[13+] Home Movies (S02E08) - Therapy HD

lord have you lost weight perhaps not

that I know of but thank you

no he does look thinner hmm oh you both

flatter me not flatter my lord

Emma well I suppose you two look thinner

to them yeah possible I'm fatter if

anything

you seem shorter to your honor shorter

yes but shorter it doesn't carry the

same complimentary weight is thinner but

funny I don't feel shorter sire

is this your a big shoe yes give that

back must have fallen off you're

shrinking my king hey what's that

supposed to mean we didn't know how to

tell you I'm not shrinking yes my lord

you are oh yeah well you're shrinking

how do you like that doesn't feel so

good does it

no but we are not shrinking and I

remember a time when you didn't have to

use that stool

I like the stool I use it because it's

fun you use it because you're shrinking

hey is this some new kooky way of

impeaching me not at all sire your

humble service my presence of King well

well then very good then that seems

settled is it settled then good okay no

more talking of shrinking then all right

okay could somebody just help me up this

duel yes good I'm off to go shopping

then how are we on toilet paper good

gets up get some yes all right and write

it down

teehee oh I get it I remember okay I'll

be back soon my lord

he's definitely Shrek we should prepare

for his eventual disappearance I got my

wallet and he disappears I'll take over

oh goodie with me as your woman

commander

prodding against me good thing I'm

shrinking or they'd see me feel soft I

think it feels flat soft and flat like a

bathroom rug it also feels forced

like somebody forced a bathroom rug into

something like a hamper hey by acting

it's horrible you think you were bad

what about me I couldn't act my way into

a paper bag into are you serious my

acting sucks on ice what was i doing up

there not acting that's for sure

you know that was his brother I should

put some extra bait on that hook yeah

don't forget your tackle box for your

compliment fishing trip I thought we

were all fishing for compliments that's

what we would not forget it hey Rena

grow a beard

okay guys compliment guys should we

maybe rehearse this morning we shoot it

oh yeah nobody's acting to that bad

you're acting like a child what does

that mean me or him both of you well I

am a child so thank you do you want to

elaborate Linda you didn't want a race

because of your shoes that's what you

say no what I really wanted to do did I

jump in and say something go ahead

Brandon Brendan it never mind Linda we

said let's race to the car and you said

you couldn't because of your shoes and

you know so we just honey you were

wearing beautiful shoes but maybe you

should carry extra shoes on days with

Brendan and you said you didn't want to

race anyway but I did I just couldn't

because of my shoes well maybe we can go

shoe shopping after this or we can

schedule shoe outing for the three of us

don't patronize me

I'd like to stop you I'm not patronizing

you I'm just saying what are you saying

hey I got an idea well let's reschedule

the race and we'll just let Linda win

Brandon do not patronize Linda I thought

it was patronizing you real nice I can't

believe we're arguing about shoes no

don't do that

it's more than that and maybe we should

argue about something else I'd like to

stop you there to get serious if you

can't interpret what's really going on

then how well is this whole thing gonna

work stupid well maybe it is stupid then

it's unanimous something stupid I'm

doing hey I'm sorry but you know I am

the winner of the race Delia can we stop

talking about the stupid race I'm gonna

stop us there I'm so embarrassed

well that's why I taped the first

session so that we can see how

embarrassing we are

and my acting is horrible I'm really in

a slump does this cost more the taping a

little listen doctor I'd like to

apologize for everybody's bickering and

I then I'd like to accept our apology

well good but the main issue here is

communication and there was some

abrasive talk that day wasn't there yeah

there was the word stupid was used huh

stupid ouch

stupid is a very hurtful word and you

raised your voices you pointed fingers

I'm sorry well dad I'm not looking for

an apology but if the three of you are

willing I'd like to show you a

communication technique I've pioneered

called gentle talk guys it sounds stupid

but okay

Brandon sure it does sound stupid but uh

okay great well then let me start off

easy on y'all I feel that it would be in

your best interest

let's get used to that phrase huh and

let's try to use that phrase in place of

the word should should is an ugly word

isn't it

sure it is since when oh yes it is when

one is telling another that they should

do something at your critical parent

talking we don't like to be criticized

do we gang no no how about you little

skipper you don't like criticism do you

criticism no I don't mind giving it no

we don't I feel that it would be in your

