DIY With Ron Swanson | Parks and Recreation

hey Ron morning Leslie do you have a

good night I did I watched a really good

docu what is that this is what I did

last night after I got home I drank six

more glasses of whiskey and then I

finished crafting this small harp using

a bandsaw a spokeshave and an

oscillating spindle sander

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beautiful but wait there's more here are

some photographs of me drinking the

whiskey you'll notice I'm holding up

yesterday's newspaper so you can tell

that I'm not lying I feel like I'm in a

spa lemonade please and thank you hey

I'm sorry if I was Curt earlier I'm a

single mom and sometimes things got

chaotic around here and when you shut up

from the parts department I'd understand

completely this is delicious

I got it from food and stuff so that's

where we got these gloves right so how

exactly are you gonna fix this hole just

for my own edification I dug the loose

gravel out of the hole now I'm using a

jackhammer to remove the larger pieces

then I'll spray down the hole to settle

the dust and fill it with cold patch

asphalt well thank you now I can fix the

next one myself

mark Brendan danowitz hey Ron what's up

I have a wood shop and I'm planning a

little expansion need my buddy mark the

city planner to sign off on the plans

sure I just gave the scheduling

inspection that's not really necessary

yes it is but you'll be fine as long as

you don't have any code violations you

don't have any code violations deal

No

Andrew are you aware that your bathroom

faucet is leaking are you kidding me

I just stuffed a saucony yesterday what

else do they want me to do there's an

exposed wire above the bathtub as well

oh yeah shock wire I call it that

because if you take a shower and you

touch the wire you die yes that is

accurate do you have a toolbox yeah no

home is complete without a proper

toolbox

here's April and Andy's a hammer half of

a pretzel baseball card some cartridge

that says Sonic and Hedgehog a scissor

half and a flashlight filled with

jellybeans

Ron what was wrong with that one it was

too perfect it looked a machine made

and the time I've worked here I've taken

great pains to see as little of this

building as possible

turns out the third floor is silent

empty and completely free of government

work I can't think of anything more

beautiful to share with my son if I had

a toolbox I could take care of that

faulty radiator this place is a paradise

hey Mark welcome to my Haven thank you

you were the first non me to set foot in

this building in ten years none of this

is up to code sure it is it's up to the

Swanson code there's no drainage doesn't

seem to be any ventilation

you've got houses chemicals over here

yeah which only I'm breathing the same

liberty that gives me the right to fart

my own car are you gonna tell a man that

he can't fart in his own car there is a

basket of oil soaked rags above a

wood-burning stove

good thing I've got a fire extinguisher

which I can assure you it's totally up

to your precious code this says it

should be recharged June of 1996 those

dates are arbitrary they're like those

expiration dates that the government

forces companies to put on yogurt

medicine observe watch yourself yeah

okay I'll replace this happy my fav new

item is a deliciously bold chair my

local artist run Swanson Ron Swanson is

here he will be joining us after the

break so stick around that woman call my

chair delicious I guess we could go to a

pharmacy but I really don't want to use

like a cheap plastic ring I hate to say

this but Ann Perkins has terrible taste

in rings what is this it's a toe ring

with a brown gemstone is this a ruby

that's gone bad I am out of ideas

jewelry store no that's closed that's

why we're doing this perhaps I can be of

service how how much you think Ann would

miss the sconce I don't know it's part

of her house

well okay it's not rocket science

I removed the sconce fired up my

grandfather's torch heated up the pieces

in a cast-iron bucket liquefied the

metal poured into a mold

obviously keep it over a low flame to

achieve a nice temper cool didn't

antifreeze and just forged and shaped

the Rings any with a crucible and

a sudden lean torch and a cast-iron

waffle maker could have done the same

whole thing only took me about 20

minutes

people who buy things are suckers 5 26

27 28 violations come on

brendanawicz relax let me make you a

canoe uh well I don't need a kidney Ron

I need you to fix this place up so I'll

give you 24 hours

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hi there is there a project you're

working on I know more than you all

right when April and Andy married I

didn't get him a wedding present

in my experience wedding presents are

nothing more than kindling on the

divorce bonfire but I think I found a

way I can really help them make a home

just as we suspected John we repaired

the valve stem seal and now all that

remains is to tighten down this packing

nut and that should do it can we help

you no we have everything under control

my crews redoing this whole floor were

the only people allowed up here right

now we'll proceed with your work you

won't notice us at all well we're gonna

be kind of loud my son is several weeks

old

he's quite familiar with the sound of

power tools oh my goodness we are back

with America's greatest leader Annabel

Porter and her new favorite artisan

local woodworker Ron Swanson hello I

discovered Ron's chairs a few months ago

and what I absolutely love about a

Swanson is you can really use it for

anything yes mostly you use it for a

sitting

make it a rustic accent piece in your

solarium even better use it as a focal

point in your yoga tent put it by a

table and eat a meal we don't do meals

in my home no every two hours we eat

what I like to call a food tease like an

oat wedge or a seaweed lozenge

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are you doing here the most important

government work I've ever done sanding

rat urine stains out of this floor there

he is

hello hello thank you for your kind

words about my chairs miss Porter no

thank us you are about to make a ton of

money

I want to license your designs we are

gonna put Swanson chairs in every six

bedroom home in the Midwest if my shares

were mass-produced that wouldn't be

Swanson chairs Swanson chairs are

handmade yes and now they will be made

by thousands of tiny Chinese hands there

I think I got it you got it oh do you

least tell me what you're doing I'm a

homeowner right I would like to actually

learn something yeah I'm tightening the

valve stem into the valve shank I'm

replacing the handle and then tightening

the set screw hold it in place no oh my

god that's a good feeling

sense of accomplishment pride damn it I

just love it so much

are you okay great I'm gonna go around

this house and fix everything I can find

that needs fixing you want to help I

really do

good that's next oh look John it's red

pine they were gonna put flecked

linoleum over this beautifully preserved

knotty red pine most people in this

world John are asked this is the best

day I've ever spent in a government

building and luckily my son was here to

share it with me

he now has that satisfied look that only

comes with the pride of Labor or he

pooped

either way well done John

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