[13+] Home Movies (S03E01) - Shore Leave HD

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well looking at us we're three sailors

on shore leave I'd like to do some

sketches of bird wings can I talk to you

for a second Melissa uh-huh now you know

you'll always be my little baby girl

right yeah no matter what mm-hmm

it's just that I'm afraid I'm gonna

blink and you'll be a man before I know

it dad let me ask you this first of all

great movie who did you stunts me did

you remember to wear a cup

dad do you have any friends besides

Brendon and Jason mmm I don't know do

you have any friends that are girls

no any friends that have girls about my

age I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding

look I guess what I'm saying is that I

used to be like you I went through a

whole gender-bending phase yeah just

hear me out please

okay totally forget what does it meant

to say oh all about the gender-bending

thing right no it's nothing to be

ashamed of in fact I think it's a

healthy thing that for me it was great

you know to get in touch with both sides

of who you are remember when we had our

bird tested for gender and we couldn't

tell the gender of the vet dad what are

you trying to say honey have you heard

of the fairy princess as a group yeah I

think some of the girls in school are

members um you know I did some reading

and it seems like fun you're hanging out

with other kids and doing things after

school I think you're too old for it not

that me honey for you any interest

hmm that's right well let me put it to

you another way I've signed you up and

now you are a fairy princess I am yep so

you're gonna need to turn in your

jockstrap and your cup plus I can't

believe you're a fairy princess yeah so

I'm gonna have to miss some practice and

probably a few games so the whole

weekend is off for the movie - yeah

sorry Brendon Melissa I hope you know

this looks bad when you're letting the

team down while you hang out with a

bunch of whiney babies and stupid

uniforms fun bunch of girls playing

hopscotch skipping rope they may have a

point but the real point is your

disappointment to the team Melissa coach

is just a club for girls well why don't

you join that Brendon because I'm not a

girl well that's a laugh hey leave him

alone coach why what are you gonna do

fairy princess fly up and sprinkle dust

on me turn me into a little kitty cat

can you do that you have to carry a wand

I gotta go I'll see you later bread man

bye

you tell the fairy princesses I said hi

Melissa I will about that Brendon how

about that huh

yeah let me tell you something about

women Brendon women are insane they're

insane alright you get them together in

a group and they go insane or they turn

into animals and they eat their own you

know what I mean yeah nope Brandon we

still on for the weekend Fenton how uh

in regards to what you're spending the

weekend at my house making video films

hanging out you said you'd get back to

me oh I guess I'm still mulling it over

hello how much time do you need I mean

come on already Fenton I'm just trying

to piece together what I have going on

this weekend me and Melissa he's gonna

Wigand you know that yeah Brendon

oh well Brendon if you don't want to

spend the weekend with me just tell me

it's not that it's just that we have no

real reason to not sleep at our own

homes we have no reason but this we're

friends Brendon this is a one-time offer

okay only good for this weekend I'll

keep that

you and me hanging out video films

heaven around guess I get the picture

I'm gonna let you think about it okay

you think about it huh branded huh

yep hey Who am I yep

I don't know me yep um I don't see why

Brendan can't spend the weekend with

Fenton no mom no no what are you yelling

actually he usually sleeps in his

underpants but I can make sure you bring

pajamas with little feet things no no

I'm sorry yeah okay okay honey how was

your day no mom no I can't believe you

you'll never guess who that was alright

walkie talkie test let's see if these

babies work can anybody hear me yes yes

can anybody hear me

I repeat hear me yes yes Melissa do you

think Jason knows to take his thumb off

the button so he can hear us what's now

can you hear me can anybody hear me yes

yes who said that

me okay who's that okay can anybody hear

me no I mean yes okay guys we need to

keep in touch this weekend so we have to

learn to use these things all right it's

whoops hello can you hear me now yes

whoops yes over okay I'm talking now can

you guys hear me that you brother

no it's Melissa are you fine Howard but

I'm not Melissa oh who is this it's

Brendan oh hey brother what's up I was

just asking about you about a second ago

who's talking right now

I think it's Melissa no I think it's

Jason I think it's Brendan no it's Jason

now it's Brendon yes what look guys we

have to keep in touch this weekend

because Melissa's at the fairy

princesses and I'm staying at fentons so

leave the walkie talkies on leave them

on it whoops can you guys hear me now we

can hear you Melissa

fairy princesses I want you to meet our

newest member and a very pretty young

girl hello everybody hi yep now hey who

wants to have some fun

yay mmm

doctor please help me I have no feeling

on my any parts of my body but in my

face I'm not the doctor yes no not

anymore

ah now I'm a guy with superhuman

strength and I've come to carry you

my paralyzed friend best friend my

