Self Medicated: A Film About Art (FULL MOVIE)

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let's change me

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there are two sides of the art world

there's at least two sides there's the

pros those are the guys that are in

there signed by Gagosian and Mary Boone

and these huge names and they're sold at

Sotheby's and their work goes for

hundreds of thousands or in this low

millions or whatever you know there's

those guys and then there's the rest of

us the rest of us aren't making enough

on our art to survive as artists so what

do we do we get jobs you know we're not

on we're not on welfare we're working

people nobody gave us the silver spoon

and said hey you're an artist now you

are liberated from from everything real

all you have to do is what's in your

mind and create that's more of something

that we have to do is self medication

that's what the antagonist is therefore

we are the other guys and now we're

actually building and getting bigger and

bigger and our works getting better and

everything's kind of coalescing and the

more that we travel the more that we do

these shows and and meet all these

different connections all over the world

and the more of a force we become you

know we're never gonna be Jeff Koons I

think we were gonna take it as far as we

can so I know that you guys did a mural

downtown I overheard you guys talking

and you guys will said this is our first

I've never do it in Europe

well we found these these old drawings

girls from what were they like from like

the 50s and 60s they're like the dress

pattern you know you survived to like

make your kids clothes right

really para nice pants

I gotta go buy new pants on the fly no I

could I could take I can use my hand

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the antagonist Tsar kind of the school

in a bar every Thursday you go and

whether you are showing or you're not

showing you are critiquing and you are

active you're in a conversation and

you're embracing people and you meet so

many weirdos and so many people that

later down the line ten years down the

line they're your friends still it is

kind of like school in that way first

rule at the antagonist movement is you

do what you say you're gonna do

the second you break that rule you're

full of no one wants to work with

you anymore

and I think that that's really a big

lesson in life and if you say that

you're gonna have work at the show on

Thursday night and you don't show up

with work at eight o'clock done

blacklisted you're never showing there

again it was just like that so you

better be there eight o'clock with your

work to hang so your shows ready by 9:00

the second thing that we learned was

quick installation fixing problems

everything that went along with the

antagonist and cleaning up and being

respectful I had no idea about how much

respect you have to give to get a little

bit back but it really you do you got to

be clean you got to be punctual you got

to be on time you got to be respectful

these are lessons that that should be

taught in school and are not so nice to

say like I don't look at it as like a

school that I went to it to school I'm

still going to if I didn't have the

outlet like the antagonist movement I

would have been crazy I don't

even think I live in New York City if I

didn't have the antagonist movement I'm

kind of nomadic by nature I would have

moved on a long time ago now I found my

home in Brooklyn I can't leave but a lot

of that is the artist community that we

built in the family that I've kind of

created through my friends

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it's up to you but I think we'll do it

like a quick guitar overdubs that sound

good it's just to thicken the guitars up

and then we'll dive right into the

vocals and back

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you

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since we met the antagonist movement

