off.

Oh, new "Bill & Ted".

My goodness, that film is extremely relevant

to everything we've been talking about.

It takes place in present time,

with an adult Bill and Ted,

who were led to believe in the previous films

that they would write a song that would unite the world.

And the reveal is

they didn't actually do that.

This older, comfortable generation realizes

they didn't fix the world.

And everyone in the future is super mad at them

because time and space as we know it

is going to unravel unless they come up with the song.

An existential threat, as it were.

And so instead of doing the work,

they travel into the future to steal the song

from their future selves.

Just kicking the can further down the road

insisting that they will surely fix it.

- We're going to fix it.

- Only to discover that their future selves are terrible

and bitter and are actually the villains of the film,

along with a group of future people

who think the solution is to actually kill Bill and Ted.

The older generation needs to die

before the problem can be fixed.

It's a real "facing the music" situation.

And boy, that's familiar.

As if writers and directors and artists know

that the blind optimism and lack of action

in the 80s and 90s

is coming around to bite us all on the ass.

You know like how climate change is rapidly approaching

and in fact currently happening,

as evidenced by me simply looking out my window

to see billows of smoke.

And that's not new.

That's been on our mind for a while.

"Total Recall" is about an evil corporate dictator

trying to maintain control over Mars resources.

"Waterworld", "Mad Max",

the grand "Super Mario Brothers" of course,

and you can't forget the charred wasteland

in "Max Headroom".

who by the way, was played by Matt Frewer.

You might know him as one of the dads

in "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" or the trashcan man

in the 90s adaptation of "The Stand".

Another story about the world ending from viruses and stuff

but honestly who has the time.

You gross nerds might also recognize him

as Berlinghoff Rasmusse,

an eccentric time traveler

from the "Next Generation" episode,

"A Matter Of Time".

He shows up just as the Enterprise

is attempting to regulate the climate on an alien world,

adjusting the carbon dioxide levels

so that the planet can survive.

And ol' Berlinghoff claims

he's there as a temporal historian to witness the event,

constantly hinting at some kind of imminent disaster

relating to the climate of the planet.

And Picard flips the flip out

and tries to get this guy to tell them

what mistakes they might make.

And in the end it's revealed

that Berlinghoff is actually from the past,

found the time machine,

and has been literally just

pocketing shit he finds on the Enterprise.

Just a grifter,

playing off peoples' fears of a dying planet,

hoarding whatever he can in the process.

Seems a little relevant Paul.

These are all older films and TV that knew

this would be an issue of the future.

Because, much like the villain Donald Trump,

we had been talking about it for decades,

but not actually doing anything about it.

Like how all these films put a scientist,

Jeff Goldblum-type into the mix,

who no one listens to and ends up being right.

And yet at the same time

we did that exact same thing about climate change

and a whole lot of other stuff.

So global warming

was a pretty easy guess from films like "Soylent Green"

and I dunno, "Solarbabies".

Does anyone remember "Solarbabies"?

Should I watch "Solarbabies" to see if it's any good?

Hold on.

Nope. No. That was terrible.

It's just a bunch of nonsense.

There's an orb and roller skates.

Don't ever watch "Solarbabies".

Although it did have obvious Nazi villains in it

and was about the re-education of youth

to condition them to a cynical world

plagued by climate change.

Slowly normalizing horrible things for kids

instead of changing them.

Might be something to ponder actually.

And how movies love obvious Nazi villains,

and have inadvertently trained people

to not recognize or acknowledge fascism

unless the people in charge specifically dress like Nazis.

As if Trump doesn't do fascism

or represent a fascist movement

unless he literally gets a Hitler mustache

and does the hand thingy.

And in a way,

this is part of the whole normalization process

where if it doesn't explicitly look

or sound like past evils

then enough thick-domed grifters

can lull you into believing it isn't the same thing

and sure this isn't specific to "Solarbabies"

but I really need a reason to have watched this film

for the video, so don't take this from me please.

Anyway, this concludes our segment titled

"Not Much To Report About The Movie Solarbabies".

Boy o-Paul, these movies loved Nazi stuff.

Just look at this adorable goddamn fashy fashion.

And remember "Barb Wire"?

No?

No you don't and you're kinda shocked I'd bring it up?

Well that film takes place in 2017

during the second American Civil War.

And the bad guys are literally just Nazis in that film.

They didn't think they would be some new faction

of cyber-fascists or the robot KKK

but rather just dudes dressed like Nazis.

And there's a whole plot line with Xander Berkely where

he begins the film as a dirty but honest cop

who almost gets swept in with the Nazis

when the Nazi soldiers come into town

and take over for the police as they hunt down a resistance.

Take over the streets,

and start kidnapping people they deem to be criminals.

Because wow, along with Nazis,

these films of course have some stuff to say

about the police and capital punishment.

The aforementioned "Running Man",

Stallone's "Judge Dredd",

"Escape From New York",

they're all about

it's actually been a long time.

Hold on.

Okay well I just remembered

that I did watch "Running Man" recently

but oh well I watched it again.

Threw in "Escape From L.A." as well

but it turns out I didn't need to.

So yeah, it's all futures where prisoners are murdered

in elaborate fascist and often for entertainment ways.

And only one of those series

actually ends with a hopeful revolution,

as opposed to the main character simply

getting away from the problem.

In the case of "Escape From LA",

Plissken literally shuts off all the power in the world

and sends us into the dark ages

and that is our happy ending.

Because he concludes that humanity is no longer savable.

Despite surfing with Peter Fonda.

That's somehow not enough for him.

And the films cover a whole spectrum

from satirical to only a little self-aware

to not at all self-aware.

Startlingly unself-aware.

You remember the 90s "Judge Dredd",

the best "Judge Dredd" that's about judge-cops

who are allowed to literally deal out death

to street criminals without a trial?

Imagine that.

Go ahead, you can do it.

Just imagine.

Anyway, in that film, Stallone gets framed for murder

and ends up at the judgin' end of the system,

witnessing first-hand the injustice of a police state.

And then,

after he is absolved,

this.

- Judge Dredd,

we have to reconstitute the council.

We'd like you to consider the first position of

chief justice.

- I'm the street judge.

And I'm very late for work.

- Is that Diane fucking Lane?

Anyway, good point character from Judge Dredd.

Let's just change the people who are on the council,

that'll fix the problem of the city's police force

being able to deal out death sentences without a trial.

It is amazing how so many cop films are unironic versions

of other stories pointing out that cops are, in fact, bad.

And in some cases, it's the same story.

Obviously you can compare "Judge Dredd"

to its modern counterpart for a flawless example of this,

but also with his futuristic gun

and rigid interpretation of law,

Stallone's Dredd is sorta the unsatire version of "RoboCop",

a movie that perhaps we should also address.

The movie about an emotionless automaton

programmed to protect corporate interests

in the name of the law

okay I guess I'll check it out.

Okay so "Robocop", you know what?

I should probably check out "RoboCop 2".

Oh man "RoboCop" does not do much of anything

in that one and it was somehow longer.

But we do discover RoboCop's secret weakness,

which is magnets

because he's a robot.

I better finish the series, see where it's all going.

Okay now there's somehow even less of him in that one,

and his face is different.

Why is his face different?

It's like they got another actor,

which is impossible because he's played by RoboCop.

But I do think I have a handle on the series now.

Collected all the "RoboCops" up in here.

Got all the "RoboCops".

So the villain of the Robot-Cops is Omni Consumer Products,

a company that's made a deal with the city of Detroit

to privatize the police in exchange for OCP

building high-end real estate in poor neighborhoods.

And it's revealed that the company is actually

working with criminals to bring up crime

in order to justify their police force

and bring down property values.

Gibberish I tell you!

And the result of police inciting violence

to justify their actions,

more crime over time like a cycle of some sort.

A symbiotic relationship between criminals

and corporations and police,

who cause even more violence with their presence.

(motorbike revving)

(gas station explodes)

(gun bangs)

(gun bangs)

(rider screams)

Aw yeah way to stop that gas station robbery, robot cop.

