An introvert's guide to networking | Rick Turoczy | TEDxPortland

talk about experiences you're not ready

for high

you may not know it but you're sitting

in the middle of one of the most amazing

and vibrant startup communities in the

United States and it's not just tech

startups every day in every corner of

Portland people are rethinking

reinventing and innovating on any number

of products via apparel biking banking

doughnuts you saw some doughnut

innovation this morning donut inside of

a donut pretty innovative education

healthcare nonprofits we even have

people innovating on how business can

better collaborate with local government

I try and track and promote as much of

this stuff as best I can but a lot of it

is grassroots and hard to track so it

makes sense that when people are looking

to get involved in the startup community

they wind up finding their way to me I'm

Rick Taurasi and while helping Portland

folks connect isn't in my job

description it's the work I find myself

doing every day I'm not alone there are

a bunch of us working on this effort to

build community it's not easy work and

we have to do it anyone can do it

literally anyone I know that because I

am probably the last person on earth

anyone would choose to do this work not

outgoing

I'm not extroverted and meeting new

people makes me exceedingly

uncomfortable

I think probably the best way to give

you a glimpse into the personality that

I have is to take you back and introduce

you to my best friend from kindergarten

every single day the first thing I do

when I got to school was find my best

friend as soon as we'd found one another

we'd immediately go hide in this little

tent in the corner of the classroom just

the two of us we're practically

inseparable and we'd spend hours in that

tent just me and my best friend golden

walnut now this was Montessori school I

get that parents can be a little

creative with names but see golden

walnut wasn't one of those creative kids

names kind of think you see where I'm

going here because my best friend in

kindergarten was in fact

a walnut solid friend though seriously

back then we've referred to that type of

behavior as being shy today we see it

more as being introverted clearly pretty

aggressively introverted

no offense walnut so right if someone

who would rather hang out in a tent with

a walnut can do this building community

work fairly confident you can do this

community work as well even if you're

introverted like me because introverts

are counter-intuitively actually really

really good at this stuff I think it's

because we become comfortable with being

uncomfortable we've gotten used to being

in awkward situations because for us

every single interaction with another

human fairly awkward

so introvert or not I've found through

my experience that it's easier for

anyone to meet one-on-one face-to-face

because it's not as scary as a group of

people it's not as scary as attending an

event by the way hi to all the

introverts watching the livestream right

now

I see you

and I can now for the first time in

history confirm that meeting one-on-one

face-to-face is nowhere near as

frightening as standing alone on stage

talking to 3,000 people

[Applause]

[Music]

I called these one-on-one meetings

collecting dots in collecting dots I'm

given the opportunity to meet new people

with a variety of backgrounds and

perspectives I'm able to step outside of

my comfort zone and I'm better at best

of all I may be able to capture dots

that have the potential to benefit other

dots I've managed to collect now being

introverted isn't the only reason people

avoid connecting with the startup

community sometimes it's because they

think they don't do startups or they

don't have anything valuable to add but

the fact that you don't do startups is

exactly what makes your insights

valuable the startup community has added

more than enough of our own echo chamber

what's needed now are new opinions a

diversity of ideas and people with new

and new experiences and backgrounds not

more of the same because unfortunately I

think it's pretty obvious where that

more of the same behavior has gotten us

collecting dots can be time-consuming

but you can make it more efficient folks

tend to open up around food you just had

lunch you probably talked to a lot of

folks around meals it's the family

dinner dynamic or the watering hole

effect and in my experience a cup of

coffee is the smallest possible

instantiation of that dynamic over the

shortest period of time a cup of coffee

helps people open up it helps us as

humans to connect and connect more

quickly so building community collecting

dots can happen simply and quickly over

a cup of coffee and someone to have it

with best of all it helps both of you

collect the dot so efficient but still

intimidating because a lot of folks

worry about providing value during that

short timeframe of the coffee meeting so

let's be honest most everyone I've had a

coffee meeting with

tell you this I am completely useless in

99.9% of the coffee meetings I have I

mean I listen I drink my coffee I ask a

few questions and sure every once in a

while I have an insight or something

that may be valuable but that's a rarity

and that's okay because collecting the

dots isn't even the most valuable part

of building community for me it's the

hardest part but not the most valuable

the real value comes when I long after

I've been jacked up on caffeine

potentially days or weeks after I've had

that meeting the real magic happens when

I have the opportunity to step back and

reflect on that dot upon reflection that

dot gains context it gains connections

it starts to provide value to all of the

other dots I see it stops being a single

point of reference now you might say

those connections aren't they common

sense talking a lot about common sense

here my perspective on common sense is

common sense isn't common

frankly it's only common to you so for

me it makes perfect sense why I need to

connect the former head of project

management at a massive multinational

corporation with the founder of a tiny

local blockchain start-up for me I can

see why I need to connect the dot that's

wrestling with rethinking venture

capital to the dot who's successfully

churning up wacky flavors of ice cream

those connections are obvious to me and

because of your unique experience

because of what you focus on day in and

day out because of your dots you're able

to see connections that I can't see

someone else is able to see connections

that neither you nor I can but they're

obvious to them this is how community is

built by connecting the dots that only

you can see but this doesn't just happen

naturally if we leave it to nature it

won't happen as quickly as we need it to

it might not happen at all

building community is artificial there's

absolutely nothing natural about this

especially for an introvert like me and

despite what we've been taught not

everything artificial is bad sometimes

humans come up with some pretty amazing

things artificially like coffee

and golden walnuts so enough of the talk

and enough enough theory let's get

tactical if this struck a chord and

you're raring to go I don't know maybe

you're an extrovert or something I don't

get you but I get you all I'm asking you

to do is just schedule a coffee meeting

with one new person just go collect one

new dog but if that feels like too much

trust me I get it all I'm asking is that

you simply say yes to the next coffee

invite you get just say yes and you'll

still manage to collect too Don you both

will that's all you have to do to build

community the reflections and

connections you'll figure that out I'm

confident in fact I'm convinced that

right now every single person in this

audience with your existing dots knows

someone that someone else should know

and you're the only person who can make

that connection because you're the only

person who can see that connection

because to you it's common sense so

let's use your common sense and your

common sense and your common sense to

collect and connect those dots and build

a better more tightly knit community for

all of us two cups of coffee at a time

thank you