last year we found that we share a lot

of the same work ethic and their mission

statement something that we can really

get behind they really inspired us to do

a lot of things we've been doing more

shows we started our own collective

called stout City Texas as well as a

record label that helps independent

bands get noticed so we do a podcast

called the old man embittered girl

podcast or ome G podcast we had this

idea to make a zine branched off from

the podcast Tim does all the writing and

stuff work so I sit here after he gets

all the work together and do all the

layout a fanzine is it's an amateur made

magazine it can cover any kind of genre

like music art it's a labor of love

there's something about somebody putting

something and especially on printed

paper that to me is like a lost art if

you want to start a revolution

distribute some literature man put your

opinion out there and see what happens

back in the 1830s they had a cannon that

was stationed in Gonzales Texas the

whole town showed up with guns and the

cannon was posted up ready to fire and

they hoisted this flag they had a cannon

on it and it said come and take it

they're very interesting monster because

you have so much room to work with so

much room to play with you're not stuck

to you a certain format and with the

zine you have complete creative control

the style can vary I have seen some

scenes out there that literally look

like someone just got a whole bunch of

photos collage it together with some

glue and then took a typewriter and

typed it out we live in a small town

it's nothing like New York or a big city

and I grew up in an even smaller town

there life that we had in reality was so

mundane and when I discovered punk rock

when I was a kid it was my answer for

this shitty stale life here in this town

everything's blank everyone's trying to

make all their lawns pretty and great

and it's like something out of Edward

Scissorhands and as everything's trying

to be so prefabricated it's not nice it

sucks it's plain it's boring but out of

that cookie cutter fabric if you make

cookies and you keep punching that

mold down in there you're gonna

have all this excess crap that's

though over where the eggs is crap and I

love it I love being the excess crap

because that's the first thing one gets

eaten by the cook well I grew up in a

really really small town of about 2,000

people and this type of lifestyle is not

necessarily looked very highly upon and

I never really fit in anywhere and I

kind of humbled myself and read a lot

when I was younger I've I went through a

bad stage of depression my mom she was

very active in the church and there was

a guy there who gave bass lessons and I

had them playing for a while and so he

kind of took me under his wing and

taught me bass from there I met a crew

of people we kind of started our own

band at 16 and would save my life was

the music and the people that I met and

I finally found a place where I fit in

where I wasn't just you know I don't

know yeah it it was nice to feel like I

was a part of something like I was doing

something important and that kind of

transpired to you that art it it's kind

of become a driving force to keep me

going and to keep me from falling back

into the dark spots that so it's so easy

to find and that's pretty much all I can

say I was about to start crying

hey everybody that's Tim with the OMB G

podcast and in the studio with us today

is Ethan Minsker that I said that

correctly even yep all right awesome

with the antagonist movement and he's in

town for the Victoria Texas Film

Festival and we definitely we talked

with Rubio and Chris a little bit

earlier but I wanted to actually talk to

you a little bit more about it because I

know you are a founding member of the

antagonist art movement is that correct

yep and tell us a little bit about how

it started if you don't mind sure well

I'd like to say you know it's three of

us in a bar

Anders Olson who's a painter excellent

painter Sergio Vega you guys might know

him as a bass player for a band called

quicksand and also the Deftones

it sounds like a joke but a filmmaker

writer artist musician walk into a bar

walk into a bar but we all actually

worked in the bar together New York City

is a bunch of people trying to do

something creative there wasn't really a

lot of outlets for you to do anything

unless you were bringing in a lot of

money for the gallery we just wanted to

create a place where we could first off

show our own work and also the work of

our friends and then figuring there's

probably a larger community out there of

people who need a place to show and

around what year was that that was 2000

okay so it's been going on for quite a

quite some time now 13 years and over

the ups and downs that you guys have had

you guys have actually branched out even

more than a lot of things overseas

they're talking about world domination

yes I understand that we weren't really

setting out to get a bunch of ranches in

different countries or any of that thing

it's by the virtue of nature of our

events that we had an open call for

artists we started receiving artist

submissions from all over the world

having an artist come from Berlin having

an artist come from South America or

having people find out about us from our

projects then led us to other countries

when you see like a first-time artist

their first show finally getting

questions asked about themselves and

being able to talk about the art that's

got to be probably one of the best

feelings in the world and that's an

amazing thing because a lot of times all

you need is a chance and that chance can

lead to something more

there's some artists out there that

really have talent but they don't have

the ability to have a venue or get shown

and if you can just say to them here's a

chance do the best you can it might lead

to the next thing

briefly like the benefits of having

writers artists screen printers all in

the same group that it's the concept of

mixing and matching and we are open to

all types of art and by being open to

all types and all forms of art then you

can expand not just your knowledge but

what you do creatively

I see the antagonist movement as

starting really more like six months or

a year before it actually started

because it was just a conversation that

a lot of us were having especially I

remember me and Ethan having this on

Wednesday nights when we work together

there was an antagonist that worked in a

bar in the East Village

every night of the week basically was us

going around to different bars and

hanging out and getting drunk and making

t-shirts and making art and setting up

shows and from the first time we did an

event there was a ton of people there

there was way more people than were in

the bar the Thursday prior to that and

then when we did our first group show we

had a line out the door and down the

block on 7th Street and Avenue a I say

almost immediately I realized that it

was gonna be something bigger than just

you know five or six of us hanging out

in a bar talking so it started

growing immediately and it's just

continued to go ever since then that was

just in the East Village now we're you

know they have shows in Berlin and

Lisbon and Ecuador in a few months

Chihuahua Mexico City so I'm always

excited at how big it keeps getting and

what the next thing is that happens

you'll see

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we

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there was a point where I didn't have to

make art I did it cuz it was fun and I

liked it and the switching point to

where it became something that I had to

do was me thinking about how I was

raised and the religion I was raised in

and whether or not I believed what I was

taught my whole life and I really I came

to a conclusion that I didn't so it's a

major thing that was probably around

like 25 or something and when I lost my

religion it was painful psychologically

emotionally on a lot of levels and art

is my way of finding my religion again

for me personally there's like only two

choices and one is doing lots of drugs

and the other is doing art instead of

doing dope I do art kids

when I was about six years old they

discovered I was dyslexic the severe

learning disability I had problems with

codes and symbols translation between

the two meaning reading and writing and

math were all things that were difficult

for me I excelled in comprehension

I could understand complex theories but

when it came to reading and writing my

skills were way behind the other kids my

age it is not easy growing up with a

learning disability and people don't

really understand what that means I

don't see things differently but I

learned early on there were ways to get

around that by having people reading

over what I write I was never going to

be like normal kids making art is a way

of capturing and controlling at least

one small element of my life since

writing and those things were taken away

from me doing fanzines and writing

novels became a very important goal for

me would the antagonist movement they

they provided me with the assistance and

help they support what I'm doing because

they have faith in the projects

themselves when it comes to my own

depression I don't think it's anything

unique the times that I haven't worked

on my art I felt cut off from the world

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I grew up in Washington DC in the 70s

and 80s moved to New York in 1988 and I

had a lot of friends that sir come to

the violence if I could just make one

piece of artwork that could live as a

memorial to myself or a marker on a

gravestone that I would be happy and

maybe that's part of the creative

process that I need to go through that

drives me to work on the next project

but the reality is I'll probably never

be happy with anything that I make I

think at some point every artist thinks

about their audience and who they're

making their work for and for me that's

always been one person and that is my

daughter

before she was even born when she was

only a concept by writing the books and

making the films and doing this artwork

was a way that I could have a personal

relationship with my daughter even if I

wasn't around

I think being an artist probably means

you're a little bit crazy

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can she come there she goes sweet steps

clusters of rounded corners

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yo estoy trabajando Kunis antagonistic