Total fantasy.

No reason to watch the "RoboCops",

totally not relevant films.

And as the sequels progress into "Robot-Cop The Twice",

the Detroit police become more and more aggressive,

go on strike and let the city get enveloped with crime.

Like really weird child crime?

Like really weird child crime.

- Hands on top of your heads.

Nobody move.

- You are under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you

in a court of law.

- He's dead Murphy.

- Haha, funny.

Trying to arrest someone who is already dead or dying.

How outlandish.

Anyway,

this is all because the police refuse to do their jobs

because of their pensions.

Because no police, no peace

is what they say.

Not in "RoboCop", that's actually real life now.

Total fantasy real life is.

And so as the state fails to support the police

it becomes more and more corporate.

Again, all fantasy.

And instead of finding creative,

perhaps diplomatic solutions,

OCP just keeps trying to make even better RoboCops

in order to edge out human empathy.

Militarizing the police to disastrous,

but also pretty bitchin' results.

(triumphant music)

And then you of course get to the beloved "Robocop 3"

and it's straight up about police evictions

and a people's resistance.

Also he fights a ninja in that one.

Best "Robocop".

Best one of them all.

Best "Robocop".

Everyone knows this about "Robocop 1"

and "Robocop 2" and "Robocop 3".

(explosion)

- What in the name?

(explosions)

- Perfect film.

That people have seemingly forgotten the message of.

Along with all the lesser "Robocops".

And all the films I've mentioned and will mention.

We've just spent decades dancing around all these ideas.

This line between an authoritarian police state

and a scrappy resistance.

A Trump-like leader.

A battle between the Left and the Right.

Because it feels like there's always been,

in the back of our collective pop culture heads,

this partisan juncture we were destined to face.

This point in history all these movies were talking about

when things would get really bad,

and we'd dabble with the idea of mask off authoritarianism

in some form.

Even the dystopian movies that parody the Left,

like "Demolition Man"

aka the future liberals want the movie,

is about a fascist PC safe space cancel culture world

that gets terrorized by an evil criminal

who does kung-fu to the sissy police

until we're blasted back to sanity

with edgy Denis Leary standup.

- It's a freedom of speech and a freedom of choice.

I'm the kind of guy would just sit in a greasy spoon

and wonder, "Gee, should I have a T-bone steak

or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs

with a side order gravy fries."

I want high cholesterol.

- They want to ban cow farts, folks!

But hey at least they're social distancing.

These aren't just from the 80's and 90's of course.

"Pluto Nash", a movie you may have never thought about

until just this moment,

weighed in with a reference to Hillary becoming president.

As well as a nod to Donald Trump not being a president.

That's right.

"Pluto Nash" takes place in a world where Hillary won.

It's the anti-Super Mario Brothers or something.

And both "Demolition Man"

and "Pluto Nash" are kinda also optimistic views

of the condition of the world.

The world itself is really technologically advanced

and kinda fun.

Same with "Bill & Ted" future

and what I assume that "Tomorrowland" film is about.

I don't know. I'll never watch that.

It's all connected maybe.

I'll make a pinboard about it later probably.

By the way,

all of this stuff I've been talking about,

it isn't just movies

but also like books too.

The word movie.

Back in 1991, two guys named William Strauss and Neil Howe

wrote a book called "Generations"

that not only used the exact word "Millennials",

but specifically predicted a crisis of 2020.

This wasn't a wild guess

but rather based on looking at patterns in our history,

concluding that 2020 was most likely the year in which,

"The nation's public life will undergo a swift

and possibly revolutionary transformation."

And also, "Americans will feel that the fate of posterity -

for generations to come - hang in the balance."

And also, "The danger will lie in any attempt

by aging Silent generation leaders

to get too much in the way

of the thickening forces of history - for example,

if an eightyish President (or Supreme Court)

insists of scrupulous process

at a moment when younger generations

begin to coalesce around the need for decisive action."

The 70s and 80s and 90s churned out dystopian fiction,

because there was a looming idea

that things weren't going to go that great

for the newer generations.

But they didn't know exactly what it would be.

Storms, aliens, a virus, Donald Trump being in charge.

Perhaps a killer shark or two.

It was almost as if

we were being purposefully raised to expect an apocalypse.

It wasn't on purpose of course.

An older generation of a population

was merely expressing anxiety of a looming massive crisis

while instilling the expectation of one

in its younger generations.

And if you think about all these movies,

they always take place either during or after the crisis.

It's always reacting to the disaster itself,

not the coming of the disaster.

It's almost as if,

because they certainly weren't going to change

and just continue to trash the environment

and gather massive amounts of wealth,

they knew, subconsciously, that all of their kids

would have to prepare for whatever disaster they caused,

but not actually stop it from happening

until the last possible second.

Like a mayor ignoring a killer shark.

- We're gonna fix it.

- And they freaking drilled that into us.

One of the first movies people my age

most likely remember seeing

is a film about a dry, dystopian world

on the brink of definite,

as in guaranteed, extinction.

Where a group of children desperately flee for their lives

against a cannibalistic monster

who killed the mother of the main character.

And yet they continue on,

despite the fact that everyone watching

absolutely knows their society is doomed.

It was called "The Land Before Time"

and adults made us watch that.

Its plot is no different than any of the "Mad Max" films,

except somehow less hopeful.

And it's how the millennial generation started.

They even showed us the "prequel" to all of this

in the finale of the family sitcom "Dinosaurs",

where the father Earl once again caves to his boss

at the conglomerate WESAYSO

and sprays poison on vines that overgrow

because the habitat of the beetles that managed them

were paved over by WESAYSO.

This leads to a chain of events

that results in global climate change.

Earl apologizes to his family

as we fade out on snow falling.

Any good clips of Earl's boss, the villain of the show?

- You're all fired.

- Okay, I'll watch one episode.

Okay, so in another episode,

Earl and his friends are fired

because the company cut down all the trees

and there are no jobs left.

- Not to belabor this sir,

but doesn't it seem like this running out of trees thing

is something a company might've anticipated?

- Yeah.

The company should have planned ahead.

- It sounds to me like it's high time

that the government stepped in and started to regulate

these big companies.

- Wow!

How dare you blame the company you mulley bag of ingrates!

It's not the company's fault.

It's never the company's fault.

- It's my fault, isn't it sir?

- No, you nibbling sack of lard.

I'll show you whose fault it is.

Take a look at this.

- The journal of economic finger-pointing.

- Published quarterly by the government.

It clearly states that all our current economic troubles

are traceable to one source,

four-leggers.

- The government blames "four-leggers" for their problems

and bans them.

Earl eventually learns the four-leggers are just like him,

thanks to exposure to people that the ban affected.

But not before

- Stick with your real friends at team WESAYSO.

We're going to make history.

(boss laughs)

- One of the worst disasters in Pangean history today

as several workers drown

during the first day of construction

on the new anti four-legger swamp wall.

- See nobody ever tried heavy construction

on the surface of a swamp before.

Apparently most things sink.

- 1993.

"Dinosaurs".

Anyway, "Dinosaurs" is just liberal propaganda

like all Jim Henson propaganda

like "Sesame Street's" propaganda about sharing

and helping people.

Here's an interesting quote from one of the creators.

"If the show has any value at all,

it is young people have to understand

that extinction is a possibility,

so that they can remind their parents

that if they are not taking care of the world for themselves

they should do it for the children."

Sad to say,

not sure parents are getting the message.

Many of them didn't do the thing that Earl does

in the "Green Card" episode,

where after being manipulated by demagogues

in a way that affected his relationship

with people he loved,

he recognizes this, apologizes

and turns off what is extensively Fox News.

- Everyone knows that the very real problems in society are

far too complex to blame on the four-leggers.

No, the finger of responsibility he must be pointed at

amphibians.

- What?

- Who are these guys anyway?

Breathe air, breathe water,

make up your minds.

- Ah, shut up.

- The parents didn't learn.

Some of them did.

