Home Sweet Home Alone Is Everything Wrong With Movies - Review

home sweet home alone is the story of a

sad man who wasted an hour and a half

watching what he knew was gonna be an

absolute pile of crap but how bad was it

truly and what will become of the man

who's nothing more than an empty shell

of a human well let's find out on

another episode of

[Music]

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check it out i actually have done this

stick before it's a call back to home

alone 2 my favorite of the home alone

movies yes even more than the first

i will be talking about that in a week

or so so definitely stick around

also buzz is in this new film so it's

relevant for that reason he's a police

officer and it's even says mcallister

right there and he references kevin in

this i'm sorry i should say there's

going to be spoilers from the onset here

this is a terrible movie

from every single way you look at it

it's just a bad

horrible disgusting attempt at a film

they know it's bad disney's not even

promoting it it's nowhere to be found on

their homepage the day it comes out now

it's possible when we get closer to

christmas they might spackle it on the

home screen but i just don't i don't

think they will i think they know they

have a turret on their hands and they

want to wash that right off

speaking of poop there's fart jokes in

this movie that's that's the level we're

at here the home alone movies are

childhood classics for a lot of people

including myself they've made several

since there was a third one that went to

theaters with the new family and there

was two more that went to abc i believe

they just kind of

shat him out overnight without really

saying much and yet somehow

i won't say those are better than this

one i i don't have a single care to give

for any of them but i will say the

villains are better in those the dude

from third rock from the sun french

stewart

is in one of them how is he better

how is he better than what we have here

well i'll tell you ellie kemper is the

worst

yeah i said it i said what some people

are thinking and afraid to say you might

think wow that's a little weird for him

to start with the villain of the picture

instead of the main character

she is the main character she and rob

delaney play a married couple who are

trying to sell their home max mercer and

his mom stop by because he really has to

go to the bathroom so they pretend like

they're interested in the house to use

the facility

and they run into these people there's

an exchange of words max is a complete

dick in this by the way just an absolute

unlikable and that's really sad for

me to say about a child about a boy who

is probably charming and likeable in

other things actually i know he is i've

seen him in other films

here though everybody is so unlikable

but i need to get back i need to get

back to ellie kemper first because

that's where this starts who in

hollywood does this woman have dirt on

is she the daughter of a financy

or a queen of some sort how is she in

this industry

she's terrible in the office

one of the worst characters i can't find

a single thing to laugh at her about she

was terrible and unbreakable kimmy

schmidt and she's in this

why do people like her i apologize ellie

kemper i'm sure you are a delight to be

around in person you're probably very

funny or probably very charming very

lovable down to earth i don't think

you're funny and you are playing one of

two characters where the comedy rests

upon the shoulders of and you're failing

you're dropping the ball that's not to

say rob delaney gets off any easier

because he sure as hell doesn't not a

single laugh is emitted from my body

when he's on camera the movie has zero

creativity zero thought or energy put

into anything it's just in and out in

less than an hour and a half the movie

is one hour and 24 minutes long yet it

feels like an eternity to get through

i'd say it tries to emulate the formula

of the first two movies but does it

how could you fail how could you miss so

completely the first two films have a

magic to them they have a wholesome

spirit that shines through that radiates

throughout the mcallister home even

though the people are rude and selfish

to one another there's still a kindred

spirit to it all there's still this

family togetherness that you can see

seep through the cracks

kevin is a smart ass but he's justified

we we see everything through his eyes

yeah he can be selfish for sure but so

is the rest of his family so when he

reacts the way he does when he responds

to situations the way he does i say yeah

kevin he kind of reminds me of larry

david and curb your enthusiasm i know

larry's kind of the bad guy but

oftentimes i'm like yeah he's sane and

doing what no one has the courage to

he's in the right here so is kevin max

isn't max is a jerk

he is not even provoked and he acts like

an ass he's super rude to his mom

there's a scene early on when the mom is

flailing to get everything done and

she's on the phone and max is sitting

there mom mom look at me mom i'm the

most important she's clearly on the

phone you little dick the worst part

easily in the first two films and

thankfully it's not very long is the

lame come to jesus moment kevin

experiences with both the old man next

door and the creepy pigeon lady these

moments are here to make kevin more

likeable to have him grow as a character

to learn a little bit more about the

holiday and what it means and i thought

they were maybe attempting to do this

with max as he also runs into an old

lady that's working at the toy drive

there's a bunch of

children's play things being dropped off

i didn't want to use toy twice and i

couldn't think on the spot of another

word so i said child's play thing like

toy story anyway

he goes there and he thinks it's just

like a grab bag free-for-all and a kid

ends up dropping off of uh like a nerf

gun and the woman even tells him what

the stuff's for and he ends up taking it

without even a second thought he learns

nothing out of it he lives in a goddamn

mansion the kid is spoiled beyond all

comprehension

no issues bringing home another toy for

max

goes well with his lego set and his uh

his hot wheels racers just just throw it

in the pile you little piece of

earlier i said there was no creativity

in this film i take that back there's

one small little portion

where the film acknowledges the original

by recreating one of those great black

and white films they did in the movies

with the uh the guy with the tommy gun

and he gives them an account to 10

except for this time it's a sci-fi