paralyzed best friend with strength and

I'm really handsome more handsome than

you okay cut why does your character

exactly have to be more handsome than me

I can also fly okay but what happened to

the doctor finding the cure scenario it

sucked

mm-hmm fine okay ready yes but I'm also

the president and I'm really tall oh how

tall six-four six-four six-five okay are

you ready yeah yeah action hi hi cut not

bad it's good you know I have to say

it's kind of nice just hanging out with

the neighbor having a cup of coffee and

do kids around sure is

hey let me ask you something Paula do

you ever get worried about Brendon

growing up without a male role model in

his life yeah you know it's funny how

how kids are affected in ways that are

so subtle that we don't even know how do

you know that I don't know we don't know

okay yeah slow down there I don't know

you know what is the coffee yeah I

haven't had coffee like this since the

60s mom me and Brandon made a movie on

the air oh it's really good we're gonna

show it right after dinner right Brandon

oh it's not it's not very good not good

are you kidding me it's great mom I'm

the hero I look really good on video

film right Brandon can you pass the I

guess I'm not saying anything ever

learned do you like your food Brendon

mmm yes yes I do you sure don't look

like you like it yeah

even test anything I don't think he

likes my I like it seem what exactly do

you call this dish right yeah yeah but

what's the flavoring fries flavored like

yes I that's what I thought I was

tasting settle down my little fairy

princesses it's time for the ferry sales

princess meeting sales meeting yes my

little fairy princess

can relax everyone please direct your

attention to the monitor welcome my

little fairy princesses to the FPC the

fairy princess corporation if you're

watching this and congratulations you

are a fairy princess that means that you

are pretty and little and sweet but that

also means that you're responsible for

productivity sales productivity I know

what you're saying well I'll tell you

what you'll be selling PC collection

including chef PC fairy hair princess

get the fairy Brella a lightweight fleet

functional rainbow and finally our big

seller the FPC fairy cloth a beautiful

multicolored tablecloth well girls

and remember plainclothes FBC members

will be phantom shopping and monitoring

your productivity and we stand by our

three-strikes-you're-out bad sales

punishment technique talk to talk little

fairies and good luck good good good

good good bye ok my turn I roll I get a

9 think you got a 7 Fenton now we'll

never know I get a 9 which means I win

again

big surprise that's 14 games to 0 I had

one Brandon I'm really beating you or at

least you don't glue let's play again

let's not let's watch TV or something

yeah right

no TV mom says what ok let's see

something fun with our hair what boys

it's 6:30 time for bed

what come on Brad Brad let's put on our

pajamas what Melissa before we go out

and sell tomorrow we're gonna work on a

couple sales exercises ok all right sell

me the FPC fairy cloth ok would you like

to buy an FPC fairy cloth no I wouldn't

ok no Melissa we don't take no for an

answer

alright don't let me say no understand

let's try again

hey are you ready yes excuse me would

you like to buy a fairy cloth no please

absolutely not why not because I don't

like them and I don't need them and I

don't have time for your nonsense now

leave me alone ok no Melissa you took no

for an answer that's twice you did that

that was wrong but you told me to leave

you alone never listen to someone when

they tell you to leave them alone

understand I guess so

let's try again would you like to buy a

fairy class no go away I don't like you

very much but a fairy cloth would make a

good gift for a loved one well I don't

have any loved ones I live alone you do

yes but what about your family

they're dead I'm sorry well it's not

your fault

people die I know but I shouldn't have

brought it up

no it's nice that you brought it up what

a fairy cloth make you feel better no

you leave me alone or I'll call the

police you little Goblin ok no Melissa

you took No

an answer but you said you're gonna call

the police so so it's the police so

what's the police gonna do hmm arrest

you I don't know how old are you eight

well they're not gonna touch you

let's try it again and where's the smile

I want to smile there it is would you

like no gosh can you hear me this is

Jason I can't come through the walkie

talkie right now if you like to leave a

message please do so after all the beeps

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got enough room I don't know it's extra

warming warming here isn't it

I don't know brand Ben do you mean it

when you said I look good on video film

I have no recollection of saying that

cause it's plastic sheets yes because I

think I have a really good look don't

you sure

hey can we turn these lights off or dim

them because I think okay lights on well

I've tried lawyer your voice Brendan we

don't wanna get in trouble

Oh nor my voice quiet bren-bren

you know what's great no you and me oh

right now right here and this is just

the beginning I think we're gonna be

friends for a long time forever

I mean we understand the little things

like video films and board games and

video films

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[Applause]