Milius it was just a low growl the

Swindall going to are gonna spray into

the the main art this place the

communica Sokka your pho swear on you

know los que me ayudara encontrar Abajo

ya know her solo they've Macedo the

wreckage endo platters and restaurants

you know involve chairman in Ostrava the

bull crowds coming artist estoy haciendo

puro Vega soon at least our legendary

akin involve early in the ministry Moon

Valley the other odd pay yes in the

lumen taksasila this position is entosis

her cocido importante para para este

proceso como from artiste document estar

aqui no your men are you da mucho Kurata

Minka assume interesante intended

trabajan colectivo casting porque yo

vengo da Hannah you called me to come

colectivos secular antagonist asan

distintos NS a Punto

second awesome politico's se que siempre

se trata and le are de las casas

políticas to your consider una persona

we political person eres tan shall

respect away

so the nurses and dealer so many

uncommon group apoyo muy importante key

and you know special men to cook a toast

and individually style a hint a star

simply well in Sandin or tsuyoi in the

South he just won't come grupo de amigos

que c'est un exist in Quentin trabajo

you can say apollyon special mental

kumar testosterone scale Casillas

importante por otro lado creo que el

Waianae quod vos said bueno para que in

quaint remote transformers the trabajan

colectivo callus removal your super

angels they know it was not experiential

in America

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creo que la primera vez recently there

are a myriad of a condo in the a Quattro

an Uzi possess or your bosses so it

caused us in America most are enemy

control him from a failure mid-may

bothered me he ultimately workup and

sub-dominant angle classes classes

classes classes classes a trip idea

una forma in a careless place you saw a

totally maintain a paradise out there or

in imagine not like Lucas until oh okay

that person came as me help Anakin

deliver yeah so far so funny you took

the info but monotonous those annuals we

start which was the tourists in familiar

with Roku palace okay tell me another

menial at all miss Polly dad hasta que

this female don't do psychiatric a dijo

que algo muy interesante typical storage

is considered a low drag a lo que la

gente not rescued to rather for the

outside Paris when officio provincial

comunidad y esto que me dio later the

explorar me the singing

como ant in the end o el el miedo until

the end of a mirror Alan Alan to Suzie

O'Keefe Nicosia retarding you serious a

SS see sentimiento a control hablo

there's a Bluebird Canyon service

as a love serve our real Mentalist

person to season live o hadouken email

you observe our elemental as custodian

all of the tragedy otra vez entrap

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massive array siento que esto es endo lo

que tengo que hacer para una subida

entosis creo que el arte man ha sido la

comida y special mental documents

Ignacio command of allah sobre poner may

reveal signior revealed from ganas de

descubrir el Mysterio bellavita yeah

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our society is filled with branding you

can't really go anywhere especially in

New York City without having someone's

brand being forced upon you to deny that

would be a waste of effort you as an

artist should get out there and push

your work force it upon people make them

realize who you are the people that are

offended by that you probably do not

want as your audience anyway you're

looking for like-minded individuals and

the people that will respond to that the

people that take the time to get to know

your work those are the people that you

want to build up a longer relationship

with everybody else is null and void

they do not matter they do not fit into

the equation of what you are doing

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clothes and stop them with hey

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the antagonist movement for me was a