But a lot of them saw these lessons and morals

in humanity's popular culture and thought

"That's stupid kid shit."

And picked the villain instead.

But we teach kids "kids shit"

because it's the basic stuff.

It's the good stuff.

The alphabet,

and sharing.

Basic kid shit.

"Dinosaurs" is full of stuff like this,

not just the "Green Card" episode,

not just the climate change finale,

but throughout.

I wish this episode was only about "Dinosaurs".

I could pick any episode.

It is a radical show.

- Don't shoot.

I surrender.

- We're not gonna shoot ya.

- We wanna reeducate ya.

- You see son,

you're just a product of an alienated economic class

lashing out because you feel powerless

and unloved.

- You've been disenfranchised

by the bourgeois power structure.

- That's right.

- The beauty of "Dinosaurs" the show

was it was a bunch of people in dinosaur costumes.

It was kind of silly and childish,

and as one of the creators points out,

as long as the baby hit the dad with a frying pan,

they could do and say whatever they wanted.

Like this conversation with the baby.

- What are four-legged dad?

- Huh?

- Let me explain son. - Okay.

- You see, we walk on two legs and they walk on four.

So they're different and therefore evil.

- Well, I got four legs.

- No. No.

No, those are arms.

- Well, I walk on them.

- Maybe you're just a little too young

to understand the finer points of race hatred.

- Oh. - But also,

because they were silly dinosaur people,

they were dinosaurs

and they were always doomed.

In this case, from their own making.

- Well, like trim back the vines as much as we can.

Live with a little discomfort

and hope that nature eventually restores the balance.

- That's inconvenient and time consuming.

- There was a period when dinosaurs

were something we wanted to coexist alongside,

to consider,

to learn from,

and then "Jurassic Park" happened.

And then "Dinosaurs" the show was canceled

and dinosaurs were canceled.

They became monsters.

Obviously it wasn't just short-lived ABC family sitcom

Jim Henson's "Dinosaurs".

And since then,

we've completely normalized the cynicism of assuming

we're going to live in some future dystopia

ravaged by climate change and corruption.

To the point that pretty much every movie or TV show

that takes place in the future is about that.

It just is definitely happening.

The setting is inevitable disaster.

Popcorn movies have noticeably trended away from disaster

in favor of just "Welp, the disaster happened."

Even "Star Trek",

one of the most optimistic portrayals of the future,

has become bleak and filled with disaster.

(water splashing)

We love our 9/11 in "Star Trek", don't we folks?

Hey 2015 Cody, you remember your 9/11 "Star Trek"?

But yeah we love our 9/11 "Star Treks".

The one literally titled "Into Darkness"

that features Spock going absolutely Borg shit on Kahn.

Where the federation is actually evil

and tries to carry out a false flag operation to justify war

and the villain is played by Peter Weller

aka RoboCop.

This isn't exploring things yet to come,

it's just reliving things that happened.

9/11 "Star Trek",

9/11 "Superman",

9/11 "Godzilla".

Reminding us that massive loss is normal,

and a few special people can save us.

And of course all that "Hunger Games" business.

Hunger what business?

"Hunger Games".

"The Hunger Games".

You know it's like a hit movie right now.

I've no idea what that is.

Yes you do.

You've seen it.

I've seen it.

"The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part Two",

you just saw it.

I just saw it in the theaters.

Was it really that forgettable?

You saw it in the what?

Look, I don't think you went back in time to do bits.

There's this whole dystopian young adult craze

going on right now.

The future is not bright and so on

except for "Tomorrowland" which just came out.

I don't think I'm going to see it though.

Nor will you.

"Hunger Games" is the one where they sacrifice young people

in order to maintain the status quo.

And there's this old white guy running things

and then Jennifer Lawrence leads a revolution,

but actually just turns out to be a pawn for this other lady

who promises this revolution

but actually just wants to do the same thing as Snow,

another Hunger Games but like

to the other side.

And Jennifer Lawrence realizes that while one side,

Snow's side,

is obviously worse,

it's ultimately all a part of the same oppressive system

designed to fuck over the masses.

It's just hitting the ball back and forth.

Like if one side of the political spectrum was like

"Free healthcare is slavery! Blue Lives Matter!"

and the other side was like,

"Healthcare is a human right! Reform the police!"

but really dragged-ass on those things

to the frustration of their more progressive base.

Is there anything like that now with Trump

or am I missing the mark here?

No, I think you're in the ballpark.

Also, these new films all have teenage

to young adult protagonists.

That's interesting.

We used to have dystopian heroes in their adulthood,

some swolled up action star or the occasional plumber,

but then we replaced the suffering hero

for the plucky young Katniss Everdeen

or whatever the name of the person in "The Maze Runner" is.

I'm not going to Google it.

Cornoobius Puzzlehawk probably.

But the writer of the "Hunger Games"

specifically based the novel off of reality TV

and war coverage,

so its not like they didn't know what they were doing.

That the dystopia of tomorrow

would in fact be a weight mostly carried

on the shoulders of the young.

20-somethings dying due to some elaborate system

built by adults.

(police sirens wailing)

Cops are outside, I gotta go.

Going-to-jail Cody is right.

Even though the "Hunger Games" is about war,

it applies to the rise of stuff like

mass school shootings as well.

The youth of today sacrificed to maintain the status quo,

as they also are in relation to climate change.

There was even a scene in that film

when a little girl who happens to be black,

is killed senselessly because of the system in place

and her family and community rise up against the police

and get sprayed by hoses and tear gassed.

(intense music)

Total fiction scenario of course.

All of it.

Sci-fi dystopian fantasy it is.

Why don't they protest peacefully, am I right?

Damn the looters and vandals, ya know?

Pretty darn interesting that everyone in "The Hunger Games"

knows that The Hunger Games suck.

I mean sure there's the Karen district

with Zazzy McShineTooth

but the people being subjugated in the other districts know

and are angry about being subjugated.

And compare that with films like "Brazil"

or "Logan's Run" or something like "1984"

or the good people of Dinohattan

and how those films portray a subdued populace

who have bought into their oppression

while the few sensible are labeled as terrorists.

In these new films,

the people immediately know it's bullshit.

It's as if we don't have time to be cautionary

so much as reactive.

It's the "Bill & Ted" series going from

"Your music is going to change the world someday"

to "If you don't do something in the next 70 minutes

then the world will end."

- We need to hear the song

in 77 minutes and 25 seconds.

You have everything you require.

Get to work.

- And this isn't the only end-of-the-world-genre

that has upped the stakes since the 70s and 80s.

While there are always exceptions,

your average disaster blockbuster

has gone from a movie about a single cruise ship sinking

all the way to a single cruise ship

being all that's left of humanity.

I don't really want to read too much into it

because escalation is the natural evolution

of spectacle blockbusters

but it's weird how we, the movie audience,

are becoming slowly accustomed to tremendous body counts.

And an almost certainty

that the disaster will be world-ending,

going from a quaint film about Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt

fighting tornadoes

all the way to the entire city of Los Angeles

being sucked off by hundreds of tornadoes.

It's no longer Hollywood hunks like Bruce Willis

or the extremely fuckable Robert Duvall

blasting into space

and saving the world from a single asteroid.

The stakes have become bleaker and more man-made

and more inevitable.

"Interstellar" is about the world

becoming completely uninhabitable

because of climate change.

The resolution isn't to save the world

but rather relocating a small percentage of the population.

The solution is literally the villain of another film

about the wealthy leaving the earth to die.

We're no longer saving the world,

but celebrating the few people who make it out.

(triumphant music)

Probably one of the most transparent,

unbelievable examples of recent

has to be "Ready Player One".

A film we've all already forgotten about

despite being made by "Jurassic Park".

That film opens on a world plagued by poverty and drought

and the Bandwidth Riots

because it was written by an asshole.

And since that's how the movie begins,

we figure it's the main struggle facing these characters,

ya know?

That the world sucks.

And because the world sucks so much,

everyone is obsessed with this VR universe called The Oasis.

And even though it's 2045

they also care a lot about pop culture from 70 years ago.