best interest to wear some running

sneakers because me and the boy would

like to race with you to the car today

see that's a little more gentle isn't it

yeah that's very interesting I like what

you said about the things and I'm sorry

I wasn't listening at all

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time out Ref

time out Melissa Brendan come here

that's right on the double hustle it up

yeah coach are we in trouble I want you

to look at my gums I don't wanna look at

your gums coach come on I can't see them

from here all right oh they're bleeding

yeah yep

you hurt yourself Oh Brandon's called

gingivitis like on TV right or in the

movies right dentist I hate the dentist

me too

because every time I go to the dentist

my tongue gets depressed thank you

you floss Brendon no way no me neither

taemin mom I don't I don't like going to

therapy with dad and Linda it's only for

a trial basis you know you used to try

look your dad thinks it'll help you guys

deal with the tension of Linda being in

your lives

wait that came out wrong no but it is 10

see I'm going out of my mind but are you

learning anything I mean sigh culture

can be kind of interesting

well I learned that should is a word I

shouldn't use question yeah I don't know

because it makes a doctor man he should

lighten up a little

well maybe you should lighten up a

little maybe you should go to therapy

with Linda maybe she should lighten up

with maybe everybody should lighten up a

little

what should we have for dinner he did

have pizza we should have salad - you

should have salad maybe Linda should

have this out I feel that it would be in

her best interest should be in her best

interest what should be in who's best in

the Salas house in Linda's Besant no the

pizzas in the salads business has

visitors the point is Brendan you don't

have to go to therapy but I think a

person like you really should

I was schooled Brendon Allah well great

and how was your day Linda fantastic hey

guys look I want to try to communicate a

little more I mean I don't want to force

us to do anything but the sessions

aren't going to help unless we try to

apply what he's teaching us you know

what I mean let's talk then I said let's

order I feel it would be in our best

interest to talk first I think I'm gonna

get you guys want to know what I did

today I had the worst day well I got in

early I talked to a few clients I have a

case next week and no not next week in a

week and a half he nearly got an

accident

oh I wasn't finished with I'm sorry you

interrupted me honey right did you even

hear what I said

you almost got in an accident yeah I

could have been killed

well I'm sorry about that I mean what my

point is that if we don't allow each

other to finish sentences then how are

we going to learn to communicate better

yeah so it's not important at all that I

was practically killed no it's always

important when you're practically killed

but that's not the issue

oh really really great that's fine

I agree all right tell us about the act

no I don't want to know please it's a

driving down Elmwood and this pickup

truck comes from out of nowhere soccer

coach has gingivitis well that's

probably because he doesn't floss

doesn't I asked him do you floss no wait

do you no way okay what about me whoops

gee I'm sorry I do floss oh you know

what I'll be in the car if you need me

no don't do that tell us what happened

you almost got killed oh my god hmm

should we go get her no yeah I mean

she's a little testy since we started

this therapy stuff you don't say I need

the keys

yeah and hey that reminds me I told the

therapist that you made movies oh yeah

yeah and he said bring some over to the

next session because he'd really like to

see him

oh that's cool where did you park I'd

like to be taken out of the box now

please yes Lord thank you you know I

don't want to sound ungrateful because I

appreciate you two making this shoebox

bed for me but it's a little dark and

musty in there in the we made air holes

for you by lost ship yes and your bed is

too big now that you've taken up

shrinking whoa we don't use that word

I am reverse growing you're acting up

he's acting up

maybe we should feed him I can feed

myself thank you

can one of you just pass me the soup in

the eyedropper please please sorry I

lost my handkerchief you're wearing you

mean my handkerchief yes it's mine you

stole it

hey I can do whatever I want I'm a king

nothing am I out of my mind are you two

plotting to overthrow me or something

because I get the feeling that you are

plotting against me you must be out of

field behind my lord because I can hear

you plotting against me you're crazy my

lord crazy I think you're overtired

maybe you should get some sleep so we

can smash you what he just said get some

sleep so he can smash you oh okay well

that's it yeah alright hey wait a minute

I'm not sleepy I'd like to stop us there

Brendon yep there's a lot going on there

but you know which character I think is