complete lifeline when I moved to New

York I moved in 2004 and even though I

was born here I didn't have a lot of

friends per se but I did have an old

friend from high school named Ethan

Minsker and when I moved to the city I

instantly had a support network

community of people reason to make art

and even a job which is something that

we do in the antagonist movement is

we'll try to help each other get work so

it's more than just art shows it's very

supportive community which helps us in

every part of our lives so much to the

bar owners chagrin Ethan hired me under

their noses and so I started working

Thursday nights in the East Village

helping set up the art for our art shows

in our bar night which is one of the

ways we used to fund projects in the

antagonist movement is we got a small

percentage of a night at a bar and it

was an incredible tenure even though it

was about seven years when I was trying

to get art shows like I still AM I would

always have some relatives say well why

don't you just take your stuff into a

gallery and show them be aggressive if

this is what you really want to do you

should try this well that's not how it

works no one walks into a gallery and

gets a show in New York the commercial

gallery system is locked it's locked and

unless you went to the right schools or

your parents or famous art collectors

you are not gonna be able to cold-call a

gallery I still don't know how to do it

eight years on we were instrumental in

giving a lot of people their first shows

in New York and while it wasn't a show

in a commercial gallery in Chelsea or

Soho or 57th Street for a lot of people

it meant just as much I oftentimes had

people say this is my first show in New

York and I just moved here I can't

believe it so it was incredibly

rewarding in that sense and we also got

a lot of really cool things done it gave

people a boost

the bar night was amazing because a lot

of the people that were volunteering

helping out setting up the shows showed

up every week like it or not sick or

tired cold or raining or whatever and it

was a great motivator as well as a great

reason for us all to get together every

week since we've lost that I don't know

how we're gonna keep it going as focused

and concentrated as we have in the past

when I was an adolescent I had a very

traumatic year and I turned to music and

art as a way of coping with it you know

even in school counseling or church no

one talks about that sort of thing the

dark things depression and mental

illness and alcoholism I mean

emotionally I think I just wanted to

escape but as a mode of life art is an

incredible edifying practice so the way

of looking that art provides me enhances

being alive and I don't see it as a

therapy for another way of living what I

found was a community of people who

didn't just take things for granted or

take things for their surface value

didn't accept what corporate culture was

telling them or forcing them to buy you

know I've never really looked back there

is no other way of living for me at this

point

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Sunday

like barks either my friend brain reader

writer Richard hello this story is

actually edited from a larger story and

it's probably one of the most

embarrassing moments in my life I hope

you enjoy it I did it's the summer of

1980 the second summer since relocating

to Florida from Oakland I'm 16 and the

70s are over the White House has an

actor in it and I hope this term will be

as ineffective as his acting career 11

years ago in 2002 the antagonist

movement put together Fahrenheit which

is an open mic reading series presented

at black and white bar from 8:00 to

10:00 every Sunday night and it's been

ongoing Sunday night ritual at black and

white it was weekly and it's now monthly

we used to have themes we actually when

it first started it was a contest people

voted on who was the best writer that

that particular night it was like a

silent vote we've had every type of

writer in there we've had comics we've

had poets we didn't encourage poetry at

first we actually threatened to throw

things at poets but eventually they

worked their way in it was mostly short

stories it was a challenge for people to

get up there and write a story about

something mostly personal in their lives

you know because we draw on our own

experiences from what we've lived and my

first experiences doing that was

difficult because I was in standing in

front of a group of peers essentially in

a way you know sounds cheesy but naked

you know exposing myself and and and the

thing about reading at a mic as much as

the audience gets something out of the

actual reading it's hearing yourself and

hearing your words and hearing yourself

deliver those words to an audience I

mean the first few times I walked up to

the mic you can hear the paper shake and

my

for fun because I was so nervous about

what I was reading about I mean it's all

just my past it's nonfiction that might

be embellished it's funny to find how

you cover your own pain in your writing

like when you get too close to the fire

how you move away from it I went through

a certain phase of my life where I was

getting high and I was fresh out of a

rehab and I had a lot of stories in my

head but a lot of them were very

personal and it wasn't it wasn't the

easiest thing to sit down and write

about I eventually did and I remember

the first story I ever wrote was about a

friend of mine who was somebody I lived

with who wound up getting killed and me

having to deal with the cops and

identifying him and she looks like a

girl Varga misplaced and wanted back or

maybe she was designed by Hugh Hefner in

some secret bunny lab she was wearing

tight black jeans with pumps and two

thin belts slung low on her hips the

tube tops she wore was buckling under

the strain and as she got closer I could

see a pin on her book bag the clash this

has got to be a self-fulfilling

hallucination no high school girl looked

like her maybe she was 22 maybe she was

left back for years I have to talk to

her please God let her have been raised

fatherless in Catholic the sexual

ramifications could be staggering

creating something within that life in

that world you live in it takes you away

from it essentially and it also shows

you how to look at it in a different

light which is exactly what writings

done for me I see things in a different

light now I hear the sound of heels

getting closer Andy's face looks like

that of a dog with its head out the

window going for a joyride I turn and

it's her wearing a dress she poured

herself into and fishnets like an

electric fence to the promised land she

hands me a pill here have one and with a

full belly of cheap wine I swallow

without taking my eyes off of her are

you going in I asked maybe let's go for

a walk I feel a wave crash over me what

was that pill a quaalude I shut my car

door can you undo this yeah yeah still

seated with the steam and the sweat

coating the wind

my car I look up and vomit all over both

of us all the cheap wine and quaalude

residue that filled my gut we washed up

in the surf fell asleep in the car we

saw each other a few more times and then

she was gone the smell of tickle pink

lasted longer Thanks

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from the start the antagonist movement

has tried to avoid the political issues

in 2000 everybody was pushing to the

left or to the right and now it's even

worse I think if you want to have a

group that's inclusive you have to leave

politics to the side we are an art group

our focus is on art not the politics of

it each individual artist can express

their own politics through their

individual art but the overreaching

theme of the group should be free of

politics if you took a survey of the

artists we work with I would say we are

overwhelmingly liberal but at the same

time we don't want to discourage the

conservative artists out there from

being involved with us if you believe

yourself to be a free thinker then you

shouldn't be intimidated by the views of

somebody else and I do think there is a

political aspect to what we do but that

resides in the economics of art I

appreciate the art market in New York

City it has its points and it has its

values but what it can't do is provide a

space for unproven and unknown artists

the antagonist movement exists in that

space between obscurity and the

commercial art world most of us work on

these projects put our own money into

these projects we lose money everybody

in our group would love to make an

income off of their art when we're

creating work we worry about the

integrity not the buyer and I think

that's the difference between making

something that's commercial and

non-commercial when it comes to art if

you leave room for those unheard voices

you may discover something that is truly

unique and truly amazing something that

will inspire us all

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a first off let me set the stage