You know like how all our online avatars

are from "Forbidden Planet" and "The Seventh Seal"?

The youth

they're so into "The Seventh Seal" right now you guys.

Then the main character goes off on a VR adventure

where the entire Oasis company

is gonna get Willy Wonka'd

into the hands of whichever rad cyber-dude

figures out the dead CEO's really obvious puzzles.

And eventually the hero wins

and gets ownership of the big corporation

and makes a rule that forces people

to not be on The Oasis all the time.

- [Wade] The third thing we did wasn't as popular.

We closed The Oasis on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I know it sounds like a weird move,

but people need to spend more time in the real world

cause like Halliday said,

reality is the only thing.

- And then the movie just ends.

Little thought to the fact

that the world is still suffering from poverty and drought.

But it's a happy ending, you see,

because the hero is now rich.

And tells everyone, "Hey now, stop living in the VR world

every once in a while!

Don't ya know that reality is better?

What with all the money and smooches that I have?"

And that, seriously, is how it ends.

The good guy got a nicer apartment,

so we can all go home, I guess.

And that's incredible.

Because it's literally the unironic version

of a "Black Mirror" episode.

Like literally.

It starred Daniel Kaluuya from "Get Out",

the episode was called "Fifteen Million Merits",

and was about a dystopian world

where everyone is surrounded by screens,

never seeing the sun,

and forced to do labor to earn merits.

And the main character begins to start a revolution,

only to become part of the system

and ends up selling out after getting his own luxury life.

The dark ending being that change isn't possible

when people get to the top

and forget about all the people at the bottom.

And that is the point of the episode.

Which is, and I can't stress this enough,

the same as the unironic happy ending to "Ready Player One",

a film made only seven years later.

We're supposed to be happy

because one guy we were following got rich

while the rest of the world continues to fall apart.

We love our rich president, don't we folks?

Aw yeah you get your money and your dynasty king.

Literal king that we want you to be, us peasants.

And that's a running theme these days.

Most of our superheroes, for example,

don't live with the common man anymore.

Rarely do the movies focus on their secret identities.

They live in seclusion,

famous, with access to amazing resources

not shared by the world,

and they cause massive deaths

in the name of the greater good.

I know I'm generalizing here but like

Tony Stark has an Arc Reactor

that can power a city and doesn't use it for that.

Also he has flying machines

and super holographic computers.

And then whenever we see regular people

they're still using laptops and driving around in cars.

And like

thanks for saving everyone from aliens,

but you have a machine that literally heals wounds

and you're not letting us use it.

Machine that literally heals wounds for all.

That's from "Avengers Age of Ultron",

where a side-effect of their victory

is a whole lot of people dying

but not an even bigger amount of deaths

than it could have been.

A city rises in the air and thousands of people die,

but it's a win

that the city didn't also slam back into the earth.

Great work team.

And sure, these films dabble

in exploring the morality of this,

but never draw a meaningful conclusion

before moving on to the next big threat.

Two films after Ultron,

the villain in "Civil War" is Helmut Zemo,

whose backstory is simply that

his family was killed in the city at the end of Ultron

and blames the Avengers for it.

Because it's absolutely the Avengers' fault?

Ultron was created by Tony Stark,

without much input from the government

or like a vote or anything,

and ended up killing a lot of people.

And he should super be in jail for that.

Instead, his punishment for causing that is hero's guilt.

And while "Civil War" is all about whether or not

the Avengers need to be regulated and punished,

Zemo is still written as a villain.

And the ultimate question of what to do

about Captain Freedom and the Bloat

and Metal Chap and the rest,

that never actually gets answered.

The Civil War never gets resolved because Thanos shows up.

Obviously that's justified within the story,

but the writers made the story up.

They chose not to resolve that.

Same for the DC Superman,

and when Batman gets specifically peeved

about Superman's immunity to consequence,

the film just introduces a hilarious goblin

as a common threat and the subject is never discussed again.

It's very Bush-era politics when you think about it,

where we justify any stamping of human rights

with an argument that the terror

is too great to bother with rules.

And when you take away all the powerful bad guys

coincidentally showing up before these debates can complete,

you get a show like "The Boys"

pointing out that both the Marvel and DC universes

are actually dystopian.

For the average person existing in them,

they're a waking nightmare.

And yet the films are framed from the perspective

of the few people with absolute power.

And that's like,

interesting, right?

There's a socioeconomic theory

called "The Wave Principle"

based on a book written in the 1930s.

It's based around the idea that

market trends cycle through waves

based on the overall mood of a society.

And this theory was later applied to pop culture,

and how films can also reflect the stock market.

Because popular films are an extremely good indicator

of our national or global mood.

What stories we want to see.

Like how the Great Depression

coincided with a rise of musicals and so on.

And it doesn't take a degree to look at how back in 2001,

America was attacked

in a previously unfathomable terrorist act

resulting in the death of thousands.

An event that shocked the entire world.

And then immediately after that

we started making countless movies

about invulnerable people

single handedly stopping extreme threats.

And as each film worked to one-up the last one,

the stakes slowly went from Spiderman saving Mary Jane

from a mutated Power Ranger

to Spiderman saving the entire city of London.

But you gotta get the bad guys.

You gotta stop the murderer,

even if that means the death of way more people.

Now do not get me wrong Paul,

these movies are all hella fun and junk,

but they're kinda propaganda too.

They're unironically what the films "Team America"

and "Starship Troopers" were satirizing.

An all-American stars and stripes team

sucking down martinis in their fancy base,

too rich to care,

flying off in advanced vehicles

to turn other countries into war zones

in the name of stopping terror

with absolutely no oversight

and a shocking amount of mistakes

and casualties in the process.

That's literally both Team America and The Avengers.

- [Stark] All deference to the man who wouldn't be king,

but it's great.

- You bet your ass.

(explosion)

- Of course Team America also ends with the speech

praising the necessity of American imperialism

and world policing so,

but also even the old symbols of oppression

and horror are heroes now.

Godzilla went from a literal allegory

for the US nuclear bombing of Hiroshima

all the way to a borderline superhero

in American remakes.

We're going to survive.

- Victory isn't getting something

or achieving something better

or reaching a goal,

it's not dying.

It's just surviving.

This of course was just one year after "Jurassic Park"

killed the friendly dinosaur,

and two years after "Dinosaurs",

replacing a possible lesson from destruction,

with just the spectacle and inevitability of destruction.

And it really feels like this is all pointing

at the same subconscious acceptance,

the normalization of fascism,

acceptable losses

and ultra-capitalism that led to someone like Trump

becoming the President.

Our first popcorn movie President, Koopa.

Yes, it worked!

Shut up!

You have to listen to me.

I don't have much time.

But I'm in the future and things have gotten so much worse.

I know you tried to tweet

but you didn't tweet hard enough.

Cody, I need you to tweet harder.

Oh my, something's there.

Hey how are the new "Avatar" movies?

They come out yet?

You wanna tussle you fascist fuck!

I'll tussle.

I'm bear king fuck tussle!

Rude.

Okay. Well, thanks for that

special report about the future,

which from the looks of it is not doing great.

Now I know there's been cynical generations in the past,

generations that suffered even worse hardships.

Like the Hindenburg and pastel suits

and probably other stuff

between those two equally bad things.

But the people inheriting the earth right now

are under crippling debt,

a pandemic,

multiple terrorist attacks,

mass shootings,

this guy,

access to endless information

about everything bad in the world,

and then decades of our pop culture telling them

that we will see the end of days.

I mean, we got "Futurama" so I guess that's cool.

And also I guess optimism in "Tomorrowland"

but again, I'm not seeing that and never will.

Never watching "Tomorrowland".

So like a frog on a hotplate

we've just been conditioned to expect and accept the worst.

Maybe crave it a little bit.

I'd kick ass in a zombie apocalypse et cetera.

It's survivalist porn.

But until then,

just feel doomed at every little thing that happens

but also do nothing when the worst happens

because, ya know,

the end of the world, it's fated to end, right?

