A candid discussion on Dele's struggle with mental health, abuse & addiction | ESPN FC

Everton midfielder Delhi has opened up

about his traumatic childhood in a very

emotional interview with Gary Neville on

his recent struggles he said it's hard

to pinpoint one exact moment when I

started to feel that things weren't

right probably the saddest moment for me

was when Mourinho was manager I think I

was 24. I remember there was one session

like one morning I woke up and I had to

go to training this is when he'd stopped

playing me and I was in a bad place

I remember just looking in the mirror I

mean it sounds dramatic but I was

literally staring in the mirror and I

was asking if I could retire now at 24

doing the thing I love for me that was

heartbreaking to even have had that

thought at 24 to want to retire that

hurt me a lot now it was a very rare and

upsetting interview for anyone who's

seen it he opened up about being

sexually abused as a child how he was

dealing drugs as a child and how a lot

of this Trauma from his childhood has

gone on to lead him to some of the

matters that he's talked about in this

interview in addiction to sleeping pills

having to go into rehab as well Frankel

Buffs with us now Ali and Shaq are still

here it just goes to show shacker we

never truly know what's going on in

somebody's background and off the pitch

when we are seeing struggles like this

no no you don't but before I got into

addressing that let me just give daily

his credit here for coming out and

speaking as honestly and ultimately as

he has about about his issues without

him knowing it I can guarantee he's

having an impact a positive impact on

some little kid somewhere who he may

never meet so I I applaud him for that

for for just from the start I mean we

have to acknowledge how much good his

honesty is doing and how wide

um that good will be spread

um

and and here's the difficulty of

sometimes the job that we do we're being

asked to pass opinion give judgment on

what we see on this surface

but we

as football players as human beings

understand that all of us are so much

deeper it takes so much more we all have

our own individual stories to tell

some are a little bit more more

difficult than others

um

but yet we are having to to pass

judgment

almost and judge people equally

so the humanity of of Delhi what he's

had to deal with how he's cope with it I

think shines through the other thing

that I think is is well I'm not sure if

unfortunate is is the word

um certainly that this is not a

sentiment shared by by any of us in in

this studio or on this show

but the sentimentaries here so often

from outside is that well you're making

this amount of money or you're a

professional footballer or you're doing

this

as though that is supposed to

shed you from your Humanity or protect

you from from

traumas that affect every single one of

us and and we see quite clearly that

that is not true that there's a human

side to this game there's a human side

to players that we don't see we don't

appreciate

he mentions Joseph Mourinho in in this

interview and again similarly this is a

difficult thing about being a manager

you are having to manage a group of in

this case men

um of course it could be women as well

without knowing their full stories and

doing the best that you can in a

circumstance that you are not trained to

do

is not trained to to see somebody's

traumas to see somebody's hurt or deal

with it

you try to do it and we credit managers

when they get it right as being good man

managers

but that's not what they're there for

that's not that's not what they're best

at so you sympathize as well when

managers don't get that right and it it

shows I guess a deeper need for

professionals mental health

professionals in this game something

that's just coming into before

um to have a a more direct impact with

players in understanding personalities

and getting them to to open up about

their traumas

and and in closing I I just like to say

that so many times we talk about

mental health and mental health issues

and traumas

and those can have a very dark negative

sometimes

fatal result

for all for all that Delhi Ali has gone

through and for all the good that his

words are doing he's here and I think we

also have to be thankful for that

not many can get through that Darkness

but he did and I think we're all a

little bit better at the very least a

little bit more appreciative

for what players go through yeah and as

I as Chaka just said not many can get

through that to then get through it and

be able obviously to still deal with it

being into rehab but to be able to come

out as Shaka said and be so brave to

speak about it openly as he had you can

see why it has resonated with so many

now it's been released and part of that

has to do with the locker room culture

and I can't speak for the current locker

room culture that may have changed but

and nowadays for somebody to come out

and talk about these issues openly and

mental health wasn't nearly as accepted

as it would be today uh so to your point

I think there is a level of maturity

that his own experiences provide Delhi

but in order to get that perspective and

that level of maturity he has gone

through very dark moments

and I think what was most challenging

from his perspective and I don't want to