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I'm gonna find a member

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she made

I became involved with the antagonist

movement in 2009 and started doing

curating shows and participating shows

in 2010 and as the year had progressed

ultimately I was asked to be part of the

next project which was called the dolls

of Lisbon taking place in Lisbon

Portugal after working there for 10 days

and having a life-changing experience

came back and the group offered me the

opportunity to go back to school and why

you a Heyman Center for philanthropy and

fundraising in order to form our other

organisations citizens for the Arts

which is completely separate from the

group but has the same mission statement

in order to help foster and develop

other artists in areas where they be a

little lesser-known when people say

you're not political enough I don't even

know what that means I don't agree with

that statement whatsoever and if that's

the case if you want to be political go

to some other group this group likes to

support people they like to have

communities grow they like to work with

other artists I mean at least have

something we know you have a common goal

and you're working towards the same

thing I don't think it needs to be all

about politics and it's important to

know that there is someone out there who

is willing to show your work investigate

your work and really not not be afraid

to support what you're doing so it's

important for artists to know that they

don't have to work alone there's other

outlets for them to work with other

people who do care about what they do so

when I was a little girl my parents had

a pretty rough breakup you know I was

really young I don't really remember

much of it was six years old but I do

remember the shitty things that happen

and I do remember not seeing my mom

because she had to work and we bounced

around with different relatives and it

sucked

man my dad he did some pretty cruel

things to separate the family and I did

it

some things I just can't forgive him

before I missed out on a lot of my

childhood I missed out of my mom sorry I

missed out on a lot of things where I

could have had a family and not and

understand a little bit better I don't I

feel like I don't have one still with

the exception of the group but um you

know he kind of just left us he didn't

care you know my brother was sick my mom

was sick so you're leaving three people

kind of to fend for themselves it's

really hard to talk about him because he

he still is very a selfish person he

doesn't care

I felt for a while I dropped off I felt

like I was just doing it to please other

people but really it was to validate

myself the reason why I still do art now

is I can't stop it's compulsive if I

stop by pace I don't know what to do

with myself all these things that I

don't want to think about come up it

almost the point where it's dwelling on

them and I don't I don't want to dwell

on anything I want to keep positivity

going this type of artwork that I do it

all has to do with the conversations

that you have with other people the

dialogue it all comes to a head in your

piece and in my pieces if you look at

them

part of its anger regret wishing that

things were different

an emotional lady and I express it

through my artwork the group is

definitely a huge part of my life in a

city of 8 million people

wherever you go there's always a friend

it's something that's warm and inviting

and we all have this common this common

understanding we may not be held

together by blood but we are held

together by the same core set of beliefs

and what we want to do and what we want

to accomplish and to me that's a family

someone who will always support you be

honest with you and tell you what's what

[Music]

I'd like to also say this is the fanzine

release party that Fantine comes out

maybe quarterly whenever we get around

to it we've been doing that fanzine

since 1988 so we're looking for stories

for that there's a contact in there we

can give you the info it's a 500 words

or less it also comes with a visual

artist that we're looking for our first

reader is gonna be Richard Allen I'm

going to read a story that Ethan put out

one of his fanzines that that's the

reason I chose this one I know the piss

eyed holding it is not going to

use it in the confines of this Bowery

flophouse but the rock cocaine making

his handshake and the faultiness of the

simple mechanism does have me

tingling I grew up in in Buffalo New

York in a Republican conservative Jewish

home my parents were upper-middle class

my dad was a World War two vet but

mostly I always thought of my dad as a

grumpy old Jew he had this temper that

was just out of control and he would

just lose his temper and I found his

temper frightening yet amusing a lot

like the opening of Stanley Kubrick's

Full Metal Jacket at the age of 12 I got

sent up from the dinner table for

misbehaving and my dad followed me up

into my bedroom where I had a little

microphone and a tape recorder and my AM

radio setup where I would record songs

off the radio so at 12 years old as I

was getting yelled at by my dad I hit

record on my microphone and I taped my

dad for the first time I continued

taping my parents until I was about 28

years old most of other chording were

done in the 1980s on a boom box which

had built-in microphones like the one

you see here my dad was a lot older than

me so he did not know that so

this first tape I'm gonna play for you

comes from my sophomore year in college

and this is the end of my winter break

I'm home with my family and I was 19

years old and I did what all 19 year

olds do it at 19 on a break I went out

with my friends every night we saw the

midnight movies we saw the wall in Rocky

Horror we saw bands we got drunk we got

stoned and I would come home at 4:30 or

5:00 in the morning that was just what I

did every night for four weeks this is

the last night of my winter break I met

my parents house I'm about to go to the

Greyhound station and my dad wanted to

have a talk with me about my last four

weeks among other things so January 1985

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

[Music]

there you go that's my dad I'll bring it

back in a few minutes thank you so

there's this book in another book I did

here at the library if anyone's a member

please pick it up and read it and let

people know this is a book about the DC

punk rock scene I was a teenager when

all of this happened so each chapter

starts with a song this chapter is the

circle the name of the

band is Swizz the song is won't breathe

for you and then I'll go right into the

story when your teeth fall from your

face I'll be there to catch them and

with your smile in my fist I'll do all

your smiling DuPont circles where all

the punks hang out said Lars you never

been there that's the end of that

chapter

good horrible that is so so you know

this is the first time I've ever read

out in public this is the first time no

I mean this is the first time I've ever

read in public

anywhere I'm like dyslexic I hate

reading in front of people so I can see

please

flying here bombs crashing and you cars

coming and your guns blasting they don't

affect me no more cuz I'm on the wrong

side crash

I got involved with the antagonist

movement it was I believe it was 2003 I

was DJing at this East Village bar

called Niagara I was playing rock and

roll there on on Monday nights and there

was a bartender there a bald guy and you

know we didn't really talk much my first

couple of weeks deejaying he's like you

know we have this thing called the

antagonist movement do these fanzines

you know writers stories here have one I

said okay thanks a lot and I felt

obligated that somebody gave me

something to read that I should actually

open it up and read it and the next week

I was back at the bar deejaying and I

said hey I read your fanzine man I

really enjoyed us it's really good stuff

so I go you should check it out we have

a bunch of stuff we have an art show we

have a writer's night what's the writers

night so know people write five-minute

stories and tell their stories hello

that's cool some time passed could I

come to the writers night and play a

tape of my parents and Ethan said that's

a great idea

you know we break the rules why don't

you come and do that I showed up with a

boombox and a tape of my dad and I going

at it and the crowd laughed and they

roared they thought it was hysterical

and I continued to play tapes of my

parents and after sitting there and

listening to people read their poems and

tell their stories I said well this

stuff's not that good I can write a

story I can write a story better than

what I'm hearing in this room and I

began to write after a couple years of

doing this weekly Sunday night thing I

had accumulated a lot of stories

Ethan Minsker said why don't we put a

little chat book together for you will

have some illustrators and some

animators and give me some photographs

when we'll have a book out believe it or

not in 2005 I didn't have a computer so

I would come to Ethan's house once a

week and sit there and I would type up

my stories because all of my stories

were done on paper with a pen we put out

my book it's called somewhere between a

punch and a handshake I believe it came

out in 2005 after years I've developed a

one-man show based around my stories and

the tapes of my parents it's a one-man

show with a slide show thanks to Ethan

and thanks to the antagonist movement

for giving me an opportunity it's

something I never thought of doing I

always wanted to perform

and entertain people but I never knew

what the platform for that would be and

the writers night the Farenheit got me

started

[Music]