We're Sarah Connor at the beginning of "Terminator 2"

screaming that everyone is already dead

so it doesn't matter.

- You're already dead.

Everybody. Him, you, you're dead already.

- Until people are being literally kidnapped

off the streets.

And the guy responsible for it,

the president.

Almost seems like just another character

in another one of these films or TV shows

and we're just waiting to find out what happens next.

What dumb thing he'll say.

What evil thing he'll do.

What the season finale will hold.

Did you have virus on your Trump show bingo card?

Et cetera.

We can't stop watching.

It's the popcorn show.

The rise of streaming,

of binging,

of 24-hour news,

of reality television,

of social media,

and our warped disgusting politics have lead to this.

Our popcorn dystopia just gobbling it down,

doom scrolling through things that are happening in reality,

sometimes feeling like a movie

that we're now watching passively

unable to do anything useful.

We're all side characters in a disaster movie.

Just a nation of featured extras,

sitting in a theater showing the movie they're in,

futily shouting at the screen

that there's a disaster coming.

And so we give in.

Grab a drink,

sit back,

watch it all fall apart.

- And I'm rooting for that big one

to come right through that hole in the ozone layer

because I want to see it on CNN.

See I'm here for the entertainment, Charlie.

I am.

These philosophers say, "Why are we here?"

I know why I'm here.

- For the entertainment. - The show.

Bring it on. I want to see the circus.

- But how does this affect your performance

and what you bring to stand up?

- Well, I've seen a lot of comedians

we've all seen a lot of comedians

who seem to have a political bent in their work.

And always implicit in the work is some positive outcome.

That this is all going to work

if only we do this, if only we pass that bill,

if only elect him,

if only we do that.

It's not true.

It's circling the drain time for the humans.

I believe this. I honestly believe this.

Not just as a comedian he thinks that

he likes to say that, I believe it.

- Because there's a difference

between having a front row seat to the circus

and having a front row seat to the circus

when the tent's on fire.

Related to conservatives

misunderstanding every movie they've ever loved.

I always think it's funny when they think

Carlin would have liked Trump or whatever.

I don't think he'd be a resistance lib,

but counterpoint,

- I know where we can build housing for the homeless,

golf courses.

Perfect.

Golf courses.

Just what we need.

Plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods.

Land that is currently being wasted

on a meaningless mindless activity,

engaged in primarily by white well-to-do male businessmen

who use the game to get together to make deals

to carve this country up a little finer among themselves.

The real looting in this country

takes place in the transfer of wealth

from the poor to the rich.

I'm sorry that you don't like class and the truth my friend,

but you just stuck with it.

And the poor have been systematically looted

in this country,

the rich had been made richer under this criminal

fascist president and his government.

- Anyway, remember when these movies

these dystopian 80s and 90s films like "Johnny Mnemonic"

or "Judge Dredd" would open with these

hilarious text scrawls about how in the year 2010

or whenever society would begin to collapse

and we'd all watch them now

and laugh about how silly they are?

Well maybe we shouldn't laugh.

At least not at the opening text part.

Like the first three lines

for the opening of "Johnny Mnemonic" are literally,

and I quote,

"Second decade of the 21st century.

Corporations rule.

The world is threatened by a new plague."

And like

right?

Also, in the same crawl, they mention the "info-wars"

which I know is a coincidence

but feels like not one of those.

It's just funny.

Face masks, protests,

Dolph Lungren getting murdered by a dolphin.

- Spawn of Satan.

- Now!

(explosion)

- It's not really a prediction yet,

but I had to show that.

It also has Ice-T in it.

One of two dystopian films he was in that year.

The other was "Tank Girl",

you know that totally outlandish movie about how

all the world dries up

and a corporation takes control of all the world's water.

That movie slaps by the way.

Ice-T plays a fucking kangaroo.

Iggy Pop is there too.

In a scene where a character

gets captured by a pedophile ring

run by a woman that looks like Ghislaine Maxwell.

Probably a coincidence but feels like not one of those.

Henry Rollin's in the mix too,

as a doctor in a makeshift pandemic hospital

in "Johnny Mnemonic".

A film where there's an evil

overcharging pharmaceutical company, nothing relevant there.

Nothing relevant about all these characters,

from Mojo Nixon in Mario

to Blank Reg in "Max Headroom"

coming from hip-hop and punk background.

I dunno, that's interesting.

It's interesting that once again,

when standing removed from how a fascist police state

would be fought on the streets,

we basically imagined Antifa-types as the good guys.

Fucking weird, am I right Paul?

Super coincidences all around.

- The story

I'm not going to bury the lead on this one

because I think it's hilarious.

Unmarked vehicles pull up,

feds jump out

and then walk up to Antifa and just snatch him up gone.

And you know what?

It's funny to think,

because I'm thinking about like when I was a kid,

like when I was younger watching "V for Vendetta"

or any of these movies,

you'd imagine that anybody carrying out

these governmental black baggings for the bad guys.

- [Man] That's a good point.

- No, not here.

- Future Cody, are you okay?

Looked like some kind of a struggle there.

Can you describe what's happening in your timeline?

How far into the future are you?

January

2021 I think.

It's hard to tell these days.

Jesus, that's only like months from now.

What the hell is going on?

Did the virus take us?

Was there a nuclear war?

Did Trump win again?

Cody,

was it the boars?

Oh man.

It's terrible.

Its terrible.

Everyone is super divided and angry and depressed.

It's basically like the end of the world or whatever

and climate change is getting worse.

Politicians are doing nothing

while Americans are protesting in the streets

being harassed by fascists.

Police violence is killing people with no consequences.

Civil rights being violated.

People on Twitter won't shut up and say I'm right!

Shove

If you want them to shut up,

you can't also say you're right.

Yeah.

Well that sounds like something they would say

supposed Cody.

Future Cody, who is the president?

I don't know, man. It's wild.

You mean Trump refused to leave office?

They're still counting the votes?

Did they both die?

No no no.

I just don't know.

I didn't look into it.

Doesn't matter, they're all fascists Cody.

It's all gonna fall apart.

You're gonna put sandbags around your doors and windows.

Yell at kids at the park.

You're gonna drink yours and other people's piss.

Lots of piss-drinking.

Eatin' salmon right out of the stream

unless you get on your little fucking phone

and you tweet even harder than you already have!

You gotta tweet harder Cody

or you're gonna end up just like me.

Hold on. Is GrubHub.

You still have GrubHub?

Yeah, I got Chipotle.

Okay. So I'm really unclear

about the exact nature of the apocalypse

you're actually suffering through.

You really don't know who won the election?

What does it matter?

You're either going to have four more years

of the dinosaur Hitler

or the useless fucking fungus.

Don't you realize?

Don't you remember the ending

of the "Super Mario Brothers" movie

where Daisy shows back up for help

even though they thought they saved the kingdom.

Yes, of course I remember

and constantly think about the ending.

It's because the fungus was a lie.

It doesn't actually do anything in the movie.

The fungus merely exists.

It's a past that has grown into the infrastructure

of what replaced it.

It's the old King.

They say it in the movie.

- Well at least he was my father.

He used to be the leader here

until Koopa turned him into all this

fungus.

- It's the old ass king fungus fuck's fault

Koopa became the dictator.

They say "Trust the fungus" through the whole movie,

but why?

It's useless!

Even during the final battle,

Mario Mario doesn't actually "trust the fungus"

like this sporeproganda would have you believe.

He doesn't give himself up to a higher authority

and let the fungus solve the problem.

Mario Mario uses the old mushroom kingdom like a rope.

He jumps on it like a trampoline.

It's not the mushroom man,

it's Mario Mario,

the working man,

wrench in hand,

leading the people to revolution.

Then when the dust settles,

he hands the reins back to the fungus

whose fault everything was

and who in this situation

didn't actually do anything beyond be a rope.

Saying "Trust the fungus" instead of "Use the mushroom"

is just some more sporepraganda

meant to pacify the people

and subconsciously remove the idea

that they have agency in society changing

or in the ways that it can change.