the most interesting who the one that

you played the president King yeah

that's my favorite too well I didn't say

favorite I said interesting interesting

because that character clearly has a

number of psychological ailments he's

got a Napoleon complex he's narcissistic

he's claustrophobic he's delusional he's

paranoid he thinks that some

authoritative male/female team is

plotting against him sure and he's

slowly disappearing yeah he's pretty

screwed up that character is you Brendon

right I played him you can tell from my

nose no Brendan that character

represents who you are yeah I know if

you just fast-forward the credits say so

Brendan you in real life have these

issues no way and that character is you

because I played him no in real life you

are those things you didn't like the

movie did you it was fine

but the president Kang is me because you

recognized my voice I feel your true

feelings about your father remarrying

have come out in your work Hey look it's

not over analyze this I have to Oh dad

Linda I think we've had a big

breakthrough today we found a big

roadblock in the family and that

roadblock is right there

you

I don't think your melon chested Brendon

well maybe melon chest it is the wrong

word but you know I am messed up do you

mean maladjusted that's it see that's it

I'm screwed in the head I'm insane in

the membrane no you are not Brendon the

old doctor was his face seems to think

so

well dr. what's-his-face is wrong you're

fine look there's nothing wrong with

reacting to your father remarrying I've

been doing it all week

well why did you have to get remarried

anyway you know who knows I knew this

therapy thing was a bad idea

you said psychology was interesting only

in theory not when it makes you feel bad

about feeling strange about a thing

that's totally natural and not your

fault yeah but dad wants everybody to be

happy this is another one of his stupid

antiseptic remedies it's clinical and

detached

it's nonsense I should talk to him I'm

gonna talk no no no no no no no don't

don't listen just let me know if you

want out okay all right you know you

keep it in your pocket if you feel weird

pull it out and give it to the doctor

well what are you write on it I have no

idea something along the lines of listen

you crazy idiot

this sounds aggressive okay maybe I'll

do a rewrite

there's a piece of advice Brendan

there's no such thing as psychology it's

all made up crap oh really

yeah they're all con men all of them

even the women now just remember that

when they're telling you how screwed up

you are okay and let me tell you

something else

astronomy is BS - really

yeah well that star crap is ridiculous

but there are stars whatever Brendan

okay will you ever you ever go to a

therapist no yeah sometimes you got to

do certain things to reenter society all

right yeah I guess I've got some issues

Oh like what I'll fix him well I guess

I'm slightly frustrated about my father

remarrying you know that's a load of

crap Brendan come on

that's psychobabble what don't fall prey

to it Brendan okay what does that mean

though so what were you saying I was

saying I guess I'm slightly frustrated

about my father remarrying you know the

one that makes sense the woman he's

marrying though you know what is she

ugly no actually she's attractive which

is really attractive pretty attractive

yeah she could be in the magazine really

yeah what type of magazine like a dirty

maggara like one of those model mags uh

I can model Meg you know yeah yeah

so you're jealous oh no way no no she's

not my type she's she is way too wound

up well so are you Brendan no I know oh

yeah you are

No yeah see you're defensive that's cuz

you're accusing me there's nothing wrong

with being wound up Brendan all right

and you're like weak and sickly

yeah well short - whoa what without

either Brendan nothing wrong with being

short you make up for it in other ways

right use your head - Trent sure sure

yeah what no but anyway Brendan's clear

to me you're jealous

no way yeah now when this woman probably

acts like a baby you know and acting

like a baby's your job right yeah and

stepping on your toes and you hate her

even though really deep down you wish

that she was marrying you what you

worried me no no and maybe you opened

your father's bedroom door and she was

just getting out of the shower and she

had just the towel on and on that towel

was riding really low exposing a lot of

cleavage she's all wet

the skins all fresh everything you can

smell it pure clean clean and nude and

beautiful yeah

it's textbook stuff Brendon

look the bottom line is you're gonna be

fine

just a kid right you know well you grow

up and everything no it doesn't we go

anyway Brendon one last thing yeah okay

go ahead Linda use the gentle talk use

it to say something to Brendon well

Brendon good now we're cooking I feel

that you and I misunderstand each other

and maybe we should ouch what happened

there Linda what do we say about the