I'll be on the road this is a magazine

[Music]

DVD Time magazine

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

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[Applause]

[Music]

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I first heard of the antagonist movement

through the dolls of Lisbon movie then

one of the members from the collective I

work with central dogma went to New York

and met some of the guys from the

antagonist through that connection I got

introduced to the motto sign so I sent a

mark work to to the family issue and it

got published - so then I traveled to

New York to meet the antagonist so we

can make a connection to work together

so they can come down to Ecuador to

participate at the street art festival

that we're on in Battle City which is a

little town in Ecuador at the beginning

I felt identified with the antagonist

movements and we have something similar

in Accra you know a bunch of artists in

different areas who work together what

really struck me about antagonist was

the relation they have between each

other and the community like you can put

together this shows for such a long time

and be so strong and constant about your

work you know how working in group it's

really hard and especially between

artists when you know the egos start to

compete but I find that the antagonist

movement is really open and friendly and

loving so I guess that's why it works so

well because every member gets accepted

as a family there's no such thing as

competition between artists I grew up in

a real small town a small city so all

the people at the time were really crazy

at the beginning I felt like I was the

only

same person in the whole town I

discovered my creative self and that

kind of saved my life because I was

drowning in depression and going crazy

for not fitting in when I started doing

our work at the beginning it was for

myself and I was so ashamed and shy to

show it who anybody come back from

school and just do my artwork and the

only person that knew I was painting was

my mom and she was really supportive and

she was like you should show it

somewhere like no way this will never

see the light ever when I was around 13

I think I just reached a point of

frustration and got really depressed

because I just felt I didn't fit in

anywhere and you know my city is like

three three three hundred thousand

people so it's a really small place to

grow up it and everybody is like you

know robots they all look alike they all

listen to the same music they all do the

same stuff and when you start to feel

different and you cannot you know

realize you know communicate as a normal

person with other people it just reached

a point where I stopped trying to fit in

I was like okay I'm a weirdo I'm a freak

and I'm going to accept this but you

know at that age you need friends you

need the social life you need to be

accepted so I decided I didn't want to

eat anymore or go to school

anymore I will just lie him in bed and

my mom would be like you need to go to

school and be like no way I'm not going

to that school and my mom will come and

she will dress me like literally take

out my pajamas and she will put the

clothes on me and be like okay stand up

you are going to school I was like

walking ghost trying all the time to be

low profile I started making art I

painted alone and and then when I was

like 21 or so I got this boyfriend that

I show some of the pieces and I used to

make pieces like this big really really

little and he was really respective like

you know you should do them bigger but

he never even saw them on detail or and

came back home and I was like really

frustrated like yeah I'm going to make

it bigger so I started making them a

little bigger and they have figured out

need them to be more bigger so when I

was shopping for a big canvas I was like

this is not picking up I'm going to

paint it on a wall outside that's when I

started researching for street artists

that could teach me something and then I

found this guy at my college and I went

to him and be like hey I want to paint

in a world they don't know a thing and

he was like you know what just go ahead

and paint it when I did that that's when

the thrill begin I just felt this

emotion that painting on the street

makes me feel it like when you paint

alone in your studio it's quiet and

you're by yourself but then when you are

out in the open and everybody's looking

at what you're doing specially if you're

a little shy about it like me like

electrifies my whole self getting people

to watch it and comment on it sounds and

street noise and the kids passing by and

being like hey look at this little girl

painting this little and you know how

the kids are always so interested in art

it's crazy so

fell in love with street art and that's

my thing I paint on walls and if ever

get took out of me I I guess I will go

back to be a crazy girl like at the

beginning when I didn't do that

[Music]