Don't trust the fungus.

Trust yourself.

Use the mushroom.

Take mushrooms.

Steal silverware.

The fungus is the old system

that led to the downfall and the crisis.

Like in "Star Wars",

you got your flawed Old Republic and Jedi Order,

it descends into fascism,

the rebels rebel,

they try a New Republic

like the Old Republic and the Jedi Order,

as if that will fix the problems

that led them to the empire.

Like in that "Star Wars" episode we did.

The fuck is "Star Wars"?

Sounds like some dumb baby shit.

Who has time for that?

My point is that the fungus

from the "Super Mario Brothers" movie can blow me.

Can blow us, Cody.

Because the alternative to Trump

is still a fucking dystopian mess.

We're just in a cycle where we topple the villain,

forget that he's just a symptom of a larger problem,

and it all just starts again.

Like the sequels to a film

where the hero keeps having to fight the same thing

over and over.

Ingen keeps making dinosaurs no matter who is in charge.

The Avengers fight villain after villain after villain.

Ernest just

he just keeps fucking going places.

Fucking fascist.

The cycle

the sequels.

Fucking Bill Pullman after the inevitable destruction

but we win by barely surviving,

the aliens just come right back man.

What's changed years later?

- [Man] We convinced an entire generation

that this is a battle that we could win

and they believed this.

- Yeah, that's right you great boomer fuck.

The opening crawl just resetting everything.

There's no escape.

And that's what you

and all those absolute cuties

watching you need to understand.

You're all in that opening crawl.

But not one where we get to ride tricked out tanks

or fight dinosaur-people

or hang out with hacker dolphins

or do any of the cool stuff

we've been told we will do in those classic, classic films.

We'll probably just

fucking

fucking die

of disease

or violence.

You're gonna die, Cody.

You tweet or you die.

Or you tweet and you die.

There's no cheese in this maze butthead.

There is no way for you to be sure of that.

There's gotta be non dystopian outcomes.

Life is a dystopian outcome man.

Listen, fucking listen,

ever since we got that time device

we've been furiously trying to change the past

from happening.

We killed Hitler.

Then we brought Hitler back.

Then we made five Hitlers.

Then two Hitlers.

Then we split the diff at three Hitlers.

Then we made half a Hitler,

like this little Hitler.

It was adorable.

But no matter how many Hitlers we killed or made,

nothing changes.

It's as if the past is some kind of unchangeable concept

because time is actually a non-linear structure of events

that our flawed human perception is contorting

into sequential order

and there's no point in dwelling on it

and instead we just live in the present

which absolutely is total bullshit

so we gotta tweet Cody!

We gotta fight everyone and everything all the time

and never stop until our left eye bursts

and we drop dead in the middle of Costco.

My god.

You've lost your mind!

You need to be stopped.

Oh yeah, butthead?

Good luck stopping me.

Ah!

(Cody screams)

Without your thumbs.

Good luck.

Right, time goes the other way.

But still fuck you. Am I right?

Wait.

Even if you knew time went the right way,

why would you do that to hurt me if things can't change?

You'll never catch me.

I mean what do you mean?

You know there's a way don't you?

I know.

2015 Cody changed to the nicer backdrop and that worked.

2015 Cody did what?

He got the good backdrop.

You must remember.

No, I fucking don't remember.

That means my timeline must've been created as a consequence

of you learning about time travel,

but not from you using time travel to get the backdrop.

Okay.

Sorry I guess. I didn't realize that-

That I'm from a junked timeline?

Did you not listen to old me

when I explained this shit to you?

Did you not look at his pictures?

My universe has been expired.

Our consciousness shifted to a new timeline.

Which means that I will stop existing

once we're done with this call.

You fuck.

You dirty fuck.

This is complicated.

I can draw you a graph fuck face.

Fuck!

I only have one shot at existing again.

Okay.

Harder without a thumb but I can do it.

Okay. All right.

What is it?

Hey pissant Cody, listen.

I need you to forget what I said about getting the backdrop.

Just trash any-

Whoa.

So you're not future me from this current timeline.

I don't die in a Costco.

Motherfucker you still might.

Just not my Costco.

Guys, it's like four in the morning here.

I just got out of jail.

Suck it up prick.

Now listen, prick Cody who sucks

but still needs to further suck it up.

Don't listen to this man.

I want that backdrop.

I want it more than anything.

No, no backdrop Cody.

Okay, you know what?

I'm just going to split the diff

and throw my computer away.

Time you say,

why I have all the time in the world.

I didn't say time.

If you don't help me,

I'll find a dumbshit version of you that will.

Not if I can help it.

Fuck you past Cody.

I'll fuck you first.

Hot! I mean no.

Oh snap, is he dead?

Did we kill us?

You know what?

Screw this noise.

I'm switching to "Bill & Ted" mode,

where everything is predestined.

I seem to remember that being a bad idea

where we collapsed all the multi-verses.

Don't do that.

Absolutely fucked if I care, you cock.

I'm gonna totally trigger you by breaking time.

Breaking time.

Breaking time.

Breaking time.

Breaking time.

Breaking time.

The many ways and things about time are really,

I mean wow, they're wild you know.

Held together like a strand of fabric

to one of those thorny ball things you find in a bush.

Pulsing energy through the reasons of existence and matter,

and light and birds

and me mates in the sky and the suns

and I dunno and almost just about everything else.

But not everything else.

This cosmic event unraveling before every eyeball at once

is why time and the traveling of it

is just another magnificence of scientifics.

And here's some news.

Planets.

And as always, our top story, maths.

Recently, the multiverse became one

and by observing this event

I have now become a participant in it.

So here, in other news, we now go live

to many

other

versions

of

news.

Hello.

Here's some news.

Some rock and roll news.

Resident Jagger had gotten backlash

after being filmed refusing to salute the brave lads

and birds who were about to roll.

When asked for comment,

a quite brilliant president said out loud on the tellie

for people to hear,

"I like people who are already rocked

and are not simply about to rock."

They just scop it off.

And like, are we even surprised, huh?

He's a bloody wanker he is.

I'm British and what's the news innit.

♪ Welcome to the news ♪

♪ We're gonna read the news ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

Our top story,

helping and stealing is good.

Unless you wanna dolt and then it's bad I guess.

Anyway, here's some more news.

Oi! Welcome to a right good spot of news.

I'm British Cody,

but a different kind of British

than the previous British Codys you've seen thus far.

Our top story, today in West Hampfordshire Upon Bedstmummin,

her majesty the Queen was quite knackered

and in a bit of a bodgerwobby,

fell asleep while in the lieu,

leaving all of us chuffed to bits.

Meanwhile, across the pond in America,

(exaggerated American accent) cheeseburgers.

- Hey there Braiden.

Your mom told me that you're a very special young man

and you're a big fan of my work in

"Bojack Horseman".

Seems kinda mature for-

Anyway your mother loves you

and she wanted to share this special message with you.

Here's some news.

I am Matilda Cody, telekinetic bride of Satan

insert floating pencil effect here.

And am officially announcing a Matilda sequel

based on a spec script written by Cody

oh for fuck's sake, it's this fucking guy again.

Dude, will you fucking let it go already.

I'm not gonna-

- Hi, here's some news.

Bernie Sanders isn't even a Democrat

but he swoops in every time there's an election

with his terrible ideas as if we owe him anything.

Whereas we've got somebody like Michael Bloomberg

who's like

he's put in the time,

he ran like the biggest city in the world.

And he's the guy to take on Donald Trump,

who I also kind of like actually.

Oh hello.

Here's some cartoons.

The anthropomorphic centipede-filled condom

that is Steve Bannon

was arrested today

when he was caught painting a big sign

labeled "Donations for border wall"

with an arrow pointed toward a hole in the ground

that turned out to just lead to his vast slathering maw.

Authorities began to suspect the former campaign manager

when he gazed longingly at a group of racist boomers

and they dissolved into giant, talking bags of money.