word should all right try again Linda

maybe it would be in our best interest

to try to understand each other

Linda that was just what the doctor

ordered

Brendon I know you must be feeling a

little fragile after hearing that and if

you'd like to cry well that's alright I

think I'm gonna be okay I would like us

to hear your response to that Brendon

okay well uh I think it's kind of easy

for Linda to say that we should

understand each other because now she's

off the hook and the pressures on me

Brendon wait now I think I've got

something here uh Linda yeah I don't

dislike you but I dislike being around

you whoa whoa Brandon I can say that

because we don't know each other at all

and neither of us is making any effort

at all but you know who knows maybe we

should but then again you know maybe we

shouldn't I don't know you know ouch

ouch ouch Brendon ouch I'm concerned

with your behavior

yeah what's new Brendon I know you know

about gentle talk I'm being

passive-aggressive aren't I no your

aggression isn't passive at all it's

active aggression so you're saying it

should be more passive than no and ouch

because you used the word should again

Brendon I've got some homework for you I

would like you to try to express exactly

how you feel to somebody with whom you

have a difficult time communicating

using gentle talk alright no and no I I

wanted to speak to you about the food

alright what okay first of all what what

is this it's chicken fried steak

chicken fried chicken fried steak okay

III it's steak fried and chicken fat

it's good for you okay I feel that it's

important that you know how I I feel

about the chicken-fried steak you enjoy

it you like it yes I feel that when I

tried this that I I felt that I could

vomit alright okay and now I feel that

was in a uncalled for did you feel that

yeah

I did yeah yeah and I feel that that was

about another ow so let's move on okay I

thought it was important to say

something are you mad at me no I just

feel that I get bored sometimes when you

talk about work oh well I didn't know

that and I feel that what you just said

is an aggressive attack on me I feel

that you're raising your voice and

trying to hurt my feelings well I feel

that I'm honestly responding well I feel

that if it weren't for your son we

wouldn't be spending all our time and

money in stupid therapy stupid you just

used the word stupid in a sentence

directed at me alright let's start off

easy today dad how's about you say

something nice to Linda to open things

up do you always have to call me Dad

well no because I'm not your father I am

aware of that I don't like it when you

call me Dad well that kind of hurts my

feelings sorry I feel some aggressive

energy from your side of the room over

there because I have a name

it's Andrew okay okay Andrew well we'll

come back to that but now I'd like for

us to get into a circle around Brendon

and this is an exercise to show Brendon

his strengths so he won't be so insecure

hey I'm right here geez dad would you

like to start what'd I just say

my fault Andrew would you like to begin

why don't we start with Linda well why

not go ahead Linda Brendon I feel that

you're talented

hey thanks great Linda I'm gonna go next

Brendon I feel that you're a real

go-getter and

someday maybe I feel that you're gonna

relax and enjoy life with your father

and Linda stop already

jeez nobody talks this way this is

unnatural Brendon I was complimenting

you that's probably why it sounded

unnatural

besides you warned you hope I relax

someday is what she said that's not a

compliment this is ridiculous

no I I can't do this if he's not that

I'm not why not well if they aren't then

neither am i let's all calm down and try

to diffuse this anger no way I'm mad and

I like it me too good for you way to go

Brandon you leave him alone and don't

talk to him like that Linda I'll be in

the car if you need me I don't think I

will need you then I'll be in a cab Oh

doctor I forgot I have a note for my mom

I won't be coming back

you know why because yeah that felt good

ouch

could I get some money for a cab I'm

sorry I put you through that I'm still

feeling the adrenaline it's like extreme

therapy well I learned a lot so uh am I

still invited to the wedding if there

still is a wedding so are you saying

that Linda might not marry you I really

don't know Brendon so she's available

very funny

you think I'm joking I've got issues dad

gotta where are we going

taking you to your mother's where are

you going I've got to have a long talk

with Linda oh I take it upon myself to

welcome you as my new husband yes my

sweet piece of angel cake I to take you

as my new wife hawk let me just get the

ring yes the ring please if it's not too

much trouble all right

uh-huh I gotta yeah hmm

this baby's got a lot of pockets the

ring please I say sure worn a

three-piece okay oh yeah

okay everybody uh you're not gonna

believe this

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