Ramu esto mi hermano Caballero casa el

abogado me amigo en el colegio de Lomo

esto los chicos la banda maha DSO me

gusta la pasilla de como que tu puedes

hacer la is until take on el derecho de

creer NT de que puedas express art de

que tu voz también es importante como

que tenga Manav and afiyah me para super

chair que piensa derecho de que la gente

puede Smoochum ek - la puerta de otra

vez un par de años compra de vacaciones

independientes CI malasiya

he'll okay pretend ellis es como una

plataforma multi-discipline area and on

the way uncle was a compare here

Barrios people at least Eskimo dicen

odorous evil Ceratosaurus and this has

plastic hose do you contest that to

Edoras graffiti rose street and sells

musicals or hunting clothes okay nothing

an awkward canary it's a tree become

folk express are separated means

publication SQL commands are enjoined on

a photocopier he the numerous taste and

trendline print it has been a recurrent

random printer so me say sang aguado

simply come

additionally meal nominalist a mucho

pinta gusta title bastante las Paredes

porque como intentar leave it as las

Paredes

the totem I must be super pero el

espacio grease entonces yo scribble

attainment significa as the two mismo

que in Spanish again English this is

clearly do it yourself

he says click on that dress DIY and toss

your screwball esto porque me you know I

may be spent and happens okay look up

what I said todos juntos as Milton como

una manera intent ala him to provoke a

reaction intentando okay your plans

really sultan en sus propios productos

scene sec at the Cal intermediary Oso

see mrs. a conclusive SEP acero no las

cosas por que mas que super chewy cat

Osama cougar yeah intentar aprender

haciendo cosas de nuevas entonces cuando

yo commence any process or me proyecto

antistick oh oh my project Oeste de

pintura de comenzar interocitor ma yo

como hacer como con cosas que todos para

hacer

no no no let's terminate Cataldo donello

mucho dinero

I mean make a video conocido stands in

us cuando Mila regalado porque lo que

más importante Fundy la production

graphic estaba mess no conseguir el

dinero por el más que el alkar say

economic o de ganancia con oficina es

muy limitada entonces que la motivation

no a day I become imagine como que la

gente puede general tono me attractive

cos antistick our cool to rallies que le

permit unless a real Peduto seen an era

un intermedia o cinisi a tener una

dependency a detectable director con

cualquier

Yoshio economica institution Oh medio

the production enters ok pants in a

cupola contrast of cost personnel

present super importante Desiree ah

fanciness Uriah's publication

independientes pork además

rom paint a - tuturro the day pollution

or the dependency i departed the product

or eat a part l consumidor

ask yourself

[Music]

whoa

[Music]

I got involved with the antagonist art

movement the first time when I saw their

film dolls of Lisbon it was submission

for fluid New Media Lab dystopia

exhibition we start playing it and all

the sudden I start seeing all these

artists that are from New York others

from Europe and a few from Ecuador even

like Latin America and I recognize some

of the characters but they were all

doing like these great pieces of work in

the street art after that I had like a

special connection with the film because

I had that experience that was a thrill

the second time I saw it we started

getting more familiar with the

characters at the point of presenting it

at the Queens Museum of Art during the

festival Ethan showed up I got to meet

ed and some other of the folks

personally and it was a really exciting

moment the antagonist really had their

their strategy together on how to

promote themselves I started to get even

more connected with the antagonists so I

was invited to planning meetings the

question was how and what can we do to

get to equal er which is the country

where I'm from the idea started to also

evolve into something that made sense

locally as well as it made sense for the

group eventually we all went to work

with the collective I have in a color

which is Dogma central and I was so

surprised to see that two collectives

had like similar projects similar lines

of work being involved with the

antagonist I was encouraged to be a

curator but through the group that I was

being pushed to kind of like do some

more profound writing to a little bit of

more research on other things that are

beyond what it's being presented to me

so I'm aware of the bigger picture of

the contemporary arts personally for me

being involved in the arts it is a way

to feel better about myself but I can't

do it on my own I feel insecure so I

need to be in a social environment to

make art I started to facilitate their

ideas and I noticed that I had a talent

for production I was serving my purpose

I felt sense of belonging before that I

feel like disconnected of society or

being minimized as somebody who wasn't

doing anything important before that I

was just a consumer but now I was a

participant first met the antagonist in

2007 year it was an optimum we met them

in Berlin to make their art show there

and during the film this is Berlin not

New York in Berlin and before I didn't

even know them and I have no idea what

the people are doing how we met them was

not the normal way you meet people

because a friend of us knew somebody who

was in New York she kept in touch with

the antagonist in Berlin we had a studio

she went by the studio one Sunday

afternoon and she came in and said oh I

know some people from New York they want

to come to Berlin and want to meet some

local artists doing some collaboration

at first I was a little bit surprised

because this doesn't happen that much

the thing is the contact never stopped

we met other people involved with the

antagonist they came to Berlin working

together with the antagonist in flu

us not only in an artistic way also it

influenced in the way we are doing the

projects now we did something comparable

or similar bringing artists together

from from other countries the good thing

is working together with the antagonists

you are in this group you know all these

people you can collaborate with them but

on the other side you have also time to

focus on your personal work I think

there's a really good balance between

these two sides

[Music]

for me personally doing artist somewhere

necessary because it's a way to deal

with myself with my thoughts when I'm in

a bad mood it's a good thing to go in

like very deep in this bad mood and to

like to swim a little bit in this bad

mood and then there's a point and it

makes like click and you say ok now it's

finished and I'm done with that and then

it's better

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I started making art on my own I guess

as a child the older I got the more I

became was more of a lifestyle than a

hobby there's something a carnal a need

that only can be filled with with art

making I once had a conversation with

Richard Hamilton he told me the only

thing better than heroin was art I kind

of feel that way too it fills this void

that I never found in in religion I

never found it in relationships or in

any other type of work I went for the

lifestyle if I neglect the studio for a

few months and go into like a dark place

with my head

[Music]

I have a few childhood memories of art I

was born in them in the Mission District

in San Francisco and it's covered with

murals this meals everywhere beautiful

beautiful great great works by Chicano

artists and the 70s and 80s Chicano art

movement was really alive in the mission

around the age of 12 maybe 11 its living

with my dad for the summer I didn't have

anywhere to go and I didn't have any

friends in the mission I didn't really

know anyone she stayed with my mom

during the year in Colorado so my dad

signed me up for a silk-screening class

in the mission cultural center and I met

this guy Mike Roman Tommy had a

silkscreen make my own t-shirts and

skateboards Tommy had a stencil this

became one of my bigger passions one of

my real one of the things I really like

to do then when I got back to school the

next year I had noticed there was

silkscreening stuff in the school and I

asked my my art teacher who hated me if

I could have used the silk-screening

stuff if I could make t-shirts she said

I wasn't experienced enough to be using

silks creams kind of put me off to art

but I was still doing it on my own I

actually made my own self screaming

studio in my house

[Music]