He is currently awaiting sentencing,

but according to the Washingtoon Post,

will likely face a punishment of fifty mallots to the skull.

Or however many will cause him to see fluttering swastikas

twirling around his head.

- Hi I'm MacCody Culkin and here's some MacNews.

My skin feels a little warm

but that's probably because I fell asleep in the sun.

Not much else to report

thanks to the world peace we've always had

because everyone is a clone of me.

MacCody.

Let's move on to sports,

which quite frankly aren't very good

because everyone's pretty evenly-matched.

But in soccer news, MacManchester United

beat MacLiverpool this week

when MacPaul Pogba tied a paint can to the macgoal

and swung it into the advancing team

killing several.

Anyway that's the news.

(robot voice) We Are Macaulay Culkin.

We are mac-ternal.

No macman nor macbeast can resist the macening.

- Hi. Here's some news.

Everything is pretty much the same in this timeline.

I'm pretty much the same Cody as the one you know.

The nation's truffle supply is up 200%

as the last human hideout has been successfully located-

Raise your drinkpods of news milk for the oldest-

'Tis the cruelty pit of pint of this magistration.

♪ Welcome to the news ♪

Star wars.

(calm music)

Well Doc

it's destroyed

just like you wanted.

Wow, I do not need whatever this is.

Is your name Cody?

Cody Johnston?

Yeah. I got something for you.

Dear past Cody, if my calculations are correct,

you will have received this letter

immediately after we exploded time.

I have sent this Hitler mustache Cody

because I thought it would be pretty funny.

But we don't have much time.

As I vanish from your timeline screaming and in pain,

I wanted to share my one regret.

That I never watched the film "Tomorrowland".

Your friend in time, Future Cody.

And they're just a bunch of crude drawings.

Okay.

Just one question.

Shoot.

Why do you have a Hitler mustache?

Why do people keep calling it that?

That this is clearly a Chaplin mustache.

Wait, did you not have a Hitler in your timeline?

No, we had one, he just didn't have a mustache.

Oh,

so you're from a world

where the Chaplin mustache is still popular.

Oh no, not at all.

It's actually pretty frowned upon

after Chaplin wiped out all of Canada.

Anyway, got to go.

Hail Chaplin.

That was a lot to take in.

But okay, I guess I'll watch "Tomorrowland".

I know I said I wouldn't and I don't want to,

but it's what I would have wanted.

So that movie was too long.

Too long for a movie.

Not sure why movies should be that long.

But okay, holy shit

I guess I should have watched "Tomorrowland".

Because it's kinda sorta definitely

extremely relevant to all of this.

And that's my arc?

That's a real shame.

So the film is about Frank Walker,

who grew up a child of the World's Fair,

retro-futurism generation.

And then became a cynical George Clooney type,

talking about how the future is damned

while looking right at the camera.

- Hi, I'm Frank. How are you doing?

Don't answer that, that's rhetorical.

Okay.

Let's get you up to speed.

This is a story about the future.

The future

can be scary.

What?

- [Girl] You sure you want to go with scary?

- [Frank] Yes. I want to go with scary.

- Okay. - Okay.

The future can be scary.

Unstable governments,

overpopulation,

wars on every continent,

famine,

water shortages,

environmental collapse,

- [Girl] And scientific breakthroughs.

Wonder and beauty.

- Could you please just stop interrupting.

- Jeez Clooney get your own thing.

That and being handsome is Cody's thing.

And occasionally George Carlin's thing.

- Welcome to the future.

San Dimas, California, 2688.

And I'm telling you it's great here.

The air is clean.

The water is clean.

Even the dirt is clean.

Bowling averages are way up,

mini golf scores are way down

and we have more excellent waterslides

than any other planet we communicate with.

I'm telling you this place is great.

But it almost wasn't.

You see, 700 years ago,

the two great ones

ran into a few problems.

So now I have to travel back in time to help them out.

- Remember the opening of "Bill & Ted",

where George Carlin describes

this exact kind of Jetsons future

that's also coincidentally in "Tomorrowland"?

But also the polar opposite of George Clooney's intro

in "Tomorrowland" and like

Carlin's actual attitude in his standup.

- Fuck you!

- Anyway, too many Georges.

Back to Cloons.

While the Cloons sits there, looking at the camera,

talking about how we're all doomed,

he gets heckled by a younger, more optimistic young girl.

A real zoomer piece of shit.

- Could you please just stop interrupting?

- [Girl] I will. Just try to be a little more upbeat.

- Upbeat?

- Yeah, tell them what you like.

- I can't tell them anything if you keep interrupting me.

- We learned that all of the wicked smarts of the world

abandoned the idiocrasy

and fucked off to this Tomorrowland place.

Where they could solve all the world's problems

without the distraction of politics or stupid people.

And for that reason,

"Tomorrowland" is super advanced

in the embodiment of that optimistic future

we all kinda pictured as kids.

The Bill & Ted world.

Then we cut to now.

Now being the year the movie was made.

That year being 2015, nice timing.

And we meet that Zoomer Casey,

who is super bummed out at all the adults in her life

seemingly haven given up on the future.

Her teachers specifically call out

the dystopian stories of the past

as what is currently happening in the country.

- Huxley's "Brave New World",

Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451",

Orwell's "1984",

once considered fiction,

these futuristic novels are actually happening right now

and they seem to be getting worse.

Yes, Miss Newton.

- Can we fix it?

- Yeah that seems relevant.

Way, way too relevant.

I kinda hate how relevant it is.

So then the Zoomer, Clooney,

and a robot child go back to Tomorrowland

decades after we first see it.

Only to discover it in shambles.

See what happened is that the scientists of Tomorrowland

gained the ability to see into the future,

and learned unequivocally,

that humanity is going to end

in a really short amount of time.

They see floods and droughts and war and extinction.

They have a timer and everything.

A set 100% calculation that it is unavoidable.

And the machine that predicts the end of days it turns out,

was designed to subconsciously warn the world

that disaster was coming so that we could avoid it.

But instead of doing that

it just bummed out all of humanity

into thinking there was nothing we could do.

And we started making movies and TV shows

based on that idea and it became a feedback loop.

- The probability of widespread annihilation kept going up.

The only way to stop it

was to show it.

To scare people straight.

What reasonable human being wouldn't be galvanized

by the potential destruction

of everything they've ever known or loved?

To save civilization,

I would show its collapse.

How do you think this vision was received?

How do you think people responded

to the prospect of imminent doom?

They gobbled it up like a chocolate eclair.

They didn't fear their demise, they repackaged it.

It can be enjoyed as video games,

as TV shows,

books, movies,

the entire world wholeheartedly embraced the apocalypse

and sprinted towards it with gleeful abandon.

- Instead of helping,

the people of Tomorrowland

have decided to abandon the rest of the world.

Building a sort of

dimensional wall if you will

to keep out the undesirables.

Fortifying their privileged life

in anticipation of a disaster.

Hmmm.

And then it turns out that the only way to stop it

is to destroy the time machine.

Because as we learn,

it's the feedback loop that's the problem.

The cynicism causing the disaster.

And the willingness of the younger generation

to actually try and change the future

is the thing that changes the future.

At least by a fraction.

- It's accepted there is a world where I know

with absolute certainty,

the exact time of your death.

Now you want me to tell you or not?

- Of course I would.

Who wouldn't?

But

what if

accepting my death is what causes it?

So the answer is yes,

I would want you to tell me,

but I wouldn't believe you.

- You have to believe me.

- Why?

Don't we make our own destiny and stuff?

- So,

yeah.

Movie where a bitter old guy talks directly at the camera

about how the future sucks

and tries to fix it with time travel

and then destroys the time machine

and therefore the concept of fatalist cynicism

to actually fix the future.

Seems like a silly idea for a movie,

but I guess it is the film I kinda needed to watch.

It's not good,

and George Clooney has a semi-romantic relationship

with a robot child in that film

and that's

that's odd.

So I guess that bitter weird Cody wasn't entirely wrong

about a lot of things.

Not sending the Hitler mustache guy,

that was

that wasn't a great move.