good morning time to wake up wake up

Linden cockadoodledoo time to do the

chores why are you doing this to me huh

what time is it it's 5:30

wake up fairy princesses wake up today

we sell get up your little fairy

princesses get up before I get you up

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excuse me ma'am sir we'd like to buy a

fairy cloth please miss would you like

to buy a fairy please somebody buy one

of these things somebody help me out by

a fairy clock please help me

coach are you wearing it's my uniform

yikes what are you doing here shouldn't

be in a mall by yourself in that outfit

I'm not alone what are you talking about

there are people watching me please buy

something what kind of people excuse me

sir would you like to buy a fairy cloth

you're talking to me

please buy something cut I'm not gonna

play your game Melissa but I'll tell you

something I told you so

all right chalk that up in the

i-told-you-so Department but coach I

never wanted to do this oh yeah yeah cry

me a river I was right and you were

wrong

now you're miserable and that's good why

am I so satisfied about that what do you

want me to do Melissa huh you want me to

come in and buy all your stupid fairy

princess merchandise that what you want

yeah what do you got give me those wings

I can't I'm a letter take them off coach

please I'll get in trouble so what coach

wants to wear him coach wants to fly

away huh yeah so I came to the mall oh

did we have a game oh yeah we lost

thanks a lot by the way coach my dad

signed me up not me no pardon me if I

don't believe you Melissa now you made

your bed you go sleep on it

sleep on it Melissa and you tell the

fairies I said go to hell it's where

they belong Hey where's the food court

top floor

I gotta get some spareribs in me Jason

come in Jason this is Jason over Jason

it's Melissa I need help

over

I need it sure is raining huh shut up I

think we're almost finished

too bad oh boy rice again you're the

dirty villain and I'm the hero and you

suck yep and you're really stupid and

I'm really smart okay okay sounds good

in your fat not bad skin and I'm

thinning out small pores mm-hmm and

let's see you're wonderful yeah I'm your

heart horrible your sales today were

horrible I know did you even try Melissa

I don't know well I'll tell you compared

to the other fairy princesses you're not

very good okay and I want us to work on

this together okay mm-hmm I want us to

work on this all night if we have to we

have to pinpoint your problem because

your sales are unacceptable what time is

it

it's 6:30 6:30 time for bed boys and get

lots of rest because tomorrow we finish

what we didn't finish today nighty-night

good night mommy

Brennan say nighty-night to mommy yeah

see ya good night sleep well it's late

date safe sleep tight sleep sleep sleep

tight so you two you two okay I will I'm

making this tape in the closet in the

hallway wait I can't hear me I'm making

this tape so that when they find me

they'll know how I died I hate this

place I hate Fenton I hate his mother I

haven't eaten I haven't slept I I worked

all day in the Mules yard I fear that

these are my last days I had a good life

though I should be thankful that's all

for now you're going to the bathroom

okay Melissa you're not trying hard

enough to sell me sell me like your

little life depended on it because one

day it will now go um right now I

realize I have to go to the bathroom

will you excuse me please make it quick

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the hell are you kids doing here

thanks for the escape plan Jason no

problema baby I can't stop thinking

about George I just I think I just went

to a life-changing event I told you

brendensen naked woman is an amazing

thing but it was fentons mom so so so

she's um who cares uh happy everybody's

safe safety is the most important thing

Brendon make this kid stop talking

through that thing before I break it

Brendon make this guy kiss my ass and

that pot some deodorant because of the

snake coming from him over no hey I am

so sorry about the whole fairy princess

thing and I hope that someday you can

forgive me

well someday I'll probably be able to

but for now you're on probation you know

I feel particularly guilty about

questioning your masculinity the funny

thing is is that brendan is the most

positive female influence in my life I

mean look at how he runs you are in so

much trouble with me that I can't even

say it sentence with words it can sound

correctly good I'm sorry yeah at least

you got to see a naked lady yeah and I

guess fentons a little more popular

because of it too look your mom's house

deafened and we're your friends now so

let us spend the night there yeah yeah

maybe you don't see something you know

like a medikit first our naked yeah you

said I did yeah leave me alone

too many players on the field then

where's your coach

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hello domain name registry like to

register a domain name please okay well

I put my list out right here let's see

what you got

fentons naked mom calm okay no I know so

far look I look right here it says that

name is away took it's taken

Trenton's naked mom's alright buddy you

gotta come up with Sony knows about

middle-aged naked mom calm okay let me

tell you look God knows that's taking

y'all to gorg calm mistake angry yeah

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