around 14 my uncle Bob took me to a

Keith Haring exhibition and it blew my

mind and I remember the most powerful

piece was in the final room there were

four pieces that were unfinished they

were and just finished in the corners

but not finished all the way because he

died before he could finish them and I

remember thinking that those were the

most important pieces in the show but

they actually showed how vulnerable he

could be and how vulnerable life is and

then after that I think I just really

wanted to be an artist no despite what

anyone said I had to be an artist thank

you

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

simple Buddhist cafe I'll piss off

pallulah not just a back end oh so a lot

of our artwork is somewhat related to

punk rock or that sort of New York City

vibe to it

we call it Brad art or punk art it

really encompasses all styles of art we

try to design our group to work like a

laboratory so that we can develop and

progress and maybe change art in some

way and even if we haven't been

successful at that yet our system allows

room for that try things that are not

necessarily have an economic benefit

kept that short pretty so I say that I'm

in the Academy because of that system

we've been allowed to not only show

street art without being a you know

bothered we show in the galleries in the

Lower East Side we show in the Chelsea

galleries we also show in the museum's

so from doing this we have

from tiny little thing into a larger

organization this workshop is based on

sign painting typography using quit

making methods it's called right see

talk some of you may be familiar with

typography some of you may not you see

it everywhere so you can't help but be

familiar with it these letter forms and

all the symbolism that you see it's been

used for thousands upon thousands of

years it's how we communicate with one

another whether you speak the same

language or not

[Music]

the combination of having artists

photographers and writers working

together is the birthplace of the

antagonist art movement as it is today

those are they stay there they Nina

photographers at these discrete bodies

and you sort of the white is located and

now today everything is based in

technology so if you were writing a blog

the only way you access that blog is you

have to actively search that out doesn't

know Anika 4matic to poison Colossus and

we find the value of doing a fanzine

today is that we can physically hand

that to somebody and then they can pass

it off to somebody else I can leave it

in random locations like record stores

coffee shops bars on the back of toilet

seats ATM machines on the seat of a

train and we reach a much larger

audience by having people randomly come

across it or pick it up those in the

center those fancy desk a nice kit to

necessary emitted whose gas you as an

artist are left to wait to see if a

gallery or somebody else will accept

your work and permission from somebody

else

to actually get a show with doing a

fanzine you can put all of your work as

a compact gallery and hand that and put

it anywhere you want so it really takes

the power away from the middleman that

allows your art to be seen it used to be

that fanzines were unrecognized you'd

have to give them out for free and

nobody respected them but what I find is

the most powerful things of a fanzine is

that it can take someone who is

voiceless gives them a powerful voice

más importante responds in C while they

say Risha es que estamos hablando key

como in

in photos Nevada spray so I'm just gonna

make a fanzine real quick here this is

not my suit

but for this I wanted people to get used

to the traditional style of fanzines

which is paper glue scissors and display

those tears plain vanilla taste so it's

just muy importante porque oasis in

escape just enough computadora you

notice how a koala squad chapter roof

mounting system watch the midnight zoom

creo que el movimiento de gonna stop our

amigo podría dress Mira como Brotherhood

or hermandad hermandad my granny Amanda

special

[Music]

it was a kick more fun since the total

mundo que plus a collection and oak on

the collaboration differente Sammy goes

eat ambien come contact us at Eliza

correspondence he Carters and there's a

mil novecientos noventa Mizzou menos

[Music]

when will el el proyecto piezocone a

collection personal can displace que

hicimos Ensenada la gente que haces

purpose publication escuela alto public

arts doses para para enseñar a la gente

lo que nós vivemos una serie de Tijeras

en las cuales a nosotros queremos FAL

acetylase lo que pasa pasa famous

difícil de conseguir que la para toda

photo copia

para nosotros cuando lo gramo ser un

fanciness como un acto in initiation

para un futuro alchemists ax de las

letras own future Alchemist telegraphic

incentive hemos hecho de Jerez Caminos

poor concentration muchos Nino's a los

resultados de sus Tijeras imposes como

es este este material is material

pollutant go mucho rapido por que en el

aeropuerto por mentes bastante porous di

o e que conseguir en estos trabajo

centenarian el campo the de la policia

tuna on toast es muy muy muy buena zt9

si si si IE the sale of que tous initial

areas of Catoosa miss lorrison an

intubation our carrera otra vez una

pacion doses professors mass mass mass

register their cellphones in Sierra so

fancy

[Music]

my parents got divorced when I was seven

my mother moved to the other side of the

city me my sister were shuttled back and

forth half the week with my father and

half the week with my mother the days I

was at my father's he'd picked me up

from school and I would sit at his

office till eight or nine o'clock at

night waiting for him to get off he put

me in the conference room with a long

table in about a dozen chairs I'd

watched the TV for an hour or maybe two

then I would move to the pencils and

paper and staplers I'd put together

little books and make copies on the copy

machine giving them out to friends at

school it was a way to escape I felt

like I was outside of the office outside

of school doing something bigger than

myself

I discovered fanzines and I started my

own first it was about music and then

slowly it moved into arts it's where I

first learned to work with writers

artists photographers learning what

personalities work best together I was

an editor a publisher

somebody who was doing something

something that the community also

embraced make it bigger larger stronger

with a farther reach but a fanzine can

only take you so far

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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we want to build bridges to other

cultures in small communities of artists

and we believe that by doing so not only

helps us understand more about art in

general it makes us understand the world

we live in a little bit better there's a

lot of very talented artists out there

but unfortunately that's not enough to

make it anymore you have to be bigger

than the individual I'd not only push my

own work I push our groups work together

and that might make the difference in

the end we all want to succeed the

antagonist movement is something that's

it's a selfish act that benefits the

community because we each want to help

ourselves out and in turn that helps out

everybody else

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

tell me what you're thinking balls it

[Music]

tell me what you're thinking of

[Music]