But maybe we are in the opening crawl

of some dumb dystopian movie.

And maybe it's very easy to assume,

based on everything movies tell us,

that we're going to be one of the last generations.

We've been conditioned by the media to expect as much

and reality isn't helping,

and it's easy to just give up because of that.

And imprint that doomsaying headspace

onto the next generation.

But maybe that's not a great thing to do

because it's not a movie.

There's a reason the opening text is the opening text

and not the movie itself.

Because movies always go as far as

the most dramatic version,

the worst case version.

For fun.

In a way, they are the most cynical outlook on the future.

Because you can't tell a dramatic story of revolution

without first introducing horrible oppression, right?

We're never going to watch stories

about humanity doing the work to avoid these scenarios.

There are no movies about scientists

warning a president of something,

everybody heeding that warning

and doing the work to avoid the disaster.

Because that would be boring

and undramatic and just involve a lot of people talking.

- That's inconvenient and time consuming.

- We've internalized that a bit.

And it's easy to forget that,

to forget that it's never too late to do the boring,

less cinematic work

of avoiding some kind of fascist dictatorship

or superheated wasteland

or whatever they were trying to warn us about in "Zardoz".

But like, man I dunno.

I dunno what this is supposed to be.

I'm sorry Zardoz.

I don't know what you're trying to tell me.

But we can avoid it, ya know?

Whatever that uh is.

We didn't get a moon landing.

All of the big events in our lifetime

have been fucking tragic.

And while I wish I could say that

things will get better soon,

they probably won't.

There will be other smarter, more purposeful fascists

after Trump.

And all the problems with wealth inequality

and police brutality and climate change and so on,

they'll all still be there no matter who wins this election

or the one after that.

Yes, one option is definitely better than the other.

There appears to be an entire political party

that is spiraling out of control right now.

One of the seemingly foundational beliefs

of conservatives in this country,

their mantra,

is simply that everything is fine the way it is.

Nothing to see here.

No need to complain.

Everyone is over exaggerating.

Let's go two steps back.

Don't worry about coronavirus.

No, systematic racism isn't a big deal.

Cops aren't bastards.

No, climate change isn't a problem.

Because humans can adapt to all kinds of things.

That phrase, climate change, by the way,

was first pushed in the political sphere

by the Bush administration,

as revealed from a 2003 memo

where Republican consultant Frank Luntz

recommended they say that

instead of the more common global warming

because they felt the latter was too frightening.

Because again,

you don't want to alarm people.

- I wanted to always play it down.

I still like playing it down

because I don't want to create a panic.

- They do this in the face of overwhelming science

and fact and evidence.

And after Trump, they learned just how much of this

they can get away with.

And now to see it in broad daylight,

makes you feel like you're losing your mind.

It's literally the evil guy from the movies.

It makes you think about all the films

that lampooned or warned us

about this exact kind of mindset.

And you can't help but to conclude that you're in one.

And give up.

Or sink to their level.

Or for some people these days, to want the apocalypse.

To crave it.

But the liars, who lie,

aren't wrong about one thing.

Humans can adapt to problems like climate change

by not listening to people like them.

We can make it out okay

by panicking and doing something.

Humans, when their backs are against the wall, survive.

As a species.

That's what we do.

But human beings have a concept of time

and cause and effect

and don't have to wait

until our backs are against the wall.

This is the hilarious gap conservatives are missing

when they talk about how we don't need to panic

and everything will be just fine,

we'll figure it out.

The reason they think that

is because other smarter people did panic

and are working to fix the thing

and therefore that thing just might be fine.

It's all those times where grifters like Candace Owens

will show how coronavirus estimates have lowered

as proof that we're over-reacting

not realizing that the numbers went down

because we took measures.

They're like children.

They're little dumb children

that we have to drag with us towards progress.

And when we do find solutions to things like climate change,

they'll use the fact that we're all not dead

to prove that there was never a need to panic.

So yes, things are scary.

But we're not stuck in the opening crawl.

We're just still in the opening crawl.

We can change things.

It feels like the end of the world

and we need to panic a little about that,

but then use that panic to do the work to fix it.

No matter how many dipshits get in our way.

And we humans are good at that.

So ultimately, we have nothing to fear.

Especially fear itself.

We like fear.

Fear is how we solve this.

So of course of course I'm gonna just

tweet as hard as I can to do my part in tweeting.

Gotta tweet. Always tweet.

I mentioned the new "Bill & Ted" earlier,

which and again, spoilers,

ends on the revelation that it's not Bill or Ted

who possess the ability to fix the future,

but rather their two kids.

And in the film they actually step aside

and give control to the next generation,

while still supporting their instincts and decisions.

As Kristen Schall's character says at one point.

- Well, I'm trying to save the world too mother.

It's not like your generation's done that great.

- They don't trust the fungus, they trust Daisy.

Or in terms of "Tomorrowland",

it's the Zoomer kid's optimism.

Not her ability to solve the problem,

but her willingness to seek a solution.

The important part of that solution,

aside from that word movie generations talks about

and the older generations giving up

their stranglehold on power,

is that everyone is on the same page.

Playing the same song,

which turns out to be the goal of "Bill & Ted".

The song isn't what unites the world,

it's the fact that the world unites over the goal

of playing the song.

In the same key.

Tools in hand.

Led by the kids,

the youth.

So I guess,

watch "Bill & Ted Face The Music".

It's fun.

Good work um

the "Bill & Ted" writer

Ed Solomon

whose credits include "Men In Black",

the original "Bill & Ted"

and the "Super Mario Brothers" movie.

Should have known.

- The goombas are dancing again.

- All right so the point is that this shitty timeline

is the only one we have,

and a brighter future is possible, it just requires work.

And to keep working even if the cartoon villain

gets defeated.

Which means it's up to me,

and only me,

right now,

to drive to my old studio

and get that goddamn backdrop myself.

(motivational music)

Well now I am back to my familiar situation,

having changed allegedly.

This could have been delivered to me, you have no idea.

But we did it folks.

We got my old backdrop back

and along with it slightly less despair for

I don't know

a few weeks or something.

And all it took was an adventure

that was probably well over two hours long.

Wow, probably didn't need to be that long, ya know?

A lot of extra stuff that didn't have to be there.

You did it Cody.

You fixed the tone.

I knew you had it in you.

Well hey there mysterious old man.

I'm you.

So, hey, if you didn't want me to mess with time-travel,

why did you give me the time device in the first place?

Oh, you know,

I'm pretty old and had nothing really going on.

But what's important is that you finally learned your lesson

or whatever.

And now the movie is over

and we can all reinvigorate ourselves with the hope

for the possibility of heading towards

a potentially brighter future.

It's like Luigi Luigi says

- Nothing's possible Mario.

Improbable, unlikely, but never impossible.

- And sure I can undercut this entire thing

by a bunch of really depressing facts about climate change.

Like really easily

Hold on. I'll look.

Nope. Nevermind.

But hey,

new backdrop!

Time to go out and smell that fresh air.

I mean

still a pandemic right now so

Forgot about that.

Then the election still has to happen

and who knows what that'll bring.

Plus the wildfires.

Honestly, we're not at a big dramatic transition just yet,

but you know,

I will be here with my new backdrop

being rightfully pissed off and panicked,

but a bit more hopeful.

No matter what happens for

again, I don't know, like a couple of weeks at least.

Well, good for you.

So here is some news.

Oh, it's over. Okay. Well.

No, wait by stock in acorns. Darn he's gone.

Acorns are all the rage now.

Now that the hogs have taken over.

That's my problem to solve.

Not his.

Yet.

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Welcome to the news ♪

♪ I'm gonna read some news to you ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Welcome, here's the news ♪

♪ I'm gonna feed this news to you ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

- Oh,

wow.

Oh,

here's the news.

I got messed up.

Man, wish I had a time machine so I could go back and party

even fucking harder bro.

Wait, what's that?

Oh here we go again.

- Hey everybody.

Thanks for watching till the end.

Are you tired?

I am tired.

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