speculate here because this is a very uh

delicate subject

I have to imagine that for him

playing the game was a natural outlet

that while the life around the game

or his personal life was dark and there

were some traumas early on in his life

playing the game

was a safe haven a safe place a natural

Outlet where he had free room of

expression when he had freedom of ideas

where he could control the outcome

it wasn't his his surroundings that was

controlling the the outcome it was him

that was controlling the outcome because

he had the ball at his feet

when that game is taken away from him

because of lack of performance or

because of not meeting expectations or

because he's not scoring enough calls or

because he's not impacting the game and

now the safe haven the safe place the

outlet is creating more anxiety is

bringing more pain

then you have to imagine what was once a

dark place became even darker and that I

think is the part that I have to imagine

must have been most difficult for him

that the feel the training ground the

locker room the team the games was no

longer the support system that he had

used over the course of his life to be

able to cope with whatever else he had

going on and whatever other traumas he

had in his life

his recognition of that I think takes

great courage and I think it takes great

maturity and being able to say

I need help

see we all

at whatever level we play

there is an element of ego that goes

with being a professional athlete not

just a professional soccer player but a

professional athlete that you feel

like you can be the best on the field at

whatever moment that you belong at that

stage and that element of ego and

confidence propels you forward

so it takes a great deal of courage to

look at yourself in the mirror and say

I need help I can't do this on my own

I have to put my ego aside I can no

longer be the guy that I once was and I

can no longer do this to myself I need

somebody to help me and I need somebody

to talk to and I need somebody to open

up to and this has to be part of his his

therapy if you will being able to come

out and speak so freely about this I

think the level occurs that it takes is

something that I I simply cannot relate

to uh it's it it's amazing for him to be

able to speak so freely and so openly

about this it's amazing that that he has

had the the the stage to be able to do

this and that anayako shaka's point

the impact that he's having

he may be doing this for his own therapy

for his own well-being but he's touching

so many lives that he's not aware of and

it's uh it's something that doesn't

happen naturally to guys

at this level to to recognize weakness

to recognize that you need help to know

that you're not doing it alone and to

know that you need somebody to pull you

from their darkness and to help you out

to take that step takes courage and to

do what he's doing now takes courage as

well and you have to hope Frank that he

gets to see and feel this out break of

support that he's had since revealing

just how traumatic his childhood was

yes definitely

I feel bad today you know after reading

the article I I felt awful because I've

been like everybody else you know we

always talk about and I did about

Christian policies talking about the

consistency of a player and uh you could

decide what you know and what you see

and uh for delay I was always you know

um stunned by this Talent is quality but

always criticizing the fact that I

didn't kind of what I saw didn't take it

seriously so I don't want to repeat what

Shaka and Alice perfectly said about

what he is what he did and what he's

going to bring to the world and for

people who have those kind of traumas

and uh being able to speak out says how

courageous he is and brave and but I I

want to have a message to the fans to uh

people who are watching football uh who

are thinking that sometimes football

players are kind of robots and have to

perform uh week in week out without

having any kind of issues especially

psychological issues you have to perform

be good because you are paced so so much

because you are famous because you have

everything so perform and shut up they

are and we are and I was a human being

and delay just

said something so useful for the world

for young people for football players

just to show how difficult it is to have

a life and to be happy in his life to

perform well to hide everything from

from from the others which is very very

hard when you are a celebrity and to be

able to speak out says a lot about the

mentality of the guy so first I want to

apologize hopefully he's going to

forgive to everybody who have been

critical to uh towards him towards

himself but but first I want to say

congratulations you were able to do so

to speak out and to express and you're

going to help so many many people and uh

hopefully you're gonna feel better soon

you will be able to talk to many people

and you will be understood and accepted

by others and um

and it's a great message for the fans

you know sometimes just

stop saying oh come on run do it it's

easy you want your money just try to see

a little bit behind the scenes yeah of

course we send our love to Delhi and we

commend his bravery as well we hope for

much better days ahead for him

well thank you very much for watching

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