rendition i thought that was kind of

cute but then the movie immediately

ruins it by acknowledging that this is a

remake and that remakes are almost never

as good so why even bother

are you kidding me the movie throws buzz

in then calls itself a remake what the

hell are you well i'll tell you what you

are you're soulless you're lifeless

you're worthless and you're a waste of

my time thankfully i'm probably one of

six people that even knows it's on the

app and hopefully i'm only one of two

that watched this monstrosity

the other being ellie kemper of course

i know i'm coming off as a bit of a

trout sniffer right now and who cares

about the plot right who cares about all

the family nonsense and whether or not

the kids like them all

i'm here for the violence

i'm here for the pain and anguish well

you might as well leave because there's

none

nothing that i would even consider

remotely funny at least

we have a combination

of pratfalls that don't land

it's kind of a pun and we have a bunch

of cg nonsense there's a scene where max

puts mentos in uh soda bottles and

throws them at the villain he has like

30 of them up there and he's just

chucking him left and right somehow

getting the cap to just be on enough to

hold the liquid but not enough so it

shoots out and goes everywhere it's so

miserably done

the the execution's awful there's one

little morsel of a moment that could

have worked really well it's such an

easy layup there's a sequence where a

choir is singing a lovely song and

that's juxtaposed with the two villains

trying to climb over a wall you have the

beautiful thing going on over here and

then you jump cut to this ugly messy

disaster taking place they're falling

off the wall they're trying to eek their

way up the problem is it's filmed so

poorly with weird slow motion where it

doesn't belong had the camera punched in

more on ellie kemper and you just saw

the other guy fall you just saw

delaney's body just go whoosh in front

of the camera without really getting

much information about what just

happened that would have been far

funnier than being focused out and

seeing him slow motion fall it just

doesn't work

and the sound effect crew must have

taken the entire film off they didn't

bother to show up where are the hard

punches the smacks the slaps the slips

the falls the bones breaking

none of it's present it takes a full

hour of the movie for the booby trap

stuff to even kick in there's nothing

really before that of any sort of pratt

folly nature no booby traps or anything

and then we only have about 10 minutes

of actual home invasion and it's done

the end of the movie i i don't even know

i don't even know where to begin like

the basic plot is these people are

trying to sell their house because

they're in over their head they have a

doll that's supposedly worth over two

hundred thousand dollars they think max

stole the doll we don't see max steal it

i assumed he didn't because that would

be a funny twist at the end he didn't

and it still wasn't funny and then they

become best friends they have meals

together a year later the their house is

perfect it's fixed the doll apparently

sold for like half a million they don't

tell us but they're rich now so

everyone's happy i guess is the moral of

this story well adam you don't have to

watch the movie it doesn't ruin the

first two i know it doesn't ruin the

first two i'm not upset about that

these remakes have happened so often now

or or sequels i guess this is a sequel

technically that it uh it doesn't bother

me anymore i i i know the originals

still exist they're intact they're still

great

what bothers me is that talent well

maybe not talent on this one

time

money

cruise

set pieces stages things that could have

gone to some better art

or a better movie in general were wasted

here we had to waste time and money and

effort on this shoddy production it's a

disgrace to movie making it's a disgrace

to everything i hold dear with cinema

it's a monstrosity

it's a joke

but there's no laughs

well

disney's laughing i guess

disney's laughing

there's a scene in the film where the

male gets hit in the head with

one of the pool balls the kid's shooting

out of his launcher

when he falls down max puts a vr headset

on him

and so when he wakes up

he's in a dinosaur planet on the edge of

a cliff

and like any

even irrational adult

unless he has some sort of a mental

illness i don't know about you just take

off the headset

somehow he doesn't know it's on he

doesn't feel it

and

he's just accepting that somehow he's

been transported to the dinosaur era

and he's on a cliff

and so this happens this is a scene that

goes on for a little while how dumb does

the writer think the audience is we're

just willing to accept anything now like

home alone was never built on

plausibility of course i mean they're

absurd films that would kill any mortal

human but who cares if there's still

likability charm and a tiny bit of

plausibility behind it i believe that

harry and marv were dumb enough to keep

trying to break into the kid's house i

believe that they were stupid enough to

fall for his obvious tricks

i don't believe kevin could put a vr

headset on marv or harry and they would

just accept it and start walking into

walls and things come on

finally the last thing that really

drives me crazy is not only the fact

that they're banking off the title home

alone

but that home alone one was a short

that's putting it lightly home alone one

was a complete disaster to get off the

ground the movie killed the director

basically trying to get this thing out

the door

fox was constantly on the verge of

canceling this picture

week to week they didn't know if they

were gonna have funding anymore they

took months and months just to find the

proper house they wanted to film at and

then they couldn't even film inside it

because it was too small so they had to

recreate the entire house inside of a

gymnasium of an abandoned school where

they set up office

that's insane and so then to have a

monster company like disney get the

rights because they purchased fox and to

just out whatever they want

no

i will not go easy on this or anyone

involved this is ridiculous and

insulting and then to use the score the

iconic theme from john williams to use

dialogue written

by the original masters

how dare you

how

dare you

so that's home sweet home alone for the

holidays

you disney

thanks again for watching the video if

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clearly has very little to lose here

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happy holidays